Looking for Other's Experience with Having a Third Child

Hello A.,
I'm a 41 year old mother of three and my youngest is 9 months old. I have a 16 year old and a 18 year old. I struggled with the same issue when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter who was not planned.The gap between the children scared me along with my age. My daughter is one of the happiest babies and she loves her big sister and brother. I have to spend more time with her because of the gap but it has not affected her at all. You will be fine because of the other two not being that far along. Just keep them involved with the entire pregnancy if you decide to do it and it will make it a lot eaiser.

J.

I am in a similar situation. I have a 3 year old son, a 15 month old daughter, and I am 14 weeks pregnant with a "surprise" number 3. We were discussing number 3 when I got pregnant (I had scheduled an IUD!!!). To me, it was fate.....lol.

Anyways, my thoughts on three is that you will be outnumbered. In a dynamic of "two", there is one child per parent. One parent will always have a heavier load out in public. Three kids means you have to totally resign yourself to kids & kids stuff in an overwhelming capacity - we have to buy a mini-van & I SWORE no mini vans, but three kids in carseats = a mom mobile.

On the positive side, I came from a family of three and my mom ALWAYS knew what was going on. In a family with three kids, at least one of them will be "buddies" with mom and she finds out everything. At least in our family that was the case. I also like the fact that if I need someone (to share good news, or bad news), I can call always get a sibling on the phone. It's like a little support system.

So although I know three will be a blessing and a chaotic nightmare at times, I know that down the road I will be soooo happy wit three. And my oldest is very excited about a new baby.

Just wanted to share! Good luck!

I think your request was meant for me to answer. I had 2 children 14 & 9 (boy & girl)from a previous marriage. I meet a wonderful man (God sent)! We wanted to have one more child. It only took me 4 months to get pregnant after getting off my birth control. I got pregnant with twins (a boy & girl)! I only wanted one but I am so thankful for my babies. They were the best thing that could have ever happened to our family. They are so much fun as long as mom and dad participate in taking care of them. You have to share the responsibility... its only overwhelming if you dont have help. I laughed & cried when the doctor told me I was having twins only because I was 31 and afraid that my body wouldn't be able to handle the pregnancy. Hardest pregnancy I ever had but it was sooooo worth it. I deliverd at McLeod at 28 weeks; they were a little less than 3 pounds a piece. They were Children's Miracle Network babies of 2008. They were truely a miracle... no physical, mental or developmental problems at all. If you decide to have antoher child be thankful for whatever God blesses you with because it is a blessing to be a mother! God bless you in whatever you decide to do.

I have three kids, 2 daughters, ages 5 and 3, and a son who is 5 months old. My girls play great together. My husband and I have discussed having one more just to make the numbers even so there will be no one left out, but after much discussion we have decided that we are done. Having three is a good number. They are close in age so they will grow up together. I have two sisters and we were close as kids and are even closer now. Having three at the ages they are does make it difficult sometimes but it will be worth it one day. I would say to try for that boy but if it's a girl then you will have three little princesses that will be very close, friends come and go but you will always have your sisters!

Hi A.,
I have three daughters 7, 4, and 2. Our third child was not planned and I got pregnant when our second was only 10 months old. I love all three of them and right now they love to all play together and it is great. The one thing that I don't like is there is never one on one time. My second child never had that and never will because when my first started school our third one was born. Now that my second child will be starting prek I will have the one on one time with the third child. I do feel they all fight for our attention which is really hard. Good luck! C.

I will preface my response by saying it's a very personal decision and every family is different. I have 3--a girl that is 10 and twin boys that are 5. I didn't think that with the age & gender difference that it would be a problem, but it is. The kids often pair up and leave one out, and sometimes they are quite mean about it. It drives me batty! And I think the world conspires against us too--most video games are two player games (most of the good ones anyway). This causes lots of fights. And then there's the fact that my daughter is lonely--she says it's not fair that she is the only one that sleeps alone (the boys share a room). She doesn't have a sibling to ride with on rides at the fair. I could go on, but I'll just sum it up by saying that I wouldn't have had 3 by choice. However, I'm not willing to even it up by having another! LOL

By the way, I often ask other mom's of 3 if they have issues and a lot do...

I really feel that all of that "stuff" just works out like it is supposed to. I have four--13, 11, 7 and 2. A couple of them where seriously planned for and a couple were not. The only girl is 11....they all get along great, most of the time. I think that the multiple question will only work out the way it is supposed to. Are you having fertility treatments? If the concern really is having more than one more I would say have no more.

I was blessed with 3 boys ages now 8,7 and 5. I was not planning on the 2nd child nor the third child and bc doesn't always work so after being married before and not having children it was in the cards to have them with my new husband.

Each child adds something different to our lives. My middle child is not as demanding as the first nor is the third child. When I was preg for the third child it was a situation that i could not believe and I didn't know what I was going to do with three children. After he was born I cannot imagine life without him nor can his brothers.

Yes they fight at times but no one really gangs up on someone...yes at times it could seem like that but the oldest will many times think he's the boss and the two younger children will let him know he's not.

No one is really the odd man out. I mean they stick together when they go to say a birthday party and they don't really know the kids very well. They also stick together if someone a stranger kid pick's on one of them. They don't like doing something without each other and they include each other, they miss each other like when the youngest was this yr finishing up his prek and the other two had a early release when the youngest didn't.

I can't imagine not having 3 kids, I never imagined having 3 but couldn't see it any other way now.

My best wishes to you you what you decide.

Hi A.. I have 3 daughters ages 12, 9 and 2. As you may be able to tell from the last gap, my last child was unplanned and unexpected. Because of the gap, my two older daughters "baby" and spoil her more than I'd like but I'm thankful. She is very demanding because she is the baby but my girls think it's cute. The 2 year difference in my oldest girl's help because basically everything my oldest can do, so can my miidle child and when I for the baby to tag along with them, they don't mind because they can take turns watching her istead of 1 having to be "stuck" with her all the time. My middle child is the most understanding because she knows that she has someone older looking after her and that she has someone younger to look after, so she knows that everyone don't get and do the same as the other all the time. The only issue I foresse is if I can't get a bigger home in the near future, my middle daughter won't have a room of her own until my oldest moves out because I only have a 3 bedroom home so she'll be the one always having to share. Your problems/issues basically depend on the personality and attitudes of your children.

Hi There,

We have three and I have to say the 3rd one was the easiest of the bunch. The older two actually do help the younger one more to teach and watch her so she doesn't get hurt. Plus you as parents are better prepared too. And this time around you'll have two little helpers. My oldest would help feed the baby in the car for me when she was born. He was a little under 5 at the time she was born but once I showed him, he did a great job!

Hope this helps...

I have three girls and a wonderful baby boy. They range in age from 13 to toddler. The best advice i ever heard was that "once the child is here there were no regrets, but there always will be regrets for the child who never was." Each child and every person is a unique and unrepeatable gift. A great read is "The Traveller's Gift" by Andy Andrews. Fear and our desire to control everything in our lives are our own worst enemies.
Consider praying for God's will in your life and know that the gift of each life is AMAZING and has everything to do with eternal life which far outspans our life here. Let go and let GOD. Pray unceasingly to know God's will in your life and your blessings will be many. God Bless you and your growing family.

I would not be concerned about the ganging up issue. I was the second of four and instead of having two gang up on one we had three ganging up on one. the "left out one" was always changing depending on the day or issue. like someone else said try not to overanalyze, if you really want three and can handle three then go for it!

I only have two children by choice, so I can't tell you what it's like to have 3 or more, but I can tell you why I only have two. There are several factors such as hating being pregnant, age, etc., but my husband and I decided from the beginning we would only have two children because we really love to travel and we want to share that with our children. Economically, adding another child makes things a lot more difficult unless you're really wealthy. Extra plane tickets, admission tickets, another room instead of sharing a room, larger vehicles, etc. There is also the prospect of extra college tuition, extracurricular expenses while in school, preschool tuitions, etc. I'm throwing this all out there because I'm astounded at how many people never seem to consider the financial aspect of having kids! I'm not trying to say you haven't or that it's an issue for you, but it is for a lot of people -just food for thought. If you're wealthy or you don't like to travel or you don't foresee doing a lot of extras like trips to museums, theme parks, water parks, etc. then it's probably not as big of a deal, but we liked the ease of a family of four. You'll find lots of memberships to places like zoos, etc. are geared for families of 4.

Also, I'm a big believer in replacing yourself and not adding to the earth's overpopulation problem. It's just a thought, but we are killing our environment in a lot of ways, and overpopulation is one of the biggest factors.

AND -there's no guarantee on not having multiples! You can get pregnant with twins or even triplets at any time -especially if you're over 35, have a family history, have a larger frame or are of Latin or African descent.