Looking for Positive Feedback About Large Age Gaps Among Children

What a great group of responses!
My son was 7 when little bro was born. We were very careful to always let him choose to help, it was not a "chore". We also incorporated the older son by telling him stories of how he acted or things he did when he was a baby.
Little bro is two now and they are awesome together.

My sibs are 7, 9 and 10.5 years older than me. I was close with them growing up, and remain close with one of them now. The only "issue" I have with being so much younger is that my parents always treated me like the baby, even into my 40's!

My sister and I are 9 years apart, though I am the older one. From my point of view, we had and still have a great relationship. From what my sister has told me, she really liked having the 'cool older sister'...her words, not mine! :) None of her friends had the much older sister and they all liked me too. I would be the extra 'mom' during girl scout outings if they needed me. They thought it was pretty neat to come to my high school softball games with her.

As an older child, I loved having the much younger sister. She's in college now, so hearing all the stories are quite funny...just the same things I did at that age! It's fun to relive that!!! And, as a younger child, I know my sister enjoyed it!

My kids are 15, 6 and 2. I don't think any of them are affected by the age difference. The youngest one has the other two and all of their friends to look out for her and to look up to..she is like the whole neighborhoods little sister and she loves it! I think it's much harder on us. Dealing with a teenager wanting to drive and dealing with terrible 2s at the same time is no fun!..lol!

I was 9 years old, and stuck between 2 brothers, aged 11 & 7 when my 'surprise' baby sister came along. We all took to her like she was our own. My mom said she barely had to care for her! If our baby sister made a peep, we were at the ready to pick her up or insert the paci. :) We pushed her around in her stroller outside for as long as she would let us. The older she got, she followed us around like a shadow. When we were teenagers, she got even more attention from our adoring friends! She got the benefit of older siblings as protectors, mentors, and chauffers as soon as we hit driving age. Lol. Now that i am 37 and she is 28, we are even closer. There was a time when the age gap seemed to affect us, it was when she was in her late teens & early 20's...but it was her actions & decisions...she was out sowing her 'wild oats'. When she finally settled down & had a child of her own, she came back to us full circle. We older siblings were always fiercely protective of her...and still are to this day. I don't think you have much to worry about. :)

my husband and his brother were 10 years apart. growing up my husband adored his older brother.

Hmm, I'm gonna be in your boat soon. Number 4 is due in december, just in time for my youngest to turn 8, my oldest will be 11 and I have a 10 year old as well. I'm hopeful that it will work out well. I think my big thing is making sure that I still do all the things with the big kids, while doing all the things with the baby that I did with them. That and not using them for easy entertainment and childcare. I have one sibling and he is 10 years younger than me, we aren't close, but that's more because of our mom and how things were when we were growing up at home. I think we could be close if we had ever had the chance, and with how excited my kids are for this baby to get here (the 3rd boy, my DD is 8) I think they will be a great support system for this little guy later on. I also think that they will have a lot of fun reliving the things they did as very small children and showing the baby how things are done.
however I could be wrong, but I wanted to try to share my optimism.

my cousin has 2 kids, 10 years apart and they love each other.

my littlest bro is 17 years younger than me. Unfortunately, we didnt get to spend a lot of time together while I was at college, but some times he would come spend a weekend with me and he slept in my room when I was home for the summer. Now he loves being an uncle to my little girl, even though he's 12, and he is very patient with her.

My DH and his brother are 10 years apart. They weren't close when they were younger, but as adults enjoy each other very much. My DH says he didn't know his bro very well until he became a teen.
But at the end of the day, they are good friends. I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone will adjust.

ok so my son is 9 and my daughter is 3 and they are very close and love each other lots he is very good about playing with her,,he also worries about her is she is sick he dotes on her alot...now with that being said i was the youngest of three girls growing up..there is a giant age gap i am 34 my sisters are 45 and 51 so i have vague memories of them being at home when i was a kid funny enough i am closer to my sister that is 51 then i am to the one that is 45 so no i never really felt left out a whole lot..i am kind of the one that is the peace maker in the family when there are problems..i love my sisters and i was raised by my parents to love my family no matter what now that doesnt mean that i have to like what you do or say that just means that i love you no matter what...my moms saying was i love you but that doesnt mean i have to like you right now..good luck to you and your family i am sure your boys will love each other even though they wont always get along

I am the older than my younger sister by 8 years (and my brother is 7 years older than her). I'm not exactly sure how she felt when I left for college--well, I know she was really sad. But, I came home a lot, mostly to hang out with her. We are very, very close--sometimes it's not exactly like a sibling relationship a bit more parental--but we have a great time together and have ever since she was born.

I am the youngest of three. My older brothers are 7 and 9 years older than me. (My mom always said I was a "surprise" not an accident!) Happy to report that I adore my brothers, they are my heroes, and we have great relationships and always have. I was like a "toy" I think when I arrived. Don't stress. He'll be fine. Congratulations!

I have two daughters, one 22 and the other 12. Yes the younger one definitely remembers when her sister lived here and played with her, etc. (And our age gap is larger than yours!) They are also VERY close and enjoy spending time together. And my older daughter got to be an only child (I don't look at that as a negative, but rather positive because I was one) for the first 10 years of her life, and now my 12-year-old is reaping the benefits of being the only one at home. She also has a cool sister with a neat condo where she can go hang out. Think positive! There are many other things to worry about down the road.

I wouldn't worry too much about the age gap. My sister and I are 7 years apart (I am the oldest) and we have always been close, as kids and as adults. She is my favorite person in the world (besides my kids and hubby of course). When we were younger I would take the time to play with her, even despite the age difference, I tried to include her some things when I was a teen and in college. I think that really meant alot to her, that I put i the effort to be a great big sis. My oldest is 7 almost 8 and my baby is 16 months old. I think my oldest is a great big brother. He is still learning about not being the only child, but can be very helpful and I can already tell my 16 month old is infatuated with him. He thinks his older brother is the coolest. I truly hope that they grow up with a great relationship like I had.

Just think about it, in a couple of years you will start to have a babysitter in your own family. When you pay your own child to sit for his sibilings he will have his own money to spend. Just yesterday my 17yr old took his 11 and 8 year old brothers to the movies because I had something else to do (that was not kid fun) They would have been bored to death with me.

I'm the youngest of 7 children and the gap between the last of the two of us is 8 years. Although I wasn't lonesome I felt like an only child once my siblings went off to college. It had advantages as well as disadvantages, I remember my siblings dragging me around by force and by choice at times like a trophy or mascott to my advantage of course. I was definately rotten to the core but I couldn't get into much trouble because by the time I was a teenager the friends of my siblings were young adults and it seem as if someone was always around. Think about finances, you have plenty of time to reaccumulate college money, wedding money ect,ect. I currently have a 12 y/o, 14 y/o and a 3 y/o although we're done with our family It appears as though with the age gap I followed the footsteps of my parents.

I can not write from the youngest but from the older child view. My sister 8 years younger, and I were really good friends, still are. I remember voluntereing in her class room once I hit college, she would hang out with me and my friends of her own will and I would gladly play with her and her friends. We talk often about what it was like. She did become an only child when I moved away but we still stayed close. She tell me how she liked myslef having broken in mom. At the same time I know there were times that she wished we were closed in proximity.

I have a brother that is 5 years older and another brother that is 8 years older. I really feel that I had the benefit of having siblings when I was young and then being like an only child in my teens. My brothers took lots of time to play with me. The oldest even helped me put together a Barbie McDonald's. Through my 20s I talked to both of them on the phone several times a week. It has become less frequent as we are all grown up with families. But I can say I have a great relationship with my family!

Hi - the "baby" in my husband's family is nine years younger than he is and six years younger than the next youngest sibling. The "baby" is now 21 and has a beautiful relationship with my husband and with their oldest sister who is 14 years older than the baby. The two older kids played with her a lot and did a lot of diaper changes and taking care of her as a baby. I think it has been incredibly positive for her because she had two "grown-up" siblings when she was in highschool which is a difficult time anyway, plus their parents were going through a divorce. She spent several summers living in our guest room while she was a teenager and she knew she had extra grown-ups in her life who could help support her. I think it was so helpful to her as a teenager to have these two older siblings who had enough life experience to actually give her some good guidance, but who were still young and "cool" enough that she wanted to listen to them!

She is now just the sweetest, most capable, most grounded, most responsible 21 year old I know. I really think a lot of that had to do with her siblings. She does have a lot of memories of them playing with her and the nice thing is that they are all positive. The older kids used to argue about whose turn it was to play with her. For me, I have a lot of positive memories of playing with my older brother (4 years difference) but I also have a lot of memories of getting on his nerves and him not wanting to play with me because we were close enough in age for me to be a nuisance! I really think the larger gap makes it easier to have a good relationship later in life.

One other thing I would say is that my husband's sister got to become an aunt when she was young enough that her nephew was almost like a younger brother to her. They are six years apart and have a very close relationship. I can see that she is going to get to be the "cool aunt" for him and for some of the other nieces and nephews who are closer to her in age because she's so much younger than their parents. She also just got engaged and she has the whole family excited and trying to figure out how to help her because everyone else is in a place where they have the time and/or money to help support her in life. I think being the baby has really given her a lot of security in every sense of the word.

Hi! I'm not the youngest of a large age gap, but my children have eight years between them. My daughter is almost 13 and my son is four. Not only do they have an age gap but also a gender difference. All I can say is, there really isn't any need to fret over an age gap. My daughter, at age eight, was a huge help with the baby. She'd get diapers for me, feed him, and hold him when I needed a break. She also watches him now if I'm needing to run quick errands. So my experience with an age gap has been a positive one. I hope the same for you!! Congrats on your new baby!! ls

I think that as a parent, you have a great opportunity to help them build close relationships. Encourage it. Don't ever plant a seed in their minds that they shouldn't be the best of friends. They live up to what we tell them. My kids are all great friends. Even the 18 year old is close with the 4 year old. No, they don't do a ton of stuff together, but when he comes in the room, she runs up and hugs him. She'll sit on his lap if he's sitting down. He thinks she's pretty neat, too. :)