Ok Moms,
Can you empathize? I am getting SO sick of lost jackets. Other things don't come home, but the coats really get to me. I just went to our towns great children's second hand store and purchased a new warm coat and lo and behold, it's gone! Part of me wants to just let it go and accept it as a part of childhood. But, the other part is a bit, no a lot stronger. In these hard times with our finances so tight I'm just not capable of going and replacing coats every time they vanish. AND the season for coats has passed, so I had to dig through the closed up winter wear bags to find this. We have done various consequences, probably one's that you will suggest, but I'm curious. What do you think is a reasonable, respectable and related consequences?
Thanks,
Mary
Mother of 7 year old fraternal twins/ WPT and happily married.
Hi Folks,
Thanks for writing with your input. Sounds like I'm on the right track. I've done all of your suggestions and in part I just wanted to see if I was being extreme. Heck, I forgot my bathing suit the other day at the Y, realized it the minute I walked into the house and when Iwent back the next day, it wasn't in the original location, nor in any of the lost and founds.
Yes, I do surf the lost and found bins to look for their coats. I make them do it and I help. And yes, I have retrieved new coats from their when the coats have been there so long, it's time to "go shopping." And, yes, chores and contribuiting to paying for their own coats too. So, THANKS. It helps to know that I'm being reasonable, respectful and that how I approach it, within reason is related. Thanks! Mary
Hard to believe they can forget something as "big" as a coat, isn't it?
I got a gander at the lost and found pile at my son's elementary school and it looked like Mt. Everest!
Can't you look at the school or wherever they lost them? Maybe that's consequence enough--like everything stops til we track down this jacket...
I buy one coat per year. If they lose it then they either go without a coat or have to replace it with their own money. I see you live in oregon so going without is probably not an option. Help your kids find odd jobs now to save up their money to be put away for coat replacement next winter. Give them an incentive. If you don't lose your coat you can have your money at the end of the season. You might want to help them earn enough for two coats to always have some money in the "bank" for a loss.
I'm a recess playground volunteer. After every lunch time, my partner and I pick up arm full piles of coat and take them to lost and found. At the end of the month any unclaimed items go to the PTA clothing closet. I'm always amazed at the huge pile of coats that are never claimed. Do parents not look in Lost and Found? Maybe kids have several coats and don't realize they've lost one?
When I find a coat with a name, phone number and teachers name on it I try to get it back to the kid. There are rarely any coats with enough info. Some have a name but that means nothing to me. A phone ## may get a call. But with a teacher's name, I will take the coat to the classroom.
I understand that if a parent relies on a child to look in lost and found they won't look hard enough to find it. The pile gets really big and one has to be focused to get to the bottom of the pile.
My daughter left coats at friends houses. I expected her to get them and bugged her until she did. I didn't buy another one. Yes, even in Oregon kids do go without. It's not much of a consequence for my grandchildren. They don't want to wear a coat anyway. lol
Not being able to play until they find the coat is a good consequence.
We have a huge lost and found at the K-12 I teach at. I would make them go through it looking for their coats. Then I would make them clean out their backpacks, rooms, etc. all in search (maybe call it a scavenger hunt) for the coats. Then I would make them look in all the places they go, car, grandma's house, etc. I think giving up play time is a pretty significant consequence for lots of kids.
Where do you think they were lost? If it is at school most schools have a lost and found section so check it out (I would do it yourself because asking your child means they might glance but not dig through). Kids forget if they take off a coat outside and then just go inside forgetting to get the coat... tell your kids they need to keep the coat on or if they take it off they HAVE to put it by the door where they go inside so they see it when going inside. In the end other kids do it, so they will do it and you will just have to try to go through the lost and found and find them.
If they ride the bus ask the bus driver. You might need to go to the bus central (where they park the buses when not in use) so ask where it is, I am sure they have a lost a found too.
Are they losing coats when playing outside at home or at a friends? Call friends' parents and see if the coats are there. Tell them they must keep their coats on if they take them off they HAVE to put them inside then go back outside.
Tell them if they lose a coat they need to do chores (or extra chores) to pay for a new one. Also get the cheapiest ones (maybe even ones they don't like) and if they complain tell them once they learn how to be responsibly for the coat/clothes they can have nicer ones they like.
Put their names on the coats, if they complain about it say once you are responsible enough to keep track of your items then I will stop putting your name on everything. This will also help a teacher or a friend's parent who finds the coat/clothes know who it belongs too (and hopefully they will be nice enough and give it back to you or kids).
