Little 6 Year Old Getting into Too Much Trouble

When I had issues with my daughter I took the trust approach. This will take time and patience that not everybody has. I told my daughter since she was taking things without asking I no longer trusted her to be alone. This mean that she had to be near me at all times and ask permission to do anything at all. If I was in the kitchen she was allowed to have one toy but she had to stay in the kitchen with me until I was done. She essentially had to follow me around the house where I could keep an eye on her at all times. When she complained I told her that I was sorry, but I just didn't trust her enough not to take things if I wasn't always watching her. She didn't like this. I didn't play with her or give her attention, she just had to shadow Me around the house. My daughter realized that she really didn't enjoy following me around the house doing nothing but watch me complete daily chores. When she behaved, I gave her the attention she wanted and more freedom. I hope this works for you, but like I said it may take time.

C., I really liked what Shellie posted. If I may also suggest that maybe she can earn a pack of gum just for herself and encourage her to share but you also can 'ask' for a piece and show by example how to best handle the situation.

My daughter who is almost 7 loves to have her own pack of gum, I tell her too how long I expect it to last her before I will buy her another pack.

My handbag is a NO NO, although she did tell me she was going to go into my handbag and 'see' if I had any gum... I told her NO. that was that. It is also about *respect* honoring someone else's things, and the person in general. You may have to look up what it means and do a little heart to heart lesson in respect, stealing or whatever else she may be 'learning' more about at her age.

As always do what is best for you and your family.

you say the 9 year old is not "as bad"? So does she take things too? Perhaps it is a learned habit. They need to know how bad it is to take something that doesnt belong to them. If it doesnt belong to them, it belongs to someone else, and they are wrong to take other peoples things, and how bad it hurts the person they take from. My 5 year old took the teachers eraser. I made her take it back, give it back to the teacher and apologize. That seemed to have worked. Good luck and God Bless.

My first thoughts were that you need to know her 'love language(s)'. A Christian psychologist has written a book about "The Five Love Languages" ( www.fivelovelanguages.com ) but this is the basic idea:
Every person is born with different needs and personalities, and we need to be dealt with accordingly.

The ways that make people 'feel loved' are:
1) Physical touch (any LOVING touch -- a pat, hug, kiss, holding hands, having your arm around them, etc.)
2) Words of affirmation (any positive statement about them -- a compliment, encouragement, 'thank you', etc.)
3) Quality time (just being together -- talking, walking, riding, cooking, shopping, watching TV or a movie, etc.)
4) Acts of service (doing things for them -- putting their things away or anything that 'does' something for them that they'd rather not have to do themselves).
5) Receiving gifts (whether large or small -- giving them actual tokens that prove that you were thinking of them).

Most people have one most important 'need' (Language), and one or two secondary needs. If you can realize which of these are your daughter's BIGGEST needs and try to do more of them, I think it'll help a lot! Her needs are probably quite different from yours -- ways of showing love that are NOT very important to you, so you would just never think of them as being important to someone else. Your older daughter probably has needs similar to your own, so there' never been a problem. I've lived with my husband for over 33 years, and I STILL don't know his love language(s) very well, and he doesn't know mine!! With kids, though, you can usually tell what they're missing because they TELL you what they want/need (or else they gripe about whatever's NOT being fulfilled). If you haven't noticed what she needs, talk to some of your relatives and/or neighbors who've been around her a lot and ask what they've noticed that makes her happiest.

If she's a 'quality time' person, she might even ENJOY following you around as Shellie suggested, and that would be great!

Just try it! It can't hurt anything! Good luck and God bless!

I have a six year old daughter also. She has really started pushing the limits lately also. She hasn't stolen yet but she is sneeky about things. She will try and do things she knows she is not suppose to but I usually catch her. She is also starting to sass and talk like a teenager already. It is very frustrating. She is still a little girl but she acts like she is 16 sometimes.

I don't know if I can help you or not, but maybe you could try taking away one of her favorite toys and putting it where she couldn't possibly find it. If she does, tell her you are going to give it away. If she keeps stealing, take another toy away and hide it, and if she tries to take it back, give it away. Keep the toy for a week and then give it back if she doesn't try to get it back herself. Hopefully, she will stop stealing because she doesn't want to lose any more stuff. When my daughter snuck something and wasn't suppose to, I would tell her I was going to get the money to replace it out of her piggy bank and that seem to work for her also. The point being, if she takes something of yours, take something of hers so she knows how it feels.

I hope I helped a little.

Allie P.

You've gotten some good advice but nothing to do with the change in your availability. My son was 4 when I went back to school part-time. Whenever I had a paper due or a test, his behavior went into the toilet. I wasn't paying attention to him when he was good, but he knew he would have my full attention when he was misbehaving. I think your daughter is doing some of the same things. How disruptive has your new schedule been for her? Did she have quality time with you every day? She may need only a little bit--10-15 minutes might be enough. Waiting for the weekend may be too long. Spending time as a family is important but one-on-one time is too. I told my son that if he'd let me get my work done, we could do an activity he wanted on the weekend. It worked amazingly well. Children don't always have the words to tell you what they feel. Their behavior usually speaks volumes. Good luck.

L.