Looking for Advice on Sleeping Through the Night

Updated on March 18, 2007
S.R. asks from Burlington, VT
8 answers

My daughter is almost 14 months old and is a true delight. She started sleeping through the night at 4 months old and would go to sleep on her own with hardly any tears. Well, once she learned to stand, that went out the window ( around 8 months) About a month ago the doctors discovered that her hip sockets have not fully developed and she has to sleep in a brace. She now wakes up several times a night. If I leave her in her crib, she WILL NOT put her self back to sleep. She stands as close to the door as she can and screams. I have tried all the things the books say, talking to her gently, explaining that it is bedtime, etc., nothing works. I end up taking her out of the crib which is supposed to be a big no no and is keeping me exhausted. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? She was sleeping all night long before the brace, so I am pretty sure she is waking up in discomfort, but I am at a loss as to what to do. She has always been a pretty easy baby.

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B.R.

answers from Orlando on

I know I have let my child cry 15-30 minutes before I would go back into the room. Mine is 18 months old. And I don't take him out of the crib. I would just try to console him. Eventually he learned. And now sometimes he cries after I put him down for a nap or bedtime, but only for a minute or 2. He knows that I'm not coming back. Don't think this is of any help for you though, sense you've probably already tried it. Best of luck to you! And I've always had music playing for him right before I leave the room. He loves his music. So that helps him. It's a cd player so eventually it stops.

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P.M.

answers from Miami on

Warning: This is an anti cry it out post. If you are very pro cry it out and will be offended if your method is questioned, please do not read this post.

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I say read different books. Read something by attachment parenting friendly experts. Start at the API website and find some books that respect the reality that children need parents at night too. Yes, crying it out works, but at what cost to the child? What does the voice deepest inside you say? How do you feel when your child is crying? Do you feel pulled to go to her and care for her? I say go. Hold her, love her back to sleep, and ignore anyone who says it is wrong to be there for her. Loving and attending our children does not need defense. If she is uncomfortable, how can you not care for her? Maybe you could try to see what she feels by seeing if you can find a way to make your legs be like hers for a night. Simulate her experience and then decide how you feel about not tending to her. I personally would not ignore any babies cries at night and think cry it out is the saddest thing and I never do find a way to understand how a mom can ignore those cries, but for sure no one, even a mom who can use cry it out can possibly think it is necessary for a child who is not comfortable.

Please, we have alternatives to cry it out. IF you do not want to be a night time parent, at least try ways that do not ask your child to cry. Check out "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She is a real mom with four children and she has some great ideas that are respectful of a child's real need for care at night.

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A.L.

answers from Orlando on

Hi S., sorry to hear about your dtr having this hip socket problem. How long does she need to wear it? Is she in daycare? and are they letting her take too long of a nap during the day? I would eliminate all possible problems then go from there but my heart goes out to you and her. I guess I'm an old softy but I would comfort her back to sleep or co-sleep if possible. She's still so young and she needs you.

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B.L.

answers from Fort Myers on

I too would suggest the cry it out method. First ask the doctor if you could maybe give her something for the discomfort to help her through the uneasy sleeping. But, then I would let her cry it out. Children are very smart and begin to learn to manipulate at the early age of 6 months so, by 14months they are professionals. She sounds very smart... so, at this point she's realized that if she cry's-- you will come. It doesn't take long for them to get into bad bedtime habits. My daughter is 2 and if she's sick or something and we baby her or give in because she's sick she then expects it and it takes us a few days to break her once she's feeling better. The CIO method takes a little bit of time but, it really does work. Good Luck!!

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H.G.

answers from Fort Myers on

She probley in some kind of pain from the brace.call and ask the doctor if you can give her tylenol(or Motrin witch worked better) before bed time. that should help alot. good luck and i hope you both get some rest soon! H.

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T.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

I have a 16 month old daughter who had started to stand in her bed and wait for mommy or daddy to come back and comfort her, too. My husband saw no problem with doing it "for the first time", but got tired after 4 or 5 times and 2 hours! I told him that we needed to be consistent... she doesn't understand "the first time" only that she expects us to come every time!!! We did the cry it out method suggested by others. I will tell you it took 40 minutes the first night of hearing her scream, the second night only half as long, and within 4 nights she goes to bed without fuss. The trick is you can't go back in! You might want to peek without her looking to check that's she's okay. If you do need to go in, no comforting words -- lay her back down and leave. It was difficult... I hate to hear my DD cry, but she needs her sleep, needs to learn how to get to sleep and we are all much happier!!
Good luck!
PS -- the infant Motrin or Tylenol was a good suggestion by others, check with your ped. to see if she really NEEDS it. Be careful, though. You don't want your DD to be dependant on it for sleep.

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R.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

this may be too simple a question and may not be helpful, but are you allowed to give her any pain medication when she wakes up?? and my other suggestion is do you keep soft music on for her to listen to? We play nature sounds or classical to help our son relax...when he wakes up, I don't speak to him, I check if he had an accident in his diaper, then turn on the music and leave...he goes back to sleep within a few minutes. This may bnot help you due to her casts, but I hope you are able to find some solution soon!

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