I wanted to know if anyone else has a little diva and how they deal with them. My daughter, who is 4, is soooooo insistant and very, very, very social(which i'm not, especially). She is constant insisting on having a picnic, or a party or some get together. I'm trying to locate a low cost set of classes for saturday mornings(she loves all things arts) and I take her to the park. But as a single child, she wants me as her playmate ALL THE TIME! I love my daughter, but I need my space also. She has a lot of energy and I try to run her around, but it requires me to always be with her. I am self employed and a teacher and I really need time to do some of the things during the day, as well as the things around the house. Dad is a musician and is on the road alot or away after hours.
I want to be around my child but because she's so high maintenence (as I'm sure most children are) I feel I just need a litle advice on how to handle her temperment and what things I can do to keep her occupied and interested, just not with me every minute. (BTW, she just finished doing a craft project all by herself for about 4 minutes! Really proud of her. I actually talked on the phone with my husband and wrote this post!)
Thanks for your advice!
A.
Hello,
If you want my daughter attends dance classes out in Temple Hills Maryland. It is very affordable and the hours are from 8:30-12. The classes start back the first Saturday of September. you can contact them at ____@____.com
Nice to hear that there are other 4-year-old diva's demanding attention out there. I have my daughter in full time preschool/daycare because I work full time. After hours I try to take her to the pool as much as possible or have her play with water. I recently put a trampoline in the backyard and that helps.
Good Luck
I have a DIVA too! Alana 5, we live in McLean. Like having a teenager in a 5 year old body. She is also loving art activities, so wanted to suggest to you Abrakadoodle classes and camps (half day) Usually held in community centers and local health club facilities...they are really great. They take an art appreciation approach vs a craft approach...kids love them...here's a link for you.
http://www.abrakadoodle.com/dc01.html
Be happy to share more of our experience with you if you contact me :)
Hey, A. -- I swore I just didn't have time to write any posts but yours just calls out to me! I also have an only child, a girl, who is now six, and who is very social and wants me to play with her. So I know where you're coming from entirely! First I'd like to say, take a breath, and treasure her wanting to play with you. All too, too soon our kids want less and less to do with us, and though she seems to be in your hair now, before long you may be missing the times she saw you as a playmate as well as The Mom. And...diva drama is MUCH worse when kids are in school dealing with real divas and real drama; what you have now is someone who's just eager to be with you!
But of course The Mom also needs to wash a dish sometimes, right? I bet you've heard this or tried it, but involve her whenever you can in your chores, even if she doesn't fold the laundry quite your way or get every (plastic, unbreakable) dish you let her wash really clean.
When you really need your dear only child to occupy herself, there are crafts, which you already use -- and if you don't already, then hit the craft store next time there's a coupon or sale and stock up on lots of craft stuff so you are never short. Sometimes just asking a kid, "Surprise me! I won't peek! I'll be back in 10 minutes and see whatever you've done!" and putting out lots of different craft stuff, can occupy a crafty child for longer than that 10 minutes. (Use a timer if she doesn't find timers a problem -- my daughter associates them with time outs so we don't use them for other stuff.)
Also, try books on CDs. She might stay in her room for a while if you have books and the CDs that go with them there--put one on for her and see. Don't spend a fortune! The library has lots of these now, for little kids' books as well as bigger kids' books (and it'll help with her reading). Let her choose them at the library and make a big deal out of it like it's a major treat to get alone time in her room with her books and CDs.
There are other things like Leapfrog books, I think, and other read-aloud devices. Not sure what's popular now. They do cost, and I found that the books for some of them were limited (one brand given to us a few years back seemed exclusively to use Disney character books, which is OK for a while, but gets tired fast, and you spend more to get new books) so I advocate the library collections and CDs instead of expensive and limited "reader" toys.
If she loves pretending, can you get her to set up her own tea parties with stuffed animals or dolls and tell her that if she sets everything up, gets "everyone" arranged, etc., that when that's all done you will come to tea? Encourage her to really go all-out on a fancy arrangement so she'll take longer. Again, if she has an OK sense of time, use a timer and say you'll be around for teatime when you hear the bell ring. Then follow through and do stop to play teatime when she's done.
If she has super-high physical energy, consider tumbling, gymnastics or dance classes. You would have to be there but not right in the room, so you might get an hour or so to do paperwork or other stuff while you wait for her. Choose carefully, though--my daughter takes ballet and loves the structure, but other kids don't and should be in hip-hop or tap or something else. At your daughter's age, try a combination class, which a lot of dance studios offer the younger ones.
I hope something here helps. Have fun with her while you can!
Hello, I have the same problem, but I work full-time and have babysitter at home who doesn't drive unforuntately. I would suggest summer camp and lots of playdates for your little one.
Hi, A..
I love your honesty and your frankness. You sound very real.
A few ideas while you are at home with her:
- When doing housework, have your daughter help you. She is not too young to help you in chores AND do chores of her own to learn responsibility. Channel some of that energy towards productive things that also help you. (My mom had me polish her fine silver with a safe cloth when I was little... I loved it... it was so pretty.) Simple, safe chores, of course. She might especially enjoy setting the table by carefully carrying each dish to the table... even if it is for just you and her. Folding laundry, even if not perfect, etc.
- When you sit down to read a book with a cup of tea, perhaps you could make her a warm milk and give her a stack of books. Make small moments of relaxation feel like an event.
- I also remember my mom instituting "quiet time" with me when I was little... this was when I stopped taking a nap and lasted until I was in the 3rd grade... after that, I naturally started to do it on my own. About 2 - 3 times a day at set times.. my mom encouraged me to have quiet time. No TV, no music, no loud activities such as jumping/dancing/etc. She would sit and pray and relax for about 10 minutes and I would read books, play alone, etc... this was NOT punishment. It was framed as a time to be alone with my thoughts and relax and play independently.
- If you are dog or cat people... and have the space, time and energy... ok, maybe not a good idea!!!! I was an only child and craved a sibling dearly.... I never asked my parents for toys... only a sibling! Anyways, they finally bought me a cocker spaniel puppy who lived to be 19 years old. I loved that dog dearly and she definitely helped me/my mom out in sense that my boredom level became non-existent as long as the dog was around. Of course, they are a lot of work, so that will fall on you since your daughter is still so young.
Do enjoy your little one though, soon enough she will be at school all day... and then, she probably will have phases where she is even too much of a diva to hang out with mom. I do echo your sentiments at times. If I lived in area, we could enjoy an afternoon martini over a playdate once in awhile:))))
Best of luck to you.
