Hi S.,
I can understand your aprehension. I had to have a C-section with my daughter. It was NOT what I wanted, but ended up being necessary. Her cord was wrapped 4 times around her neck and she couldn't decend.
Anyway, DO NOT have a c-section if it is not medically necessary. There are so many risks associated with them. A previous commenter has outlined them so well, I will not do it again.
Quite honestly, many MD's would be MORE then happy to offer you a c-section. That's what they do ... they want to control the birthing process instead of letting nature take it's course. If you would like to have another child, I would sincerely suggest you find a practicioner who will help you achieve the type of birth you are looking for. There are some OBGYN's who are supportive of the natural birthing process, although at times it seems they are hard to find.
In addition, most Certified Nurse Midwives are very supportive of a natural birthing process. And finally, a birthing center or home birth midwife would be absolutely supportive. Ask questions of your birthing practitioner. Ask them what their epesiotomy rate is, ask what their C-section rate is. The lower the better obviously. The c rate for MANY doctors is alarminingly over 30%! Ridiculous.
Birth is a natural process. Episiotomies are, in general, not necessary at all. It does mean the doctor has to do a little work, but they are NOT necessary in most cases. I can't speak to your case because I do not know your situation, nor am I a doctor. I just know from my own research and discussions with my Certified Nurse Wife that they are often not needed.
C-sections are not necessarily an 'easy way out'. My incision became infected 1 week after giving birth. They had to REOPEN the incision with just local pain medication. Believe me it hurt like HELL! I cried the entire time. They don't put you out for something like that. They let the incision 'heal open'. Meaning they didn't close it up to let it heal. I then had to go back one more time to the hospital to have it cleaned out again, then have a nurse come to my house and change the packing twice a day. It was extremely painful, I was on antibiotics and pain meds, which obviously caused some reactions with breastfeeding my baby girl. It was 10 weeks of this until it was healed. At some point your insurance says 'no more nurse' and then either you or your spouse has to change the packing and clean out the incision. Fun times.
I'm just telling you all of this to show you that a c-section won't necessarily be an easy peasy recovery. It's surgery. MAJOR surgery. That is never an easy out.
You have other alternatives. Find a doctor/midwife who will discuss those options with you and help you have the birth you desire.