Looking for Advice on a Custody Situation...

I have quite a bit of experience with custody cases. Although the evaluation favors your bf, it is still possible for her to get primary custody. The only way to avoid going to court is if mediation works. That means that your bf and the child's mother come to an agreement. That rarely happens so I would say prepare to go to court. To apply for primary custody, go to the Domestic Relations office in your town and file for primary custody. They will give you a list of attorneys and your bf can choose to have one or choose to represent himself. I would recommend the attorney because the attorney will then take the initiative to get the evaluation from whoever it was that did the evaluation. Also, family court usually likes to place children with their mothers so that's another reason it would be a great idea to get an attorney. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask. Good luck.

I hate to tell ya, but you probably will end up in court. I so wish I could help you. I'm dealing with a very ugly sutody mess also...and so is my boy-friend. I wish you much luck and if you feel like it, I'm willing to lend an ear as someone who knows how messy things can get

K.

HI A.,

YES IT YOUR BUSINESS, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE IN THIS CHILD LIFE AND HELP RAISING HER. EVEN IF YOU'RE ONLY THE GIRLFRIEND AT THIS TIME, SOME GIRLFRIENDS DON'T WANT TO BE A STEP MOM TO THEIR BF CHILD, I KNOW A FEW THAT WOULD SAY THAT'S HIS PROBLEM AND EVEN THOUGH THEIR LIVING TOGETHER WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS CHILDREN, MY NOW HUSBAND WHEN WE FIRST LIVED TOGETHER, I WAS DIVORCED WITH 5 CHILDREN , HE TREATED MY CHILDREN LIKE HIS OWN AND THEIR FATHER WAS IN THEIR LIFE ALSO, YOUR CONCERN IS FOR THE SAFETY OF THE CHILD. SOME WOMEN WHO ARE MOTHER DON'T ALWAYS THINK OF THEIR CHILDREN EVEN THOUGH THEY GAVE BIRTH TO THEM, YOU CAN BE A MOTHER WITH OUT GIVING BIRTH, IT NOT HARD TO LOVE A CHILD. WELL I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU AND YR BF..

In my experiences with this, sadly more than one, I would recommend that your boyfriend get an extremely experienced custody attorney who will help you take care of this once and for all. Yes, it will cost money but it will be worth it in the long run.

In the interim, document everything that goes on so you have written proof.

I would also keep my distance and involvement to a minimum since it obviously only agitatates the mother of the child which then fuels the already volatile situation.

This is an ugly situation, I've lived it, more than once.