I know how this feels, and i feel like this too sometimes. it is hard to work from the house, and to be home alone with the kids all day. First of all, i would try and get together with the parents of some of the children's playmates from school or moms day out and arrange for playdates, and alternating taking eachother's kids. We got season passes to Sea World since many of my friends have them too and we can either go together as a group, or alternate taking eachother's kids. It's around 50 bucks, but worth every cent for the things that they see and learn, and for the exercise and fresh air they get from navigating the park. there are also public parks that are quiet and safe, like the one down the street from me (off Chevy Chase near the intersection of Eisenhauer. There is a ball park, toddler area and covered picnic area and there is hardly ever anyone there. you could sit in the shade while the kids play, and it's definitely a good place to meet up with friends.
It is soooo depressing when your whole life feels like work. The day in and day out of kids, laundry, cooking and housework can be sooo mundane and joyless. I am at the point where i have considered going back to work, just for the exercise, interaction and change of pace. I would even consider doing it if every penny earned went to a cleaning lady and a sitter, for at least you would be out of the house, and not slave to the demands of it for a while. Also, if you are working outside of the house and bringing in an income, you have every right to ask for help from your husband and kids with the household duties, like the cleaning, laundry and meals. it will have to be everyone's job, not just yours.
I would talk to your husband about it, and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him that you need change to be able to change yourself. Tell him that you need these changes to be a happier , healthier person, and in turn, to be a better mother and wife.
He may not wholly agree, but it is not for him to decide. If you must remain in this sort of situation for the rest of summer, i would start planning your day with lots of structure for the kids. Firstly, I would make the kids breakfast, or have your son make his own, and help to make hers. Give praise for their help/work. Establish an award system for their cooperation, and make them earn things that they take for granted, like the tv or computer. Instead of using your kid's draw to the tv or computer to keep them occupied, give them coupons for time blocks to use these things. With your son's cooperation in the morning with breakfast, making the bed, showering and dressing, he earns a coupon to use the computer or tv or gameboy later in the day. Have the kids get active with chores like sweeping or feeding the pets, or emptying the dishwasher. load up the washer and have them pour in the soap for you, have a race to match up their socks from the dryer. In the afternoon, establish what my daughter had at camp, which is FOB, which means" flat on back" or "feet on bunk." this is an hour or so where your kids have to be on the bed, and nap, read or do something quietly. this will help the little one nap, and give the older one a little break before he gets antsy midday.
Take them for a walk or bike ride before dinner. Use the neighborhood pool, or the ymca, or the pool at the gym. Have everyone help make dinner by setting the table, washing veggies, tearing lettuce etc. Give praise and rewards for the teamwork. maybe have a daily log where they earn points every day for a week or two towards a special day out or a treat.
it is hard to give the kids structure if you cannot follow it yourself, and that is challenging, i know. Kids crave and almost demand structure to thrive, so maybe you could give it a try? maybe start incorporating a few of your own ideas into their routine and see how they respond.
best of luck to you.- Lace Z