Letting Go 1St Child Going to School All Day

I couldn't deal with all the possible things that could go wrong. That's why I homeschooled the older girls and why I still homeschool the youngest one. I wish I could tell you how to overcome the fears. I still feel anxiety for my oldest daughters that are not living in the home. I hate it when we go even a few days without talking.

Suzi

S., I cried when my oldest started Kindgergarten and I taught at the school she attended...it is anxiety that he is growing up...we all fear that they will be so independent that they won't need us anymore, but don't worry, he will always come back to you.

Don't worry about him wanting to play. Play is how kids learn. In kindergarten he won't have much homework, since he'll be in structured play and learning all day, let him come home and enjoy his siblings and you. He'll still be learning, he just won't realize it. Enjoy his time away by bonding more with your two who are still at home. After a few weeks you'll realize that you and he will survive just fine. Do become involved with the school, it will be hard with two still at home, but you should be able to help out with parties and such. I had childcare at home when both of mine were in school and still brought the kiddos to school with me for parties and book fairs and such. Hope this helps some...Good luck and God Bless.

Good Morning S., Ruth gave you some excellent information. Learning needs to be more fun the work!! Made up silly songs, about colors, shapes or Mr. ABC built a letter park. There are chores that can help you teach him to earn money. Helping with trash pick up, sweeping a small area, maybe helping dad rake mowed grass. These are extra chores not the main things we want our children to do as part of a family.

Mark a calendar and have a count down to the first day of school, ask him what he is excited about being a big boy in Kindergarten. Is he excited about making new friends and seeing old friends from Pre-School?

Yeah it's hard to let go, but you have done your job and prepared him to Spread his little wings and fly. You will go through the same things (thoughts, feelings, fears) with each of your little ones. This is only one way they can learn their independence, also keeping in mind they are becoming more secure in who they are. (they don't know this but we as parents and gr parents do)

Yes I home schooled our boys from 6th & 8th grade as they had learning gaps and wasn't getting the support they needed. If a math concept wasn't understood, they still moved on to the next area, they weren't going to keep teaching that area of Math for one or two kids that couldn't get it. They excelled when I took more time with them, they learned math through baking, building bird houses etc.. Oldest is now a Journey Man Electrician, Youngest is in the Construction field.

Most Kindergartners won't have homework per-say, they may have fun sheets to practice on. Tracing, cutting, gluing etc. In my gr kids school they brought home packets on Thursdays with the weeks work sheets for the parents to see, area's they may need extra encouragement on.
I'm sure when he was in Preschool you talked about what he did in school and what he learned that day. Keep the communications open, be interested in his day, ask to see what he made or learned if he brought home papers.
It's a growing time for both of you.

God Bless you S., it will get easier each day.
K. Nana of 5

I am a mother of 2 boys (grown with families) and 2 girls ages 16 and 18. I believe children need the freedom to play and exercise and not be burdened with school work at home after they have been subjected to several hours of structured education. Give him a simple chore to do, to teach responsibility, incorporate counting, reading, sentence structure into his playtime with you and the other children. Such as songs, bedtime stories etc. You really have nothing to worry about. Young children do not have a long attention span.

S., It sounds like your son is a very normal kiddo. I understand the letting them out of your sight part. My kids ride the bus, the bus stop is right across the street from our house. One day when my son was in kindergarten and the only kiddo getting on the bus at our stop I had to step away from watching him at the door to grab a crying baby. In the short time I was away from the door the bus came and got him and they were on there way. I didn't actually see the bus or him getting on so I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I just couldn't wait until school was over to make sure he was OK, I called the school, the secretary called his classroom for me to confirm that he was in class. All was well. I share this just to let you know that we all worry, it's our job, but everything will be fine.

We have trouble sitting down and doing book work at home, but if we get out an educational board game my son is all for it. There are things like alphabet bingo and math bingo and you can make your own rules and make them more challenging.

Good Luck, M.

S.....you are not the first one to go through this with your oldest child...I barely managed to keep it together until I got out of the my oldest daughters kindergarten class on the first day!! She was so excited...and I was so excited for her...but the thought of leaving my "baby" in a strangers charge for the day just broke my heart.
But....it isn't something you can avoid so you need to just have the mindset that this is the first of many building blocks in your childs life and your job is to prepare them for each step as they go.
I am a little worried about your statement that "all he wants to do is play"....S....play is how they learn!!! Incorporate learning experiences into their play...talk about the colors of the blocks he is playing with or how many trucks are in his sandbox. He doesnt' want to sit down at a desk and just go through an "educational book"....talk to him everyday about what he is seeing and doing....he is like a little sponge...he will soak up that information. Play is also how they learn to interact with others and learn the "rules of engagement" for being around other people. Don't try to make life all about "learning"....let "learning" just be a part of his life!!!
Good luck on the first day of school....you WILL survive this!!!
R. Ann

Teachers are usually in their classrooms getting them set up a few days prior to school starting. Call the school, and ask if you can meet with the teacher (with or without your child). Express your concerns with her, you are not the first mom with separation issues. It is very common, especially with the first child. Keep the lines of communication open with the teacher. Drop her notes if you have concerns. Ask if you can volunteer in the classroom. Get involved in the school. You will soon see that your child is in a safe, nuturing environment, and he loves it!!

Hi S.,

Everything will be OK, mom....I went through that phase as well. Yes, it is a phase that many, many moms have to live and take it in the best way. I am homeschooling my older child now, but he went to K, and he enjoyed it. I felt sad and happy at the same time, and I was having the same feelings that you are having right now. S., it is NORMAL to feel that way and it WILL PASS, believe me....
It is also normal that he just want to play, but teachers in K know how to handle this age, and activities, and academics are really fun in K, so I do believe he will be OK. I remember that before school started, I talked to my child about the positive things he will experience at school in K like new friends, new things to learn and sharing all those he already knew, recess, lunch, etc. we went together the special day to meet his teacher and his classroom. I can tell he had a wonderful teacher in K and he remembers her until these days.
The best way to make yourself calmer and in peace with yourself is, first, show your child that he will be fine, do not transfer your anguish or fear, try to be happy (I do know is hard!), prepare his lunch box together the first day (whatever you decide to do, box lunch or having it at school); prepare his clothes the day before, and may be let him to take a stuffed animal or favorite toy to school (I think is allowed). Make this a very special moment! It is special!
Also try to keep a good communication with his teacher, and if you can think of something to be involved in any activity in his classroom do it.... If you are unable to do it, just send little things that may help the classroom and the teacher (sanitizer, stickers, tissue..etc)so your kid sees you are interested in what is happening at school (I believe this gives the children some kind of reassurance). Check his progress and if you have any concern always, always talk to his teacher. Keep teaching him math or writing or reading BY PLAYING with him at home, but do not overdue, let him be a kid...Have fun together.
Be happy and share this special moment with your son. Encourage him to learn in a fun way and be open to the real world. I suggest you that you always keep an open communication with your child so he feels confident in telling you everything: his feelings, his experiences at school, his joys, his fears....
Good luck..everything will be fine....!!!!

Alejandra

You got so many good answers and I agree that play is learning for children and talk, question, teach while doing everyday things. Ask about his day and be specific.
And just wait until the first one gets married. It is never easy to let go but I think of it as adding a member to the family and that helped and is true. Just being a mother is ongoing letting go. And now with the grandchildren. Never ends. Learn early how to let go but still be there involved.

We homeschool using child-directed methods. Sometimes that includes workbooks, etc. But usually it's more hands-on, real-life lessons.

K.