I am so sad to hear this.
So what I am hearing:
He tells you your son does not love you. I don't know any 4 yr olds who do not love Mom. This is a red flag that he even says this. What I hear is that, "He ( your husband) does not love himself and and he is playing the blame game.
He does not save money. Therefore, he has a gambling problem. If he was a man, he would have a few thousand set away in case he got laid off. He is the man and should have a nest egg to get you through at least one yr. ---should be tucked away in the bank.
Do you take your pills? He is the one who needs help. Another blame game.
If a husband says that he cannot wait to be single...I am hearing, "I am not capable of seeing my faults and addictions and I am not man enough to work on the marriage.
You MUST go to counseling. Go yourself fist and discuss it w/ a therapist. I, personally, would choose a therapist who is happily married with a kid or two. Then, get his tail in there. Otherwise, he will not change.
Why should he? He doesn't see his issues.
This is dysfunctional--The way he is treating you, the gambling, the no-savings, etc...
My friend of 12 years just found out that her husband (Age 50) is cheating w/ a 35 yr old. He has many of the same blame game issues.
He blames her for everything. Even her 2 sister-in-laws see that their own brother is dysfunctional. They tell her to get his butt in counseling because he has reverted back to being a teen.
Do not keep waiting. Get some theraphy for yourself so you can see that you are not to be blamed.
I hear you about waiting to get married, but, he is in it with you and he has to get out of his dysfunctional role. He needs to hear about this from a therapist. I cannot imagine that you are intimate. If you go to counseling (and over time) things should work out and then, much of the joy you had when you were 21 and 22 should come back...But, this NEEDS intervention !!
If he does not change, you will have the wisdom to pick a guy who loves you truly...and wants to be w/ a life-long partner. Many guys are out there.