Leg Shaving...what's Your Opinion?

Updated on April 09, 2010
J.F. asks from Oregon, OH
24 answers

My daughter is 9 1/2. She is going through obvious early puberty changes...boobs budding, serious body odor, hormonal issues. She has very thick hair, although it is blonde. Last summer, she made a comment on how hairy her legs were and when would she be old enough to shave them. I told her we would talk more about it next spring...meaning now. Well, she's brought it up again. She says it feels gross to have all that hair on her legs and wants to get rid of it before the kids start making fun of her. I asked her if anyone had said anything to her and she said no, but they've said things to other girls (a couple who have darker hair). Her's is not really noticable unless you're close to her, but once she starts to get outside more and get some color on her skin, it becomes VERY obvious. I have talked with my husband about it and he says its up to me and whatever I decide is fine. I was like 11 when I started shaving, but that is also when I started all of the other changes too. I'm thinking she's developing faster than I did. How old were you when you started shaving? What about your daughter? Any thoughts? I've already talked with her about how she'd have to do it all the time or it would get poky (using dadys 5 o'clock shadow as an example) and if she was poky, the other kids would surely make fun if they felt it.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

She is growing up mom! Her self esteem and confidence is SO important now because she is about to go through a tough part of her life with all the changes.

Please, let he shave.... If it is bothering her....it is already dealing a blow to her self-esteem

My daughter was around 10 when she started shaving. She is 15 now.

I do anything I can to help my daughter maintain her self confidence. Middle and high school kids are brutal when they find something to tease about. It is awful to see things they say on websites and in front of each other regarding weight gain, size of a girl's breasts, acne. I am SO glad I am done with high school

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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M.S.

answers from Appleton on

My grandfather would not let my mom shave until she was 16 years old. She has horror stories about wearing black tights all the time, and hating dresses, never wearing shorts, etc. because of it. So she "vowed" to let my sister and I start shaving whenever we asked her. I started at age 10 I believe.
My suggestion though would be to try "Veet". It's like a foam you put on and use a plastic thing (looks like a razor but has no blades) that takes the hair off with the cream. It can be a bit messy but is much safer than shaving. Otherwise, maybe you can have her start taking a bath (this is how my mom did it) once every week or two and you can sit on the edge and help her shave for the first few months. I found it is MUCH more easy to shave it the bathtub vs. the shower.
I hope all the suggestions help!!!

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'd do the smooth-away or electric razor to avoid her cutting herself. I have dark hair, so I can't speak to this directly, but you can't avoid the fact that her body is maturing, so you might as well make the journey with her. The fact that she's asking you is great, and a nice way to stay involved. Maybe hit the library for books on puberty and helping to communicate the experience to her. I think it's nice that other cultures have "coming of age" ceremonies - perhaps you can turn some of her puberty experiences into that kind of thing - a celebration. Take care :)

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J.F.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter started asking about shaving her legs at 10 and we decided she coud try the Smooth Away pads. They are like a gentle sandpaper and rub the hair right off. You apply lotion afterward and then the legs are softer than you'd think possible. My daughter's hair is also blonde- and the regrowth happens very slowly and gradually. This works really well for my daughter and saves me the worry of her cutting herself. Just be sure she doesn't try it under her arms- my daughter did without my knowing and came out of the bathroom with wetwashcloths under her arms ouch!

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J.R.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter is 10 now, and she started shaving her legs last summer (shortly before her 10th birthday). Much like your daughter, her hair was blonde, but fairly long/thick, and it was pretty noticeable in the sunlight.

Regarding the 'poky' thing, my daughter (surprisingly) doesn't have to shave all the time. I'm sure that's coming, but right now her hair grows back pretty soft. She shaved every few weeks during the summer, and hardly at all during the winter.

I hope this is helpful. Our babies are growing up!!

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A.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My DD is almost 8 (July 3), and I am terrified of beginning to have these issues. I developed late, didn't have my first period until I was 13 and a freshman in high school. I was blonde with very light hair. I didn't even consider shaving for a long time. I was probably a little over 13 when I started shaving. However, my cousin had very dark hair. Her body hair was very thick and very noticeable. She became self-conscious much earlier than I did. With assistance from her mother, she began using an electric razor around 9 or 10. I believe if my aunt had not helped her, she would have done it behind her back.
In the end, I don't believe there is a certain age that we can say yes it is now appropriate. Girls mature at such different rates. None of them are the same. If you feel your daughter is mature enough and can handle this responsibility (although for a short period of time it will seem like such a big privilege to her), then go ahead and let her. At the end of the day, you must do what feels right for you and your DD.
Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think leg-shaving falls under the same category as using deodorant (which is a completely different category than using make-up!) It is not about how old the child is, but whether it is necessary or contributes to a child's self-esteem (or the reverse). Let your daughter shave if she wants to! If she gets teased for her leg-hair, you'll feel just awful, and leave it up to her how often she decides to do it. There are still plenty of milestones you can put off until she's older, but this one is a relatively minor thing that will make her feel more comfortable in her own skin.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

That seems so young to me. I was in the 6th grade and it was the firsts boy/girl dance. I know that you have told her about the 5 o'clock shadow, but also let her know (if you let her) that she doesn't have to shave every day and the less she shaves, the slower the hair will grow. Maybe have her start with once a month? I also think that at 9.5 I wouldn't want her having a razor, so an electric might be a better option.

I would talk to her and make sure that she is doing it for the right reasons. Not peer pressure.

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N.M.

answers from Medford on

There is a sort of rubbing paper or sand paper that removes hair. I have seen it advertised on tv. I remember using it on my legs when I was younger and it was nicer than shaving at that age. Also, different people love or hate epiladys - I love mine in part because I nick really easily.

If she is ready then it is probably ok. I would be sure to make sure she is not overly concerned with what other people think of her. She may not like the hair, but there is a lot of pressure out there for kids to deal with. That is point that I would inquire on more deeply, how is she being effected by other people's opinion and is she in general overly critical of people's physical traits?

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I was in 5th grade when a boy told me my legs were hairy so I shaved without permission. If you tell her no she might do the same thing and shave behind your back. Maybe use hair clippers and just cut the hair off so it still stays soft for a while since it is blonde. This is what I do for my arm hair. It stays soft but gets rid of the hair.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

They are old enough when it becomes an issue for them. Let her do it. Of course there are other products out there. But look into alternatives and let her decide. Waxing is painful but may have longer results since she is still young.

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Since it's clearly bothering her, and if it was my daughter, I'd let her go ahead and start shaving. It's not like she's only doing it to look good for the boys, you know? It's her self esteem at stake... and at that age, it's a really big deal not to get bullied for things like that. Best wishes!

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

My daughter is almost 8 and has already begun asking. Her hair is not TOO dark but she has very hairy legs. Things happen so much quicker now ... well, now that I think about it, I was in the 3rd grade when I started shaving without my Mom knowing. My daughter will be going into the 3rd grade in August. I think I'll let her .......

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N.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

I was 9 1/2 when I started shaving. I went to my mom and asked her about shaving my legs and her response was that when I needed to start shaving my underarms, I could start shaving my legs. I lifted my arm and and asked if that was what she meant (I had a little growth). We were in the bathroom within the hour and she taught me how to do it all. Good luck!

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

I don't have a daughter so my opinion is obviously not going to be as relevant as the other moms. I shaved at 11 also, but had thick dark hair and pale skin. But I agree that this isn't the same thing as makeup. It can definitely affect her self esteem. And as far as giving in to peer pressure- Isn't that why we all shave? What other reason is there really for doing it? Yes, kids are too mature these days but that isn't their fault, and they shouldn't be "punished" for that fact. That is how I looked at it when I couldnt' shave and do things I wanted to, as a kind of punishment because HER mom wouldn't let her do it. Just because my mom did something at a certain time didn't mean it was relevant to my current situation. My mom was very odd about things like this sometimes, and really, it just made me feel like I couldn't come to her about concerns about my body. When she put her foot down on shaving and using acne facewash and no tampons, I felt like she would never listen to me about things like that, and so I stopped coming to her. I would rather have my daughter (if I ever have one) come to me and let me help her to find an appropriate solution for whatever her problem is, instead of going by the ads in magazines and articles that weren't necessarily appropriate. I certainly don't think parents should give in on any little thing to their kids, and this is definitely a good time to have conversations about self esteem. But I don't think encouraging self esteem requires withholding things like shaving to make them stronger. Just my two cents, I hope it helps.

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S.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I am for letting girls have a childhood as long as possible. Is adulthood so great that we have to push them into it as soon as possible?
You are right, having to do it often will get old pretty quick.
Now, if we could just get kids to mind their manners and keep their remarks to themselves, and treat each other like they would like to be treated!

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A.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi J.,

I haven't yet read the responses you've received, but my almost 9 year old daughter and myself have also been discussing this. Sounds as thought your daughters leg hair is more obvious than my daughters is though.

When the leg hair is more of a problem for us, like what you seem to be experiencing, I plan on def discussing to her that once you start, it doesn't stay soft all the time, and it is upkeep. But most importantly- we will be using an ELECTRIC razor. I am not going to discuss the SOFT leg shave that we women look for. Our children are just wanting to get rid of excess hair. And I totally understand that- since it was also my story- (when I was also more like 11.) But you know how cruel children already are.

Let us know what you decide.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

yes, let her start shaving. Age is not so important as when the changes occur. I started off with a rechargable electric shaver. Very safe and easy.

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I was about 12 when all that stuff started to happen to me, but my mom refused to let me shave, because "I was blonde and it wasn't noticeable". It was to me, and it was to my classmates that made comments. So because she wouldn't teach me, one day before we went to a water park I went into the bathroom and tried it on my own. I went straight up the shin bone, cutting skin all along the way. I finished the rest and went to the waterpark. My mom asked if I was happy now (because it was something she dreaded doing and felt that I would come to dread it as well- hence the wanting me to wait). I was a little embarrassed about my shins, but after it healed I started shaving regularly and have not had a problem since. I dont see a problem with it.

Also on a side note, I am not sure how well those crystal pads work from tv, but if it does, that might be a good compromise.

good luck!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

My youngest starting shaving her legs at age 9. My oldest started at 11. I don't think there's any magic age, it's just when the child is ready.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I started when I was 9. Similar early development.

One of the nice things about the whole process... is that in the beginning most people really DON'T have to shave every day. It takes some time before the hair starts growing fast enough to require daily shaving. I'd stay smooth for 2-3 days that first year before the prickles would start.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

If she wants to do something about her leg hair, then I would try to find a way to let her. Although, I would give her alternatives to shaving. I know that most of the cream removers (Nair, etc) don't work all that well.. and are FULL of chemicals, but I'm sure if you do some research you can find something that you would be okay with her using every few weeks. The creams will keep her from having the stubble that comes from shaving. As long as it reduces her leg hairs during the warmer months, that is all she really needs, right?

Good luck and let us know what happens... I have an almost 9 yr old with blond hair myself. She isn't hitting puberty yet.. but I know it will not be as far off as I want it to be... lol.

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S.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I am a blonde but I was a hairy kid too! I started shaving when I was 10. My mom bought me a battery-powered electric razor. I seem to remember that it was small and pink so I'm sure it was designed for a younger girl to use. You can teach her to use a razor when she's older.

I agree that this is in the same category as using deodorant. She's becoming a woman and it's inevitable that she's going to start shaving so I don't see the harm in starting now before she feels any embarrassment about her body.

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