Ladies - I Need Some Advice Please

Hey T.,
gee.. I don't think you are a bad person for having second thoughts. I think most people would understand that you are a bit apprehensive to attend a family only party of someone you hardly know. Perhaps you could email or call her and tell her just want you said in your post.. about how you are feeling really overwhelmed in getting ready to go away for the holidays and will not be able to make it. Really.,,. its that easy.. no harm in that.. perfectly acceptable.

OR.. You could say after talking it over with your husband, that you are not comfortable driving down there by yourself and your child. OR you could mention both reasons.. whatever you are comfortable with.

I think it would be nice maybe if your budget allows to tell her that you would like to send her child a small gift in the mail to let her know you are thinking of her son or you could offer to set up a play date at a halfway point for both of you... after the holidays so the kids could play and bring a little gift (a book,, something simple..)at that point.
Hope that helps.. you are a lot like me. you don't want to hurt feelings but I think its important to do what you are comfortable with!! don't worry about this anymore,, be gracious and honest. If she gets mad.. then she isn't someone worth getting to know, in my opinion.

Personally, the situation just sounds strange. You don't know her that well yet you are a special friend guest star. strange. Just doesn't sit well with me. Sorry if I sound like i'm making judgement, just seems weird.

Hi T.
If you are feeling uncomfortable, then do not go. You could send a gift for the child and explain that you are unable to attend due to your trip. I have always felt that
we should listen to that little feeling inside of us that makes us feel uncomfortable. Its there for a reason. You either do not really like this woman, or you do not like the idea of a long drive. Whatever it is, listen to your inner voice.
S.

Please don't feel bad about feeling this way. I think we are similar people, and I would be having the same thoughts had I been in the situation you are in. I am shy and introverted and uncomfortable in places where I don't know many people, if any at all. I would not go to the party if I were you because of that and the drive and it being around the Holidays. I would just chat with the mom and mentioned that something came up and you won't be able to make it to the party. You feel terribly, and would like to send a gift anyway. Since the party is at her house, she didn't pay for your "spot" at a party place, so I am sure she will be fine with it. She will have many other people there, so it will be fine.

As an aside, I really don't like it when parents invite one friend to a party that is all family. I just think it isn't right or fair to your friend. Of course your friend is going to feel like the odd one out, even if your family is super friendly. Some people look at family and friends as the same, but I think they are different. I am sure she meant well by inviting you and wants you to know you are a good friend. Just my opinion.