Long Term Nurser Ready to Stop-need Help!

Congratulations on giving your children the best food on earth! When my daughter was 2 1/2 I decided to wean her. For us this worked like a charm: I would allow her to nurse and we would count to ten (at any pace) then she had to switch sides and count to ten again. She could nurse as much as she wanted as long as we counted and switched sides. The after 5-7 days we'd count to 9, etc... By the time we got to counting to 5's and switching, she must have thought it was too much trouble and she was weaned. It took about a month, but there wasn't even a complaint or tear! Good luck!

Before you read my reply, take into consideration that my point of view is that of a mother who is really dedicated to Attachment Parenting.

I think, if you made the decision to do extended breastfeeding with your kids, that isn't something to be taken lightly and it IS a lot of work. You are either committed to child-led weaning or really, whats the point of extended breastfeeding? Weaning when your son is really not ready can be quite detrimental to his little psyche.

I went through something similar with my youngest. I'd nursed all four of mine as well. My goal was to do so until she was two. But she LOVED nursing and clearly wasn't ready to stop at two. We continued until she was three but I was ready to be done by then. LOL Right before her 3rd birthday, I started talking to her about how she was a big girl and soon wouldn't need to nurse anymore. I never told her she HAD to stop...just reminded her that she was really getting to be such a big girl. I also use a sticker chart to encourage big changes (potty training, sleeping in her own room, etc), which she loved. Shortly after her 3rd birthday, she announced to me that she didn't "need" to nurse anymore. I would remind her of her decision if she asked (not often) and there really was no fight. She was ready. And the sticker chart helped. :0) It went very smoothly and I was glad to have our nursing relationship end in such a peaceful way. Especially since she was my last baby. It was very bittersweet for me....but I wouldn't change the way I did things. :0) Good luck!

you're the parent. prepare him. tell him 5 more days (or however many days you decide) of nursing and then you're done. and then stick to your guns.

Hi P.,

I had a similar situation with my son. I swear if I hadn't done something he'd still be nursing to this *day*!

I had talked with a La Leche League leader and his pediatrician and they both pretty much said the same thing, let him wean at his own pace. We'd been nursing only at bedtime and upon waking for over a year. At two and a half years and able to have fairly involved conversations, I was really ready to be done. Eventually I talked with my doctor. It happened to be right before Thanksgiving... a nice long weekend. She suggested I stop nursing Wednesday night and that he would be fine by Monday.

Wednesday night at bedtime I told him there was no more "nurch" for him and, "doctor said nurch all gone." He was pretty upset for about 15 minutes, maybe even a little angry. I dreaded the morning, but when he got up he said, "Nurch all gone?" I confirmed and that was the end of it. I was quite relieved at how easily it went.

I know there's room for a lot of fear-mongering available on just about any topic, including this one, so just remember not to let fear be your guide. Toddlers truly aren't damaged by stopping nursing, but from withholding love and affection. I'm sure that will not be how you do this.

I had a persistent nurser too. At age three I decided I was done and it was time, lol. The following worked, mostly, but you have to go cold turkey, which is uncomfortable.

Put band-aids across your nipples -- 2, cris-crossed on each one. Tell him your "breasties" (or whatever) are broken. Keep the band-aids on for a while, so that when he tries again he'll see that they're still broken.

Here's the thing: it works for the most part. A year later, my son is still touching my breasts and one morning I let him "nurse." I asked him, "aren't they empty" and he said "yep" and latched back on. It's been a year and a half and he still tries to put his hand up my blouse... (I've talked to a friend who has the same issue with her son, and we're convinced that our sons are going to be bringing home a woman with the same breasts someday.... :)

The ones who just like to be with you (with a snack) will still want to be with you, in the way they like. But this DOES work to get them to stop nursing.

So much good luck!

Is he too old to manipulate? Can you try the technique of putting bandaids on your nipples and telling him they are broken? I'd go cold turkey. He can't access your nipple if there's a bandaid on it.

I think keep doing what you're doing. What finally worked with my daughter (she was 25 months, fully weaned by 26 months) was that it started hurting me (b/c I am pregnant) and when she would latch on I would say Ow or recoil or something. I wasn't even doing it to get her to stop, but it worked. That last month she would still ask but as soon as she saw it hurt me should would let go and she's been fine since.

Hi- I totally disagree that because you chose to nurse your kids longer than most that your should continue even though you don't want to. Nursing is a two way relationship and if you continue past when you feel ready to wean you will start to resent it. One great thing about nursing a toddler is when you're ready to starting weaning you can talk about it. When he wants to nurse and your not into it first try distraction, offer a snack or to read to him or just snuggle. You can explain you just aren't going to do that right now and tell him when you will do it next. It shouldn't be hard to whittle him down to once a day if your consistent and don't give in. My exception was if my kids were hurt then I'd nurse them to calm them down. We never had any traumatic scenes, it was just a matter of being firm and explaining that they were growing up into big girls and big girls get to do different things with Momma. Don't go too quickly as that may be hard on him and just keep cutting down until your at once a day. Then try having other family members put him down as much as possible and slowly that last one will be less and less frequent. Good Luck!

P., from one extended-nursing mom to another -- good job!! You don't say how old your son is, but it sounds like he's old enough to engage in a conversation about the end of nursing. I did this with my daughter at 22 months and it worked. Just explain to him that mommy's milk is going away because he's not a baby anymore. Give him a timeframe, say a week, and then it ends. Best of luck!!

Here are a few suggestins that I have heard other women give. Set up boundries with your son and stick with them. He is old enough to understand simple boundries. Such as we only nurse at bedtime, or when mommy is sitting in a special chair. When you start to nurse say we are only going to nurse to the count of 10 or as I sing the ABC's...what ever works for you. He will resist this first. All children resist new boundries but as long as you stick to your guns he will learn that you are serious.
Good luck and Many Blessings, K.

I just finished weaning my son. He is only 15 months old. So, I don't know if this will help for you. My son use to think that if I sat @ the computer, he could nurse regardless of whether he was hungry or not. I just quit sitting @ the computer when he was up. Also, there was one spot when I sat on the couch that he asssociated with nursing. I just started sitting on the floor with him and he would never try because he thought it was play time or reading time. Instead of nursing @ the times you nurse, try reading to him or playing with him, maybe offer him a cup of milk w/ a little chocolate. It really does just take patience as I'm sure you know. Also, maybe just try eliminating one session @ a time instead of just going cold turkey. I know with my son, I thought he was never going to quit and we were down to one session that he would not give up. Then one day he didn't try to nurse and I didn't offer and that was it. It was finished. I do have a friend that has a 16 month old that just quit cold turkey last week and her son was fussy the first day and that was it. He is completely finished and never asked again after that first day. Good luck....it's not like he is 5 and still nursing, you have plenty of time to wean him!

Mu son was three when he was weaned. I went away on a weekend trip, and when I came beack, told him that my Mommy milk had gone away since he was getting too old for mommy milk. But that he was ok while he was at grandma's and grandpa's and he would be ok now. I then made sure that I gave him lots of affection so he would know I still loved him!