Letting You Child See Their Grandparents

You are definitely doing the right thing. My 19 year old have a son in which he have nothing to do with. But I wanted to get to know the baby and we spend almost every weekend together. My son says that I am wrong and should stay out of his business. BUT thats my blood, and I want to get to know him. You are definitely doing the right thing.

I think any positive relative in a child's life is important.
Do you think they love her?
Do you think they will stick around?
Do they seem like people that are caring?

If you say yes to these questions, then yes.

I have a young friend that was abandoned by her father. She is blind and has CP.. Her mom is a real piece of work, and told her daughter that her father and his family had disowned her.

About 4 years ago, the fathers family found her on FB (she was 21 at this point) and said none of this was true. That yes, her father had turned out to be a drug abuser and total loser, but they had never abandoned her. They had mailed letters, gifts, packages.. and all of them were returned by this girls mother. They still had all of the mailed boxes and letters saved for her. As you can imagine once this girl realized that this other family had loved her and been trying to get in touch with her all of this time, they were overjoyed.

My friend now lives with one of her Aunts. They are all very close. My friend says she wishes she had not missed out on knowing this other family all of this time.

And so if this other family is going to be a good influence and be a stable force in your daughters life, yes, your daughter should be able to see them and have them in her life.

Let her meet them, and form her own opinions.

I wasn't allowed to meet my maternal grandfather, because my mom didn't get along with him. I have ALWAYS resented that I never got to meet him before he died.

It's her right to know her grandparents. Besides, it's NEVER bad for a child to have more people loving them. As long as they aren't going to drama up the situation with her father, they should also have the right to know their grandchild...even if their son doesn't.

You are definitely right. Kids can't have too many loving relatives, and her biological father might not be in her life but that doesn't mean that he doesn't exist. By allowing her to meet them and possibly build a relationship with them, you are validating part of her identity. Imagine growing up not knowing anything about half of your birth family - that would be lousy, right? If they are good people, there is no reason for you to prevent her from building a relationship with them. My oldest son has never met his birth father or any member of that family because they are all losers, but if any of them were decent people I would want him to have the chance to know them.

I think it's very important to let her have contact with the grandparents even if the father is not a part of her life. It's good for your daughter and good for them. As long as they are good people, I think your daughter will gain a lot from the relationship. Having grandparents in your life is really special and if she has the chance to experience that, I highly recommend it.

I hope you decide to keep them in her life now that they have had a chance to be part of it. It will mean so much to them and your daughter can gain a lot from knowing more about that side of her family and where she came from.

I'm sorry that bio-dad doesn't want to have anything to do with her, but if his parents are good people, and aren't going to bring problems into your/her life, it is a good thing that she is getting to know those grandparents. Be sure to notify them when she has programs at school, if they are nearby and would be able to come.... that will be thrilling for her to think that her grandparents are there to watch her!

As a grandma, I can just imagine how it might feel to know you have a grandchild out there and are not able to be in contact with them.

It sounds like at this point that meeting them was a good thing... I agree that maybe bf is just jealous?

this should not be about "who is the babys daddy, and why is he not involved", a child needs grandparents, let the child get to know her fathers parents, its not their fault that her father isnt involved in her life,now i know that her step father isnt thrilled about this but..it might actually encourage his parents to want to get to know the child..cant hurt, right ?
K. h.

You are right, your boyfriend is wrong. Family is important, especially if they are good people. If they are not expecting you to get back with bio-dad, and are just loving family, then it's a positive thing.

You need to discuss this more with your boyfriend to understand why he is upset. He may think this is a sign that you want to get back with bio-dad. If there is some way to reassure him about that, do it. If it's something else and not rational that he's upset about, that's another issue.

If they are nice people, responsible and eager and willing to MAINTAIN and nurture a relationship with your daughter, their granddaughter, I think that's a win-win for all parties involved. How can something that meant so much to your daughter be wrong? The more loving, involved family members there are in a child's life the better. I don't know your situation with the bio dad, but could this possibly open some doors on that end, as well?

I don't understand your sentence about your boyfrined in the house who says you're wrong-who is that? her dad or a new boyfriend?

Good people are good people. If they are good people (though their son, who they raised, apparently has no interest in his child?-red flag) then OK. If they are not stellar people, she is better off investing her time in other people instead. Blood lines are not everything. But again, if you think they would be a valuable addition to her life, not a negative or possibly hurtful one, then great.

I was adopted and have never had any trouble not knowing any biological relations. Just saying. And in my real family (the one I grew up in), I steer clear of the relatives who are bad news. It's very freeing not to be bound by blood and to just choose what sort of people to associate with in your life based on quality. I've always been very thankful not to have the messed up attachment to toxic blood relatives that some people have.

I think it is awesome! You and your daughter's father had problems--and they probably didn't involve your daughter or his parents, so why should they suffer?