Little Girl I Watch Is Saying Some Odd Things and Acting Out...

First off, to clarify, according to the language in the staute I read, and will paste below, there appears to be nothing wrong with babysitting in your home. If there were, I imagine most of us would be guilty of it, anyway.

"(e) "Child care center" or "day care center" means a facility, other than a private residence, receiving 1 or more preschool or school-age children for care for periods of less than 24 hours a day, and where the parents or guardians are not immediately available to the child."

Please note it specifies "other than a private residence."

Now, I agree that you should just keep an eye out for suspicious markings, and in the meantime, discipline the behavior issues with the appropriate time outs, and such. You might also ask mom what her method of discipline with such offenses is. This could let you innocently gauge her reaction, and you can just make clear as you ask that it's just so that you are using discipline that is familiar to the child's usual discipline. My thought is, if mom acts overly nervous about the question, you might want to pay extra close attention for danger signs. But, it could just be that the parents don't discipline at all. So, don't make any rash decisions, based on a poor reaction to the question, either. Good luck with this.

For starters, are you licensed to watch children in your home? If not all this parent needs to do is call the state on you for anything and you will be fined, it is a misdemeanor to watch unrelated children in your home without a license.

If you are licensed then you should be discussing these matters with the parents. This child's behavior is trying to tell you something. It may be that the parents are fighting allot and maybe dad is doing it to mom. There can be many reasons as to why this child is acting out. We have a Childcare Network in Washtenaw that will send someone to your home to observe the child and see what they think is going on. It is a professional who will then have a meeting with the parents on what their thoughts are. You will need to get the Parents permission for the observation. I am licensed and am a member of some provider groups one of which I run. Other member would be able to offer you more insight on this matter. I would look for bruises and document them. When caring for other people's children you all need to be on the same page with discipline etc. You can email me offlist if you want to talk more.

M. i to agree with your mom i would check her out for marks and if you find any that look odd i would put a call in to child protective services you can do it with out leaving your name they will look in to it if it not ture then all is well if it is true then you could be saving her life .when my 14 year old was two 1/2 someone turned me in because my she told them she only get bread and water and there never any food in the house they came out on anoused and look i had a toons of food and she had no sign of malnurish .if you do not feal right going that route talk to the mom or go to your church head but i would play it safe and let cps look in to it that what they do

I would watch for visible signs as others have said, and keep in mind that she may be seeing something on TV, having dreams, etc, but it is important for you to be aware and observant, maybe even keep a dated journal of what's said, done, etc. I know my 2 1/2 year old son told me the other day that I dropped him in the street and left him there crying. Now where on earth he got that from, I have no idea, and it really hurt my feelings to hear him say such things. He's not into lies, doesn't act out, or anything of the like. He's been quite an angel honestly and I can only imagine that maybe he dreamt it, but why?

The hitting, etc that you mentioned however, should definitely be addressed with the parents - repeatedly if necessary. As a parent I would want to know if my child was doing such things that maybe weren't displayed at home. Our son is in daycare and there is a child there who hits, pushes, etc and it can be very disruptive and confusing to the other children who know that this is not appropriate behavior. You're in a tough postion, but I wish you and the children the best...

Hello! First of all, I want to say that I agree, that children do make things up. But, they don't totally make them up. She has to be seeing this somewhere, whether it is at home or on TV. I 100% agree with your mom. You really need to check for bruises. I would also try to find some time to talk to the little girl. Ask her questions about who did this, when, why and does anyone else know. She is young, but she should be able to tell you something. I would definitely tell her mother that this is going on. Of course, it is awkward for you, but you may be changing her life, or saving it. See how the mother responds. Especially watch closely for bruises after you tell her parents. If she is indeed being abused, they will definitely "discipline" her for telling. If you find any reasons, (more bruises, her telling you more about what is happening, the mother acting odd, them pulling the daughter from your daycare), I would definitely consider making an anonymous call to DCFS or CPS(I am not sure what it is called in Michigan-but it is chid and family services). There should be a hot-line number in the phone book. Like you said, she may have been making the whole thing up or over-reacting to getting her hand tapped for touching something she shouldn't. I would also closely monitor her around your children and any other children in your home. She may seriously hurt one of them, if she gets upset enough. This is a very touchy area. You don't want to overreact, but you don't want to ignore it either. I wish you all the luck in the world. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask. I have worked with abused children and also with DCFS, so I will try to help as much as possible. God Bless!

Hi M.,

You really should check for bruises, but you need to do so with caution. You can check arms and legs, and when you are changing her maybe her tummy but you don't want any allegations made against YOU...if that is what is going on.

Child Protective Services would be your next step only if there is visible bruising...otherwise I would continue to talk to the parents, to the point where you may feel like it is a daily discussion you are having with them!! I would feel pretty confident to say that this little girl is being exposed to something she shouldn't be, whether it is violence in the home, or at someone else's house, on TV, etc. that is causing this behavior and you need to do everything in your power to make sure it is not physically happening to her. Good Luck....I know this is a very difficult situation for anyone, including caregivers!

M.,
My first thought is to check the little girl for marks as soon as she tells you something happens at home. If there are marks you should call childrens protective service right away. I would not address the parents about or they might pull her out and you could loose her. If there are no bruises she may have a lying problem and that may be an issue you talk with the parents. Either way you are in a hard place but you have to do what you have to in order to protect her.

Give the child lots of extra love and attention. Don't punish more for breaking the rules - be there so that she can not break the rules to begin with. If you leave the room, take her with you and tell her that you need a special helper. Make sure she knows that you are there for her and can be trusted. When she is away, make up the extra attention that you give her to your own kids. Whether she is making it up or not - your kids need to be safe.

Report to the authorities. They are trained to find these things out. Likely scenario if you are wrong and report - egg on your face and she pulls her child. Likely scenario if you are right and fail to report it - the child is hurt again, and again, and again.

unless you realy need that job honny you need to remove your babies out of that eviroment! is too much going on and is beginning to effect on your children. also like your mom requested check for bruces

Unfortunaly I think that checking out her body for bruising could do more damage then good.(unless they are visible on arms or face with shorts and a t-shirt on.) I would have a talk with the mother to ask if there is anything going on at home that you need to know about. If there is nothing then I do believe a report should be made so that professionals can come in and ask the right questions. Then you should think about terminating caring for the child if no actions are taken and it is still affecting your own children in a negitive way. Good luck either way, just remember they are not going to just take away the child unless there is physical evidence, it usually takes a few complaints and if something does happen to this little girl you could be held responsable. Again good luck and let us know what happens.