Leash for Wild Toddler?

Updated on October 05, 2008
G.K. asks from San Bruno, CA
4 answers

I have a very delightful but extremely "high energy" just-turned-two-year-old who is in constant motion and loves to run off and explore...no matter where we are. I have tried lots of different things to try to keep him closer to me, like talking to him beforehand and scolding him when he runs off. I even read him a book called "Ernie Gets Lost"--which has Ernie very sad and crying when he gets separated from Maria in the department store. However, the next time we were out, my little guy giggled "going lost like Ernie!" over his shoulder while racing off. Grrr...Anyway, I generally try to take him to uncrowded places like the park and zoo so when he runs ahead of me I can see exactly where he is. However, there are a couple of places we will be taking him in the future where it is possible he might get lost in the crowd. He's not a stroller guy and if there are interesting things to explore, he is miserable (and hence so are we) being strapped down.

I am not interested in pathologizing him (I am quite sure that he's not hyperative, as he is able--when he wants to--to sit and listen to books, etc. for an hour at a time), but I would like some advice on keeping him safe in crowds. I am considering getting one of those backpack-leash things. Have any of you with extremely high energy toddlers used them? Did your toddler fight it? Did you get any looks from other people?

On a side note, for those of you who had "runners" like this, when did your toddler eventually "outgrow" this stage?

Thanks!

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Y.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Dera G.,
The backpack leases are the most wonderful things for little ones. Our son is almost 3 and we have had one since he was 18 months, He is a runner and once ran into a parking lot with my husband right behind him, If a car had been coming we would not have him now. We have never gotten over that scare. Our son has never fought it, in fact, when we are going out he says " Mom , my puppy please" . I get a few looks now and then, but my little one's safety is more important than stares. Good Luck!
Y.

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D.K.

answers from San Francisco on

My very strong gut feeling is that leashes are for animals, NOT people, including children. I absolutely hate seeing them and believe they are inhumane. I have four children, now ages 8 to 17. So I have had experience with kids not wanting to stay with you and running away. I discovered by accident that children understand what we say at very young ages and able to comply with what we expect if we tell them/remind them of the rules. So I would remind him before you leave the house what the rules are, like no running around, stay with mommy (my kids often had to hold my shirt, so I knew where they were, especially when I was carrying another child.) When you get to there ask him to restate the rules. If there was misbehaviour you can remind him of the rules/ask him again what the rules are. If he continues to misbehave then you need to have consequences, ie. time out or whatever you think is best in the situation, for example if you went to get him something then you don't buy it during that trip. You need to be prepared to leave if he can't follow the rules - I know it can be very difficult especially when you feel you need to get things done, but it will pay off in the long run. I NEVER bribed (sp?) my kids for good behaviour. Good behaviour is expected (of course all kids misbehave at times, but it's about setting your expectations for their behaviour) I think sometimes we forget that kids don't automatically know what we expect or where we are taking them. I would start out a trip telling my kids all the places we had to go and what behaviour I expected of them. Kids also have short attention/memory/get distracted easily and we need to remind them or get them to refocus. For awhile you may need to keep trips short - so he can be "good". If the time frame is too long you will set him up to fail. Sorry, I don't remember when this behaviour is outgrown, but this too shall pass. Hang in there!

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J.L.

answers from San Francisco on

My 19-month old boy is also extremely high-energy and hard to handle when taking him out. We bought the cute stuffed animal/backpack-style leash from Target (I think it's an Eddie Bauer brand) awhile back but he would absolutely refuse to let us even put it on him. We think those leashes don't really work for the toddlers that truly need them.

I've tried to avoid taking my son to crowded places where he could get lost easily, but if we do go, we usually have at least 2 adults around to chase after him. I do hope it passes...

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My runners were in a stroller in crowds until they were five. It was the only way to keep them safe. My sis tried the leash and it was awful to watch! Constant tug O war between her and her daughter. The stroller is fun the leash seemed like a punishment.

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