Leaving Town for 6 Weeks

Get a webcam and have MSN video chats with them. Works wonders because you schedule 'one on one' time with them.

I think you should sit and listen to her. Maybe there is something underlying going on. If not then may I suggest some mom and daughter time before and after. I would take the afternoon and spend with just her and undevoted attention.
Also tell her you will send her something special while away and when she gets it you will call and open it together.
Let her know sometimes choices like this are hard to make and you feel like you can depend on her to help fill in while your gone and be compensated for it.
Seperation axiety is so hard at any age. Good luck

I would HIGHLY suggest not leaving your family for 6 weeks! If I was 12 years old, I would have hard time if my mom was leavin me for 6 weeks. No job in this world is worth being away for your little ones for that long and missing out on so much. There is absolutely nothing that could ever keep me away from my husband and children for that long at such young ages. Can your work send someone else who does not have children? Consider what this will do to your kiddos, not what it will do to your boss/job. Some things are just way more important and precious. Why be a mom if you are not going to be around to do the job of being a mom?

My husband travels a lot for work. Lots of phone calls. They like pictures of him in their rooms. Hope it works out well for you.

L.

Do you have a computer that allows for video conferencing? If not, get one or get the auxiliary stuff to do it. My macbook has it built in. Seeing you face to face every night will help her feel connected to you. That's what you want! Skype is a free service that will facilitate video calls, FYI, as will ICHAT on Mac.

Good luck and safe travels. Regarding the negative posters...that is THEIR choice to stay home. Sometimes working ISN'T an option. Children WILL survive if you find ways to stay emotionally connected to them. Children need to also realize that their parents have to live their lives too. If you love your child, as I'm sure you do, little will break that bond. When you return, be sure to plan special time with her so she knows even if you go away, you'll be back and that you love her.

Here are a couple of ideas I thought of to try and help you; one I would make sure if possible that she has a way to contact you daily on HER schedule (as I know this is not always possible with work schedules, if she feels like she has the ability and choice it might staive some of the anxiety), second and this one will be time consuming and creative, but what about buying a box of notecards different shapes, sizes, colors, etc. - one for each day you are gone- and then write her a little notes, or encouragement, or piece of advice for that day, if she has an event you are going to miss a "good luck", etc, etc, and then either date each one and leave them for Dad to pass out or put them in strategic places for her to find. I hope these help some. And I pray you have a safe trip to return to your family.

I would try the webcam, email, lots of phone calls, and maybe if you can come up with something special that you and the 12 year old can look forward to doing when you get back. I also think sending letters in the mail would be nice too. I know my kids love to get mail.

Good luck.

M.

I also don't agree with the other posters. You are asking for suggestion not criticism.

If you have to leave then don't feel guilty about. I do NOT agree with the second comment. I am sure if you did not have to go then you would not chose to go. My husband is in the military so he is deployed about half the year. So we know what its like to have to leave. My kids are 3 and 1, so they don't get that emotional, but the know when he is gone. Make sure that you talk as much as you can to her and send letters, cards, special little gift. Hearing your voice on the phone will make things better for her. Good luck!

Quit your job! All 5 of my children were latch-key kids, and they needed their mother. Your children do to. Believe me J., you will regret the day that your kids are grown and gone, and you missed it all!

Work from Home...I do, and many of my team members have children....They set their own hours, are at home when the kids get home, and make 6-7 figure incomes. It is not worth your working out of the home...Your oldest is close to rebelling, and then you will have to pay...and it will hurt. Please go to http://lifeimproved.healthyhometour.com and I can help you! God Bless...A. C. ###-###-####

Let her know how much you love her and tell her if she needs to talk to you about anything that you will listen.If you belive in God, pray and he will take care of things.

I also travel alot for my job and have 10 yo twin boys. They also have a difficult time with it, but here's what I try to do. I make sure that I call nightly at a preset time to talk to them about their day. We can also use a webcam if they want to so that I can see them when they talk to me. And we use instant message alot so that they can ask me questions at any time. My policy is also, that no matter how busy I am if they call me, I stop to talk to them - they are more important than any job. Good luck!!

I can not believe the negative posts! I have a 2 1/2 year old and 4 year old. I stay at home now, but I plan on getting my masters and starting a career by time they are in school. Your kids are old enough to go six weeks with out you. It won't undo all the parenting you have done up to this point. The fact that you have talked to everyone you can about this shows that you are "plugged in" to you children's lives. My goodness, you have been married 13 years. That shows dedication to family!

Anyway, when I was in 8th grade my mom went out of town for a few weeks. I stayed with my grandparents. I found it sort of boring and lonely, but it also let me show how independent I could be. You might use this approach with your daughter. Let her know that you need her support and help with the family while you are gone.

I also remember I watched the calender very closely while my mom was gone. You might get your daughter a calender to mark off the days while you are gone. Good luck!

Whenever I had to leave town for a long time, I would prepare a gift for my children for ea. day I would be gone. I would label the gifts for the day I wanted them to receive them and have my husband to lay ea. day out the night before. They would be small gifts. Hair bows, cute footies, bracelets, .50, etc. for my daughter and things my son liked for him, a movie ticket, marbles, gum, $1 etc. You could even let a day be a note. 6wks is a very long time for this, but you can alternate days if need be. And you could make sure to send a postcard or letter once a week. Small touches will ease the emptiness. Try leaving or sending with your letter a stamped self-addressed envelope for her to reply to you. It really worked for me.(because it did work it took some of the mommy guilt from me)GOOD LUCK!

My parents worked for an insurance company most of my childhood and travled a lot and though I had lots of family and siblings to keep my company, it was always a little heart wrenching! My mom did a few wonderful things to help though!

Mom always had a "thing" with each of us, like a special "inside joke" if you will and she would mention it over phone calls and in the letters and postcards she would send. She always brought us something back-even if it was small. My sister loved frogs as a child and my mom would send some kind of frog souvenier to her to make her feel special.

Also, webcams!!! I know it sustained my relationship while my husband was deployed. I got a LogiTeck cam at WalMart for $25 and what an investment! It was cake to install too.

Do you have a laptop with a webcam and do you have a desktop with a webcam? If so it may make it easier for her knowing she can still see you while you are gone for the 6 wks, and just reassure her you will call her in the morning and at night before she goes to bed. The night before you leave you can always take her favorite toy and hold it with you so atleast she can have the smell of you on it. If you dont have the webcams you can always take her to the store with you let her pick out a pretty frame and she can put a picture of you in it and she can put it by her bedside.

Hope it helps
Im sure its tough at this age to not have MOM around.