Lice on My Step Daughters!!!!

Wow I admire your patience with this. I think that after a couple of rounds of lice my husband seriously would have just kept his daughter with us and have made her mother go to court to have her removed from our home and back to hers. I assume that when you write, you speak for their dad's feelings as well and that he is participating in their care and shares your outrage?

To me, this is neglect. I think it's time to consult with a lawyer on what can be done. I would think that it's high time for a CPS complaint and visit to the mother's home so that she is ordered to de-louse the home or lose custody. I know that lice is a pain (my kids all had it) but really, there is no excuse for the mother to be dealing with this for years. You treat it properly and it's done. She's just being lazy and neglectful. I would gather evidence and take pictures, and save receipts of the products you buy so that you can show how real this is and that you are trying your best to treat it.

My understanding is that once the lice are properly treated on all human hosts, it takes a few days for the lice on anything else to die. Can you have their dad talk to their mother and arrange for one combined de-lousing effort during a period when you have the girls for a week or two straight? That will give their mother time to treat herself and anyone else who lives in the home and to treat the home too, and perhaps have an agreed-on third party inspect the home and the people who live there before the girls are returned.

Another thought...can their dad take them to the pediatrician to have them see the scabs and bites and have further evidence that this is going on? The pediatrician is a mandated CPS reporter and may see this as neglectful enough to report. I don't know if that would possibly get dad in trouble as well but it's just a thought. Also, has he contacted the school? The nurse probably sees them as well and could help bolster a case for neglect. Lice aren't harmful in and of themselves but to have them for years is just inexcusable.

You need to get photo proof of what's going on. When they come to your house for the visits take pics of their scalp and of the lice and nits. Take pics of the lice that came off and of their heads before they leave and then again and again do this for a month or two and take it to your lawyer and have them get their opinions on the matter email the mom so you have proof your trying to correct the issue

You said one of the children is in 3rd grade. Maybe giving the school nurse a call and letting her know the child may have lice would be a good idea also. They will take the child aside, check her and if she finds anything will take appropriate steps. Which would usually include sending the child home and not allowing her back until the lice are gone (including all eggs etc).

Cannot attend school if they have them. No camp, nowhere!
So this mother better do something. I would talk to my lawyer to see if they can be forced to clean up or girls stay with u full time.

Why don't you alert the school nurse and/or psychologist. I know that for sure, the nurse will be all over it, she will check them every day and will most likely call the other kid's schools as well to alert those nurses.

Ask her to please keep your call confidential. Chances are she will do a routine lice check for all kids in their classrooms and say she found it that way. I'm sure once mom has all of her kids home for a few days, she will want to eliminate it.

Good luck!!

There are companies that will come to your house and guarantee everyone is louse free when they leave. Would the ex consider splitting the cost with you to have that done? That way you treat the source as well as the girls. As you know if her house isn't taken care of the girls will continue to get reinfested.

Unfortunately, some people are just really crappy parents!

High grade tea tree oil kills lice. Growing up my girls were around other kids with lice but they never came home with it because we used a tea tree oil shampoo that actually repelled them. If I suspected that they had been exposed I simply ran the tea tree oil through their hair with a nit comb. They never had any. We also use a laundry detergent that cleans by the power of tea tree oil and citric acid. Like I said...the bugs don't like it so they stay away. Maybe a friendly gift to their mother of some products would be of help?..

God bless,
M.

The would make me so upset.

Their mother needs to clean her house (just as you have done). I am not sure what is legal though. I do not know if a can court order it. I would take photos/videos of it. would you be will to house the girls (for free) to give the mother time to clean up her act. I mention for free only because i know of other divorced parents who nickel and dime if they have more than 50% custody when they are only required to be 50/50.

You are right about it being embarrassing too. It is not like you can shave their hair off (some boys do this).

You are in a really bad position because these girls are required to live in a lice home half the time.

When I was that age someone in my class kept giving me lice. It was definitely a pain. To this day I freak out if my head itches.

I agree with talking to their school nurse and teachers. I used to get sent home whenever I had them.

There's not much you can do about their mother. Some people are just oblivious to some things.

My two year old daughter came home covered in bites on two separate occassions. But even then her grandparents, my in-laws, still refused to believe something in their house was biting her. Come to find out, they have bed bugs.

Gather as much proof as you can. The courts will most likely give the mother a time frame for fixing the issue.

My heart goes out to your step daughters, but to the ex, her husband, his two girls, their son, and to your family too. I hope that if you get a fix for your step daughters, you manage, if possible to get a fix for the rest of them too because its really no way to live.

No concrete advice though.
Best,
F. B.

Yes, it's neglect, pure and simple.