Dear S.,
I think it is wonderful that you have made yourself safe for your daughter to talk with you, even though she is choosing not to fully avail herself of this. You sound like a wonderful mom.
I was a VERY angry child. I bit my hands when I got frustrated, threw things at walls, screamed, etc. My parents helped me with auditing, a service available through the Church of Scientology. An auditor is someone who listens, and for me the auditor helped direct me to discovering the problem myself, and determining my own solution. You can find a local church or mission, and simply call or walk in and ask any amount of questions you like. As a mother, my mother and I both find that the book "Child Dianetics" is extremely helpful in solving difficulties our kids encounter, without squashing their abilities or willingness to communicate and contribute.
I would just like to point out the drugs are NOT the answer, as some therapists may believe. For more information on that, please visit CCHR.org.
Good luck to you!!!!