Legal Separation

Hey C.. I'm so very sorry! I used to work for a divorce attorney in Litchfield County. Connecticut doesn't recognize the type of "abandonment" that Kay mentioned so if you have to go, go with no worries in that respect. As Kay said, get in touch with a lawyer. I can recommend several....feel free to pm me. With respect to a legal separation, the process in this state is exactly the same as a divorce so aside from financial and or tax reasons, there's no point going through all that without ending up divorced IMHO. The process isn't cheap and though it can be done without an attorney, it isn't recommended for people with children.

Hello, Im sorry you are going through this but my advise don't leave it will be held against you. Do it all the right way if you are in NY you can call the legal aid society where you can call and ask questions###-###-####, is a free service.
There's also NY lawyers for public interest ###-###-####. Is best that you get all you questions answered if there is domestic violence than you have to go that route there is a #800-621-hope.
You have to provide your children with a good environment this means given them a good positive upbringing so that they can be good non dependent individuals. Kids learn all that they see we are their teachers.
You are to gain more by staying than by leaving you stucked it out already get yourself prepare.....
good luck I hope this helped in any way, have faith in God he helps us in our deepest moments of need.
The faster you get the info the better for you to resolve this matter.
good luck, God Bless
G.

The best advice I can give you is to look for an attorney in your area and get his or her opinion. Before you commit to an attorney make sure you feel really comfortable with their process and the way they want to proceed. Don't feel pressured into anything you're not comfortable with. Only an attorney can give you the best advice. About moving out...My attorney had told me not to move out because the children shouldn't be put out of their homes. This is a very difficult decision. Good luck and God bless. I wish you the very best.

I went through a similar situation when I was in the process of getting my divorce 3 years ago. In my case my husband was the one that left. But there is no reason at all that you should be penalized for leaving with your kids. If you leave and then you take care of all the legal stuff later nothing will be held against you. But just to be safe you should try to go to legal aid and ask one of the lawyers if you leave will that be held against you in the future. But from my experience it will not be held against you. Good luck I hope everything goes well.

Hi. I looked into that about a year ago, when I we were going throuhg a really rough time. I had my husband move out and we started counseling. He made the commitment to get sober and I made the commitment to wait through that process. It has been hard. (He lived at another residence for about 7 months.) Sometimes so hard I wanted to leave everything behind. I am so happy we are still together and love each other more each day. Our relationship is at a new level and it really helped to be apart and do the counseling. It made us work on ourselves and then take that work into the marriage. We both go individually and continue to work on self first. I would have jsut divorced him with how bad things had gotten in our house over a year ago, but it felt wrong. I knew I would always have to deal with him when it came to the kids and I didnt want to be alone my whole life, but I wouldnt want a step parent involved with my kids either. Too much relationship hassles. I looked into legal seperation and there is no such thing recognized in NJ. It was better to have a candid conversation and tell him I just couldnt live with him anymore. He knew it was time or that I may seriously consider divorce. Our pastor talked to us individually and convinced to go to the counselor. The time apart took alot of the problems away right away and I found I had time to really look and see what I wanted for my life and for my kids. It was the best thing I ever did.

Dear C., I can't give you a specific advise on legal separation unfortunately, I wanted to let you know though, that I think you are very brave and smart! Get a good lawyer to help you go through this. All the best - take care for yourself and your children.
Joanna

hey C.,

I totaly feel for you, kinda in the same boat. 3 kids work full time and husband does'nt help for nothing and curses all day at me. hope you get help. good luck

Hi C.,
Sorry to hear that you are in this situation. I have been divorced and have now remarried. I am a little familiar with what you are going through. I do know that if you leave without his knowledge you could be charged or used against you in the divorce with Abandoment. You need to go by the book to protect you and your children. Your husband needs to be told and you should seek council.If you feel you can't do this on your own seek family members to come stay with you while you vacate your home or if it's a case where you feel threatened have the children stay with family and contact your local precinct to have a police car standby while you collect your belongings. By doing things the right way he will have nothing to use against you in the long run.One last thing thing if you feel your husband will give you a problem with supporting your children, immediately do not wait go to your local Family court to file child support papers, your first child is entitled to 17% and I think the 2nd 15% of his earnings. Every little extra helps when you are on your own, don't be proud, it is their right(Your Children).I hope this was helpful to you and I wish you Good Luck...C.

Hi there,

It's not easy. There is no reason for you to stay while it takes time. Go. Find a place of your own, file the papers and go. The only thing that will be hard; will be custody. If he's abusive in anyway it will be easier. But if your unhappy but feel he's a good dad (sounds like you don't) the custody will be shared, BUT because you are leaving him and wanting him to not be around the children you will have to prove he's not a good influence on them. Yes, get a lawyer or call 211. It's a free service in CT that will help direct you to agencies that are low cost or even free to help.

Get a much "documentation" as possible, from now on if you have not already started. Know and understand that doing this is in the best interest of your children. A happy mommy is a good mommy. I went through all of this and it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but keep looking, it's there. If you want to talk to me you can e-mail me directy ____@____.com

God Bless and Good luck!
L.

I don't know what to tell you as far as legal separation I live in PA and had to wait 2 years before I could even file for divorce. I was in a very abusive situation for 7 years and have 3 children I ran away to shelters but always went back home the same day out of fear and guilt (that someone was going to need to be there more than me) I finally got the courage to leave but only because I had a part time job and this gentleman I took care of was a undercover police officer and took notice of what everyone else ignored, he saved my life. It has been a little over three years since then and my husband refuses to divorce me and wants custody of our three daughters, he has also moved out of state since then. My best advice to you is make a plan to leave and stick to it, no matter how hard it seems, you can do it. Ask for help, someone will help, and it maybe a very unexpected source, and most important believe in yourself because you are your children s hero, they will understand, maybe not immediately but they will. Good luck to you.

You may leave before the legal stuff but I will tell you to do the legal stuff the same day. We need to go back to the basics, 9/10's of the law is ownership. The same day that you leave your husband, you need to go to the courthouse in the county you live in to file for custody of your children. If you do not do this, then n return to you leaving him, he may go to the courthouse and file for custody. In the beginning of any child custody case, it is usually given temp. to the parent that files first. Plus if he is abusive to you or the kids, you may want proof. If you dont have any where to go then you should really start the law stuff before leaving. With you leaving it is giving him the upper hand to the possessions that you two jointly own. When you file for cusody if needed you can have him removed so you can remain with your kids in the house. The court usually does this due to it be better for the kids during a difficult time and also it is easier for one to relocate then three.

I want to just pick up and leave, but that won't happen when he is home. Can I just leave with my 2 children and then go through the legal stuff or is that going to be held against me some how?

I am not sure, but I think if you leave the house it can be considered abandonment. I hope everything works out, I have a good friend going through the same thing right now ((( C. )))

Hi....all i can say is that if the situation is abusive run girl run. go to the cops wherever you live and report it IMMEDIATELY. i was in the same situation for years and i finally realized 6 years ago nothing was going to change. gave him to many chances. i had him escorted out of the house and he's never been back since, court orders. if its not an abusive situation, then consult counsel before you leave. do not jepordize yours or your childrens lives for someone that is not worthy of you. good luck girl and may God keep you and your children safe.......