Lonely

Hello K., my name is C. and I have a two and a half year old daughter. I'm recently a single first time mother and I know how you feel! I thought I had my life all planned out but due to my divorce Iv'e had to figure out how I'm going to support myself and my daughter. I started school last fall to get my nursing degree. I'm heading down the right path and still feel lonely. All m y friends aren't really my friends any more we are just growing apart. I'm not sure what your situation is with your friends but good friends are hard to find. If you need to talk or need any help let me know you can contact me at ____@____.com

hey i completely understand im a single parent of 3 im 24 n crave adult time

Hi K.. My name is F.. I dont even have family here its just me and my two kids and husband, but my husband is at work. So what i am gonna do is spend quality time with my kids and maybe start decorating my house for christmas. It kinda sucks being lonely huh....With such a little one there isnt alot to do huh... Hang i there F.

K., I wish I could help. The only thing I can say is that you could still feel lonely even if you have someone with you. Just a suggestion; join some groups or focus some more on your interests and gain more independence. Start meeting other mommies and begin play groups. -J.

This is normal especially as a single mom. I think the best thing you can do is try meeting some mommy frinds. I am also going for nursing. I just wanted to add that! LOL. When my son was born I was super lonely myself. My son is 3 and daughter 2. I now work and go to school. Good LUck.

K.,
Hi, I am a 26 year old mother of an 18 month old daughter. If you ever are feeling lonley, get a hold of me. Maybe we can hang out. My email is ____@____.com

L. R.

I completely understand how you feel. I would have to say allot of people do. Whether they have kids or not. It is hard in this world where people can be in such a rush to be able to get to know anyone. I am sorry that this happened to you on Thanksgiving. My personal advise for you is to seriously find a chruch or several. Go to each one feel them out until you find the one that works for you. It does not matter if you are that religion or if you are completely unsure about religion. The bottom line is that a chruch is an extended family that will be there for you when you need them. In all different ways. This is what I am going to be doing. Your son is really young and there just is not that many activities you can plan for him. However other mothers with children of the same age maybe you can get together with them. It is so hard and so emotionally saddening. It is just that your son picks up on how you feel. Not that you can change it. Just take some steps and remind yourself that you are not alone. That you are doing the best you can. Counseling really helps seriously. Cus you would be surprised at what you discover causes that lonely feeling inside of each of us. Take care and email me anytime you want. We can form a buddy email list of us lonely moms. I am here for you.

Check out your local MOMS club or MOPS. You are not alone, there are alot of moms in the same place you are.

I remember when my daughter was born I had the same lonely feeling. We had moved here from the east coast and I had no family and no friends out here and my husband worked soo much and even went out of town for days at a time. I remember calling my mom and crying to her how lonely I was and I felt like I was raising my daughter all alone. Having a new born really can make you feel helpless!
The best advice I can give you is to join some kind of a playgroup. I know your son is only 1 month old, but a lot of playgroups are more of a refugee for moms than anything else. I joined one and it has helped a lot. For the first time since I moved out here I have other moms I can call for advice or to just hang out with. My group meets every Tuesday at 10am and we all bring something to munch on. We have kids from a couple months to five years old. It's a lot of fun. Let me know if you are in the West Valley and I can send you an evite if you're interested.
But hang in there. It DOES get easier. And good luck with the nursing career. I have a friend that just graduated and she's working in the ER. She absolutely loves it (not to mention it pays great!!).

K.,

You are not alone in feeling this way. I have been a single mom for a little over 2 years now and I sometimes feel the same way when I am alone with my son. One day I finally got sick of feeling that way and I decided to do something about it. The first thing that I did was find some other single moms that I could hang out with. I posted on some parenting forums that I was thinking of starting a playgroup for single moms and their kids. I also started talking to some of the moms at my son's daycare. I now have 2 other moms that I spend time with. It helps to have someone to talk to that knows exactly what you are going through. Just because you have a kid doesn't mean that your social life has to end. You just have to be willing to adjust it a little.

The second thing that helps me is keeping busy. When my son and I are alone, I make sure that I plan something (even just going to the park works) that we can do together. It's alot harder to be lonely when you are having fun! There are tons of sites out there that have calendars of activities in the area and many of them are completely free. You can even talk some of your other mom friends into going with you.

But despite all efforts, I still have days where I am just lonely. I think that is normal. There is something to be said for adult companionship and as much as we love our children, it just isn't the same. I think I would probably be just as lonely if I lived by myself and didn't have a child. Just hang in there, stick to your plan, and you will get past these moments.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

B.

you should try to just stop thinking of how lonely you are and pop in a funny kid movie and just lmao you will feel a lot better hope you can do that

I know how much the holidays make a person want to be surrounded by family. You're a young single first time mom of a very young baby. A lot in your life has changed and its hard to adjust to detaching from your mom a little now that you have your own family (with your son) especially around the holidays. I felt the same way a lot of the time when my son was born in February because my mom doesn't live in town and I don't have very much family here, just a brother who never visits. If you ever need to talk send me a message @ ____@____.com and I'll be there to listen.

You comments touched my heart because I am lonely too. Then I realize I have to engage myself into life and if I do that I won't be lonely. Like volunterring at the food shelter, etc. When my children were younger I found out where the parks were that catered to children and went there. Though I was lucky, I lived in Cinicinnati and three was a mall there that had an inside sand play court area that the children could play at in the winter. Anything that connects with the world outside of you and your son is good.
Plus, keep that goal of becoming a nurse. I am a nurse, have been one for over 20 years. Being a nurse has given me more choices and life chances than if I would have not done it. Even when thigs are rough as a nurse, patients, family demands, school chaos, etc. - it is all worth it!
Good luck and God Bless.
If you need help with nursing school - let me know and I will help.

K.,

I know how you are feeling. I am currently a SAHM of two boys although I am married my husband travels alot. We have just moved to a new area and I have yet to find any close friends. I tend to feel lonely at times but battle it by attempting to stay busy. It also helps to go out and met friends with children so that you can talk too someone that relates to your situation. Stay active and positive by going to playgroups, the gym (personal gratification after baby weight) and other outdoor activities because sitting around the house thinking about how lonely you are can begin a cycle of depression. Which isn't good for you or your baby. Much success!!

K., I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I know a thing or two about loneliness myself. (So many like us, actually!) I have three little ones in the house and sometimes when my husband goes to work and it's just us four, I wish there were other adults to talk to. Don't get me wrong, I adore my cherubs. It's just that I don't have much intellectually stimulating conversation with my two-year-old or my three-month-old, and my six-year-old really just wants to talk about Jimmy Neutron and play light sabers most of the time. :)

So, where are you located? I'm in El Mirage, AZ. Kaiden is a terrific name - I love it! If you'd like to chat, or really just need a shoulder to vent on, I'd be happy to be there. (____@____.com) Take care, K.!

~ R.

Well, do you have any other friends who have kids that you can take your son to? I know you can't go to the park because it is cold, but i would take my kids to the local headstart and let them play with the other kids with the permission of the teacher. Sorry i could not be of too much help.