Letter Frm His Peers.

Kids are going to tease and pick. I've been through the same kind of issues with my son who is 14 now. He was always the smart one in class so he got picked on a lot. I just tried to teach him to let things bounce right off. He knows he's not "insert name he was called" and he knows he's a great person, so chances are the other person was just jealous or having a bad day that day. So far my 14 year old is pretty well adjusted and still makes the honor roll despite having been teased at an earlier age. Overall he's a pretty good kid. (he's a teenager so not perfect by no means :)

Children are cruel and names can hurt. But Jackson can not let another child dictate where he goes to school or how he handles the situation. My advice is to push Jackson to hold his head up high and try to keep it in perspective (I know he is only 9, but what better time than now). How he handles this situation can and will be a learning experience. Don't allow him to run away from his problems. Encourage him to stay strong and be better than this child with a foul mouth and bad attitude. If it makes you feel better talk to the teacher, I am sure you will find that the obscene child has had encounters with other children as well, not just your son. Of course you want to protect your son, what mother doesn't but sometimes you have to let you son fight his own battles and not let him run away.
I know it is easy to give advise until it happens to my own. I hope this helps.

Not to be insensitive but... did you ask your son if he was a ***** that day? Maybe his peers are trying to tell him something. It's better to learn early that people don't like *****. School is (unfortunately at times) the dress rehearsal for life. Help your son face the situation and deal with it. If he knows who sent it maybe you could call the parent/s and set up a "playdate" to work things out. Another lesson (my 4 year old ) learned at dance class is that some kids are ***** and we know that some adults will be too. Some times it's best to write certain peers off at any age (after a noble effort to work it out and coming to the realization that some people will be jerks no matter what one does/says). Good luck. It really sucks that kids have to learn things so early now.

Also, please don't turn this into a dog and pony show dragging principal, administrators, and other parents in as suggested by another member. This is something that your son and perhaps his teacher (and you) could work out. He wasn't threatened just informed of another kids feelings albeit through inappropriate language.

I also have a 9 year old (daughter). It seems this is now the age for these type of things to enter our children's lives. My daughter has had her share of being picked on this year as well. I believe they are old enough now to learn that life, including clasmates, is not always fair. Let him know that not everyone will like the same things that he does and some people may be mean because of it and that just means that they are not really good friends anyways. Transfering schools would be a huge mistake for something like this. That will only teach him that he can just run away from all his problems in life. Help him find some positive coping skills, especially something that helps builds confidence. This is just the start of a lot of disappointments he will have in life and he needs to know how to get past them and be a stronger person.

Talk to his teacher, see if she has any ideas. Schools are really going after bullys now and should not put up with that. He needs to learn to deal with mean people, and transfering schools probably will not solve the problem. Telling him that its the kid who wrote the notes problem and not his fault may also help. Kids are mean to eachother, I remember how hard school was, but you can't fight their
battles for them. its really hard! good luck

Hi
Kids can be cruel at times. While I am unsure why Jackson would be considered obsene, the best advise I have heard is if approached, your son should have a comeback such as "yeah, I've heard that b4, have you heard Jackson is also a prominate name?"

Something that pokes fun at himself or makes him looked at in a better light. Something like that really takes the fun out of it for the kid who wants to hurt or be little others. He should comeback with a response that is projected towards himself. Shows strength and courage.

S.

Reassure him that, as you said, the year is almost over. Kids will have problems with other kids, no matter how “nice” or “popular” the child is. If he’s been treated well all year, I wouldn’t worry too much about this one incident. If you notice a big change in his personality, then talk to the school about counseling. They should have a child therapist assigned to the school district. He/She will be able to asses your son to see if he (or the child the letter came from) should seek further intervention. Most of all, let him talk about it and remind him that he is GOOD & SMART! He will be fine. ~J

Hi T.,

No matter what school your son goes to, there will be mean kids there. Kids this age are starting to feel insecure, and they get a sense of power in hurting other kids. I would research the reasons behind children's bullying and share your findings with your son, so he can see that it is not only him that is going through this. Let him know that the school years can be hard, but if he behaves like a good friend, he will find some good friends he can count on, and they can help support each other through these instances.

Hi T.
One of my sons is 10, but in the 4 th grade. We have gone through the same thing. I have been in to talk to the teacher so many times this year. Now I am not blaming my sons teacher because she is wonderful and always handles the situation. I thought it was because my son is High functioning PDD-NOS, so he is a little different. Still a very sweet boy not aggressive at all. Then I was on a field trip and was talking to other moms. These other moms have had to go down to the school, also. Not all the same kids have been in trouble for calling names. We(moms) agreed that this has been a very cruel year. I also am concerned my son won't want to go to school next year. Our school tops out at 4th. Fifth thru Eighth are at a different site.
Good Luck!
K. F

It sounds like you may need to bring this to the attention of the teacher. The teacher will know who wrote it. The teacher could have a little chat with the other child, leaving your child out of it. She(the teacher) will know what to do to handle this. This should not go unnoticed.
Best of luck
T.

This is a very tough and difficult situation. My son has been picked on since 1st grade. Called names and even physically hurt. We have done the school counseling thing and to be honest, they don't have the time for that. They told me I had to take my son to see a psychiatrist. We have told our son countless times to stay away from these kids but for some reason they are still drawn to them, like some sort of acceptance if they hang around them. You know, at first I was the type of mom who kept quiet and told me son to deal with it, ignore it, be better them. But the latest incident almost got him suspended. Why you say? Because my quiet, keep to himself, brush it off kid got so fed up with it he almost started a fight. But the very people who I thought were protecting him, principal, administration did not protect him. My son's life was threatened. It started out with the name calling (some of the obscene). We blew it off and told him to ignore it. But you know what, it may work for some and not for others. Not for my son at least. Even though my son was trying to protect himself, my son was the one up for suspension not the kid telling him that he was going to find out where he lived and come and stab him. I understand how some can say just teach them to walk away, ignore, teach them to be tougher. But for some it doesn't work that way. It didn't for my son. At my son's school, one boy had in house suspension for calling another kid a Mother bleep. I am sure you can fill in the other word. Another kid got expelled for drawing graphic pictures of nude adults. These kids are the same age as my son 10!!! I have talked to teachers but their hands are tied. Talking to parents may not help either. We were told that if we confronted the one father that he gets very confrontational and they didn't want to see that happen. Yes, we went to the principal and administration. We didn't regret it. I found out that so much stuff is swept under the rug that as parents we do not know about. This is a very tough call what we did. But the little stuff, name calling, etc. has escalated over the years. When do we as parents finally have to step in to protect our children. Next year, the school is doing what is called a 2-step program and the whole school is going to do it. It talks about bullying, social skills, tolerance, etc. Plus they are pulling in a few boys at a time to talk to them about my son with my son in the office. I guess this is better than him being suspended for defending himself. Again, this is very tough and nobody likes to have their children picked on. I think the call is up to the parent and only the parent knows when is enough for their child and when the parent needs to step in and get the school involved.

You must work through this, get to the bottom of that letter, believe me I know about letters and meeting and most of all- doing it ALL as a single mom!
Don't transfer schools EVER in the middle or end of the year~ I did this many times when my son was in kinder then again in 1st, and he was retained because all this records were everywhere and they weren't really sure if his maturity was at level grade.
Getting unknown letters like this is just the beginning- once you get to the bottom of this and let the school be aware that you are not leaving that easily, they will give up.
My son is now 7 going on 20 :) and he will be the first to tell me, "thank you mommy for letting me stay in my school" This is not the end of the world, this is the just the beginning of some "school issues" Good luck and stay focused to get to the BOTTOM LINE!