Hey, mamas! I have a 3.5 month old baby boy. I am in graduate school and so he mostly spends all his time with me, with grandma (my mom) babysitting twice a week. I have to take an out-of-state school-related trip in a couple of weeks and cannot take him along. This is my dilemma: I don't know if I should leave him home with daddy or have daddy go with me and leave him with grandma. It would be a 3-day trip.
I'm worried that if both my husband and I leave, my son will experience distress because of this. Is that possible at this age or is he too young for that? I would like my husband to be able to go with me, as it would be a nice little getaway...but do not want to if it will not be best for my son. I am nursing but have enough in the freezer (he takes a bottle well) and will pump while I'm gone. What would you do?
Wow, thank you for all the responses! The reason I don't want to take baby is because we've gone a couple of places before, and he doesn't do well with hotels AT ALL. He is a very easy-going baby, but sort of miserable when out of his surroundings. So I didn't want to force him to sit in a hotel all day while I'm at conferences.
But, based on all your comments, my husband and I are going together. And we'll say hi to baby via Skype once a day! Thanks so very, very much for all your comments.
This is a school related trip, not a getaway. If I had to go without my child, I would leave him home with his daddy. If daddy needs some help, have grandma come over and help.
I am a grandma of 6 they are 10, 4, 3, 2, 8mths, 1 month, and I have another on the way, in about 7 mths. If the grandma provides the same level of love and care that you do, and have had no difficulties with leaving them for school or whatever, I would tell you GO for it. The baby will be just fine...especially at such a young age, and you will have some much needed relaxation, and alone time. Believe you will not get as much of that as you would like. Take advantage and don't worry so much.
Go with your husband! At this age, your baby will have no separation anxiety, not to mention he already spends a good amount of time with your mom.
Make the most of your time away! And it's a good habit to get into - trips away are precious for couples.
Can you tell I think you should go away with your husband? : )
leave him with grandma and enjoy a very nmice break with hubby! get out now before your locked down for a few years ;)
If your husband goes with you, the baby will be completely fine! If you're able to manage, go ahead and enjoy some time with your husband. I have two year old twins, and I would've killed for a chance to get away with my husband when they were three months old. I think we stress way more than our babies do. He will be fine, and you will be, too!
I wouldn't worry about the baby distressing over your absence. He is quite young and also he is used to his grandma. My worry would be how far you are going away. If something were to happen to the baby one of you would want to be close enough to respond. If you both a plane flight away then that would be hard. If it is within a couple hours away then I would say both go.
I'd take my hubby and baby with me. I couldn't leave a baby that young with anybody. I'm sure the baby would be fine, but I would just miss him. If you leave the baby with Grandma, chances are, you are going to be thinking about him the whole time anyways, so you might as well just bring him along!
I kind of agree with Sue. Why not take the baby? Daddy can babysit while you're doing your school stuff and you'll have the evenings to be together as a family. I would have a really hard time leaving my baby at that age.
If Daddy can come along with you, why can't baby come, too? I know many other moms differ on this, but I wouldn't have parted with my baby at that age for 3 days (of course she absolutely refused to drink from a bottle, so that added to the difficulty).
This is a great opportunity for you and your husband to have some time together. At this age, as long as your son has food and rest and cuddling, he's going to be happy. And cell phones make it easy to check up on how things are going.
In a few more months your little boy is going to be much more particular, so enjoy the time right now!
if grandma wasn't already babysitting him, i'd say leave the baby with your hubby but since your baby already knows grandma, there shouldn't be any distress on his part. take the trip with your husband and enjoy!
The first time is the roughest.... Either is fine. Do what you are the most comfortable with, but either choice your child will be fine and probably better for it.
Go with your Husband.
Also, depends on how competent your Hubby is... with an infant... and will he know how/when to feed him/how often/change diapers.. .and how to put him to sleep and ALL that other stuff... by himself????
Have your Husband, go with you.
Go with your husband and leave the baby with Grandma!!!
It will be hard for you to leave him, but it is actually much easier on him at his age then when he gets older.
I have to travel about once a quarter for my job, and have always left my son with my Mom and he has done great. Now that he is almost 3, it is getting more difficult, be/c he does miss me and is extra clingy when I get home.
It is very important for you and your husband to have alone time - will only strenghthen your marriage and make you better parents.
I wouldn't take the baby with you - way too much stress & work!!
I also nursed my son & traveled many times while still nursing - so if you have any questions about that process - let me know!
Your son is already familiar with your mom. Take your husband & enjoy the get-away! As long as your comfortable that your baby will be well taken care of & loved, it can be a great relationship builder for you & your husband. You'll come back so happy & anxious to love/hold/take care of your son. It's so worth it!
Hi W. M ;-)
I agree with both Jane and Mallory. Your son may not have a "conscious" awareness of your not being present, as well as his dad.. but energetically, he will know so an explanation verbally and through your heart that he is safe with grandma, that you love him and are always connected to him through your heart and that you both are going to be gone for a few days will go a LONG way at the subconscious level!
May sound a bit unusual, but we communicate through our energy bodies just as much as we do with our physical ones :-) I agree that it is GREAT for you and your husband to be able to get away... times like these will be not as prevalent as time goes on, so honor yourselves with this gift!
Your son will be safe with your mom and quite happy and you can phone if you want and grandma can put the phone up to his ear! But if that is too wild for you, just go into your heart center and THINK of your son.. he will feel it immediately!
hugs,
A. R.N., Energy Medicine Practitioner
I would tke hubby and him with me, so there would be as little disruption in his feeding schedule as possible...otherwise, when you return, you might have major issues with him returning to nursing since he would have had only a bottle for the three days, which is a long time in his little world!
In not too many words: Ditch the kid. LOL! It sounds like a wonderful little getaway for you and hubby! And since your baby boy spends a couple days a week with Grandma he knows her, her face, her smells and you know she knows how to best calm him down if he's worked up. Have a great time!
It's harder on mom than baby. IF baby has a good attachment to both of you there shouldn't be a problem.
