Lack of Support....

My husband had surgery and they did a lot of what you're talking about. He had it done at the end of the week and during the weekend every time he bent his head forward blood ran down into his mustache. He eventually shaved it off. By Monday we decided he was bleeding too much and went back to OKC and saw the doc. He pulled out the "Nasal Tampon" and it seemed like it was about a foot long. He then proceeded to pull huge things out of his sinus' with long tweezers, I asked what it was and the Doc laughed and said "Boogers". After he repacked the sinus' my husband felt better but he still had some discomfort. He took the pain meds and slept a lot. He even went to work with me at the home where I was employed as a nanny, he just slept on the couch and I kept the kids off him. He was off work at least a week and maybe two.

I saw on your profile in previous questions that you were a student so I assume you don't work but go to school. So who watches your child when you are in class? If they go to child care then you have to pay anyway, if you recieve assistance for child care then clear it with your child care worker and child care provider in advance. Go ahead and take him and have a neighbor give you a ride back and forth. When I lived in married student housing the famioy resource center had some resources that I could use if needed. I also think you could put the surgery off until Spring classes are over.

There's a 3 week break between Spring classes and Summer classes so that could be when you schedule it. Your mom might even be able to arrange for a weeks vacation at that time or your dad could get flight reservations early and then it would be cheaper. If you go to church or at least believe in the teachings then perhaps you could find a church family that could be supportive. I know our Relief Society is supposed to work that way, they don't very often but it's supposed to. Look into community organizations, see if there are any that could help with anything from house keeping to laundry. Anything except taking care of your child can be put off. Use paper plates and plastic flatware, use stuff for the microwave and let things go.

So, have your surgery on a monday, take your son to child care M-F that week and get rest. When it's time to pick him up have a plan, you could offer room and board to someone to come in for the 2 weeks, it could be a student friend who is out of the dorms at that time too. At 4 years old he really is old enough to understand you aren't feeling well and that you can't pick him up but that doesn't mean he can't crawl up in your lap to begin with. You can still have serious snuggle time with him sitting in your lap or him laying beside you on the couch watching tv. Have food issues taken care of, buy stuff for the freezer, stock up, get frozen food that is microwavable, save up spme money for pizza delivery, plan ahead. They have lots of veggies now that are microwave ready such as broccoli, rice, and cheese, or red potatoes and green beans in a yummy sauce.

T.

You will not be losing two weeks of your life….you will be alive! I’m concerned that a doc would use such terms.

My suggestion is to contact your church. If you are not a member of church, you could still check out a few local churches and let them know your predicament. There are women’s organizations (especially at the larger churches) that may be able to help you. They may be able to find someone who needs housing, stay with you and help in exchange for room and board. Additionally, even though your mother is working, would she be willing to help out when she gets off work? Maybe she could spend some nights with you and her grandchild?

I would put off any debilitating surgery until you are comfortable with the security of your child. Your recovery will be faster if your mind is at peace.

Blessings……

my sis had her tonsils removed recently & she can tolerate a lot of pain but she was out of it...i am not sure about the other things you mentioned......it takes months to recover.........can you wait til summer & have some neighborhood girls come over to keep him busy & play outside with him?.......i don't have any good solutions for you except that you need to have a plan for your son, you will need help, he will not understand what you are going thru........best wishes

I have had this surgery and you absolutely must follow post op instructions to the letter. You cannot lift, etc., because you could begin hemmorhaging! And you will be on heavy pain meds because it is painful surgery. You have to find care for your child! Contact your Dr.'s office and ask for help, or call your church or even the local Department of Social Services. Call Catholic Family Services even if you are not Catholic - they help everyone. But DO NOT go into this surgery thinking you will handle it on your own. Please!

Yes, I think you really will be mostly incapacitated for 2 weeks. My son had a tonisillectomy at age 7 and he was totally out of it for 9 days and it took 2-3 weeks to make a full recovery. He is usually a tough kid too. It is supposed to be a lot more difficult as an adult. The surgery was worth it in the long run, but it wasn't an easy or pleasant recovery. Sorry, I don't have any good ideas for you that haven't been already posted, but if your dad is retired I would consider having him fly out to stay with you. I think you will need help though. Good luck.

T.,
Holy cow--I am sorry you're going to be going through all of that and without much of a support system.
all I know is that usually when the docs give you a scenario it's fairly accurate.
Any chance that your dad could come to stay with you & your son? It might be well worth the cost of a round trip ticket, even if you have to put it on a credit card or if your dad is able to split the cost with you.
Also, you might want to think about stocking up some food/meals in your freezer & pantry so that meals are covered for the most part.
Where I live there is a company called ComfortKeepers that provides a helping hand by the hour and I don't think it's crazy-expensive. Check to see if they (or a similar kind of company) is in your area. While they do provide personal care, they also provide people like you & me to do light cleaning, meal prep, grocery shopping, etc.
By any chance, are you part of a church? I know they have groups that will provide food/cooked meals to people that are sick/recovering in may churches.
Best of luck to you. I'm sorry I have no real specific information for your area, but wanted to offer you my thoughts...

You are a single mom...which means you can do ANYTHING!!! You are super mom!!

I suggest going to the grocery store and maybe the movie store and toy store and stocking up on anything and everything you think you might need/want for at least 2 weeks. You and your son can eat yummy food (jello, pudding,sherbet, etc) and just take it easy. I am sure you will be out for at least a couple days but after that you should be able to, I bet, move about more. I think that if you explain to your son that he is going to have to take care of mommy for awhile, but that you will be OK, he will probably love taking care of you!

So, stock the fridge with easy to access and easy to open foods,(microwavable everything,string cheese, stuff your son can get himself) buy the kiddo a couple new movies and maybe some toys and books and prepare to be a "couch potato" for that time....it will suck, but you can do it?

I am more worried about how you are supposed to get home and then go to the store for your pain meds? Will someone be watching your son for you? Maybe that same someone can make sure you are all set up before they leave you...

Some advance planning will be your ticket to success...do some laundry and put his outfits in easy stacks, make sure the house is nice and tidy before the big day, buy enough food and drink, and some fun stuff son has never played with before...you can do it!

Good luck woman!

Hi - sorry you have to do this without more help! I had major surgery when my son was almost 2 and my mom came to help because I also could not pick anything up. But- I was not totally out of commission. Ideally though, you will need to be resting and not worrying about things.

I see that some people have suggested contacting your church, which is a great idea. That is what a church community is for- helping others in need.

Also see if there is a mother's support group sponsored by your town or community. Go to the Village Hall and ask- a lot of towns and communities have daycare or other similar services, often with fees offered on a sliding scale.

Also, I know your friends may have different lives and interests from you now, but they are still your friends! Ask for help- a real friend will do what they can, even if it is just babysitting for an afternoon or coming over to help with dinner or pick up your meds from the drug store for you.

Don't be afraid to ask for help - official help from a group or church or community- or from your friends and family. You may be surprised at how many people will pitch in just because they care about you and its the right thing to do! Heck, if I lived around there, I would be emailing you and offering to babysit and bring over a casserole- mamas have to look out for each other and it really does take a village sometimes!

A little help can go a long way- and you never know when you will be in a position to pay it forward by helping out someone else who needs it! Good luck and hang in there- it will work out all right!