Me and my husband have been thinking about letting our daughter stay with his mom and dad for a month in Tn while we stay in Tx. She will be two if we do it will be from the last week in November until we come down for Christmas. They are great with her so that isn't a problem ,me and her lived with them while my husband was deployed. The problem is even tho she has been away from him she has never been away from me for more then over night. It isn't like they can just drive down the road to us if she doesn't do well we will be 17 hours away!!!!!! and if that isn't scary enough they will have to get a sitter for her the 3 days a week my mother in law works in the week. So what would you do is she to little for this? Has anyone let there child be so far away for so long? I just don't know what to do they miss her so much and she misses them also. And they are not pushing for this we haven't asked them yet but we know they would love it we just don't know how she will do without us and us without her. What do you think mommas?
She wouldn't be there a full month without us the month would be with our Christmas time with her also we would get there about a week before Christmas and we would leave with her not long after Christmas and the last week of November we would be there also. And the sitter wouldn't be a stranger. It will most likely be my best friend who has been with her a lot since she was born. And we are thinking about this because we will be looking for a new home in the time, packing and both be try to start school.
A two year old, for one MONTH? On top of that, being with a stranger for nearly half of the time?
No. Freaking. Way. I can't fathom why this is being considered, at all.
I wouldn't even consider this. At two, I couldn't have been away from my daughter for more than one day.
In my opinion, at two years old, a month is too long to be away from both parents. I'm sure the grandparents miss her and she misses them, but think about how much she will miss YOU. I would stick with a family visit at Christmas. When she's a bit older -- perhaps 6 or 7, maybe she can stay for longer, but at two she needs her mom and dad more than her grandparents.
That's too long - and why is it even necessary or being considered? And they would need to get a babysitter 3 times a week? Someone you know nothing about while you are not there? Let the grandparents come visit you guys, or you go to them and stay together. I guess I just don't understand why having a 2 year old gone away from you for a month, especially if the grandparents are not going to be there 100% of the time, is even an option.
I think one month is too long for a 2yo. Sorry. :)
School-age kids, ....absolutely, yes.
But for toddlers, one week is usually the limit for all involved.
No> You are the two most important people in her world. It could be very traumatic for her (and also for you). It could result in behavior issues, sleep issues, potty training issues a,d a regression in attachment (especially since dad has previously been gone). Don't do this to your child, your in-laws or yourself. Go to TN, take a few days romantic vacation with your hubby in the Smokies while she stays with his parentsand go back and pick her up. Or let her stay a few days and then fly out to bring her home. A month is too long, and you'd also miss a lot of the fun of a 2yr old leading up to Christmas.
Anything more than 3-4 days is a no-no, for a about-to-be-2-yr old, IMHO...
Don't do it unless you really have no other choice..
ETA----------------
Hmm....I understand you are in a situation where some time without DD will be of great help...Maybe you can just take a week (3 days before and 3 days after you move, to be exact)? If I were you, that's the maximum I'd go...
I don't know how you could stand to be away from her for a month. She is only two and changing daily. I would be concerned about abandonment issues, having an unknown babysitter three days a week and not being able to get to her without a 17 hour drive.
Why are you considering this? What are the circumstances that you feel you need/want to leave her for that long?
When my husband and i would leave for a night or two and my girls were young I would miss them after about 24 hours. In fact I still miss my big girls if they are away at camp or with friends, I would think you're setting yourself up for a long painful month!
My boys are 16 and 11 and I still won't let them stay with anyone that long...family or otherwise. The longest one has been away has been a week and that as a school function. With your daughter being so young I wouldn't do it. For me it wouldn't just be if she could handle it but think if something were to happen...she is a toddler and they can be accident prone. You have to consider how fast you can get to her if something were to happen. Can you afford last minute plane tickets/rental cars/taxi costs? Will the grandparents have all the info they need if she has to be seen by a dr? Are you will to give them medical power of attorney so if she needs to see a dr during that time they can get her medical care? As for a babysitter are you sure they will be able to find one that would fit YOUR requirements? Are you ready to miss out on the changes that can accur during that time? This list goes on and on.
are you doing something signifigant in this time like moving. starting a new job or something else that would make it really hard for her? If not I'd think a month for a 2 year old after J. having her daddy gone is way too much.
How long has he been home?
How long was he away?
Would he even be willing to part from her after he aleady had to for so long?
i dont get why youre considering this I guess...I mean they would even have a babysitter so half of her time would be with a stranger...when shes older 6+ I'd say go for it...but at 2 shes not going to bennefit from it
I would never but to each their own
I have a 4 y.o. and a 2 y.o. and won't let them stay overnight at GM's house, and we're an hour away. Several hours away? A month? NO WAY!
It is tooooooo long for any young child, let alone a 2 year old. Littles have no sense of time or understanding that Mom will come back. She will feel abandoned and confused!
Go visit for a week with them (or them to you) and split the cost (if that is part of the issue).
She's younger than 2, for a month? No way. Not gonna happen. Unless I was severely sick and unable to take care of my child, I couldn't be away from them for that long. Now, if something major is going on where it would be more traumatic for her not to be with them, that's one thing. But just for a visit - no.
I think a month is too long.
My daughter was 5 years old before she stayed at my brother's overnight. He'd kept her during the day many times before that. She was fine, but I found out the next day that when she laid down to sleep, she cried because she missed me! I imagine a 2 year old would have a harder time.
I think that being away from her parents for a month is way too traumatic for a 2-year-old. She is not old enough to understand why it is happening (which is a good question-why is it happening?). I wouldn't even let school-age children be away from me for a month, much less a toddler. I'd say plan a shorter visit or go with her! She needs you!
I stayed with my parents during summer months from the time I was very little, but you have a sitter also to consider.....so I do not know, might be too much . I do not think I can make it without seeing my kids for a whole month.
I would have no problem with the distance or time frame of her staying. Having to get a sitter is a little bit of a hiccup, but if it is someone she knows, then she should be fine. The problem I see is that your daughter has never spent more than one night away from you. Two weeks will be a big adjustment and with your in laws being that far away, it could turn into a big mess. If she was more comfortable staying with them for longer stretches of time, I would say go for it.
My son has been staying overnight with my parents (6 hours away) since he was a baby. I had daycare issues right off the bat, so he was with them for a week at 3 weeks old while I had to go back to work. He is frequently staying with them for a week or two at a time, just most recently last month. The longest he has been with them without me was three weeks. He was fine.
You know your child best, but I think that is too long. My son has slept over by himself at my parents house 2 times. He is 4. The first time was just 1 night and that was ok. The second time was 2 nights and on the third day he was crying asking to go home. At the age of two, you can't reason with them!
I think 2 years old is too young for such an extended stay without you. I couldn't do that, personally.
I personally think she is a little young for a whole month... but maybe 2 weeks to try it out?
Reading your update, I would especially not do it. That is a lot of change for such a little person.
I think it is too long. I left my 2 year old with my parents for a week and the last w days she was asking about me every night. A month is a long time for a 2 year old to understand that mom is coming back. Just my 2 cents. Some kids might do better.....who knows. Getting a babysitter is tough too. I will feel funny about that.
If it was just the grandparents, I'd be fine with it. This would give them a chance to work it out, and it sounds like they feel confident they could.
That said, I really wouldn't want my child with a sitter I didn't know. That would nix it for me.
Oops. Rereading it I caught the "Month". Hmmm.... I think that I'd likely prefer to bring Kiddo along!
So really... It 2 weeks with the Gs, and then 2 weeks as a family?
My family did that all the time while my mum househunted every other year (military, she'd come up with us for a week, leave for 2 weeks, then come back for the last month of summer). I don't remember myself the first time, but my bros and sisters were that little. As kids, we always had a grand time.
As a mom, I left my son with my parents for 10 days on several occasions while traveling. The first 2-3 days are HARD. By the end I "didn't" want to come back!! (Not really!! It's just that I'd finally gotten a) comfy with the arrangement and how happy he was, b) gotten some real sleep, and c) just wanted 2 or 3 more days to make up for the first bit where I was -always- in knots!!! LOL :)
As for my son? He's loved his adventures with Nonna & Papa as much as we did when we were kids, and is VERY close with them. It's been a great thing for all of us. Similarly, he's been watched a few times while there by other people I know, love, and trust. My mums best friend, his aunts/uncles, same as we were.
That would be pretty scary for a young toddler. She won't understand all the shuffling around. Just have your parents get on Skype if they miss her so much.
Even if you are looking for a home during this time and school, etc., don't put her needs aside.
