Labor Pain Management Advice

If you don't want to take another class try reading about natural birth. i found Ima May's Guide to Childbirth very helpful. It has been in print for awhile but it include many different natural birth stories. You'll get an idea of how others cope with pain.
Keep active before baby so you won't tire out quickly. With baby 1 I used an exercise ball before i went to the hospital. With baby 2 I laid on my side for awhile at home. Both were quick once in the hospital so I don't have many tricks for there. Both of mine were natural. The only drugs I took were a local anesthetic before they stitched up small tears.

Hire a doula. It's the best thing you can do for pain management in my opinion.

Chances are your epidural will work this time around. With my first they couldn't quite get it to work for awhile but when it did it was beautiful!!! Now with my second it worked fine at first but then stopped working for the last hour and twenty minutes. That was pure hell!!! The anesthesiologist never left my side and kept trying. Finally, he mentions trying a saddle block. This is what they used before epidurals. The upside is that they work right away but only last for about an hour and then have to be repeated. I told him to go for it and it worked immediately which was great because my baby came out about a minute later. I felt no pain with his actual exit or the removal of the placenta which was wonderful. I was surprised to learn that many women aren't told about saddle blocks, so please by all means if you ask for an epidural and it doesn't seem to be working (even after they've added extra juice) then demand a saddle block. Also, my anesthesiologist for my first born told me that it's always important to keep ahead of your pain otherwise it can be difficult to stop it. He advised to ask for your epidural before any real pain sets in. It's been proven now that there is no need or benefit in waiting for a woman to be 4 centimeters dilated. Most doctors are very supportive and will leave an order for you to get your epidural whenever you'd like it. Make sure you ask your doctor about that. Anyway, I'm sure all will be fine for you. Good luck!!! And please accept my condolences on the loss of your second baby.

Wanting to manage the pain or avoid it is what causes it to feel so painful. What works best is to be present to the pain and accept it fully; be curious about it and not trick yourself out of it. Because in the past you tried to get away from the pain, you are now more fearful of it. If in the past you let yourself have the pain, you wouldn't be afraid now, because you would know that it isn't as bad as your fear of it. In fact, it is really find, but only when you don't fight it.

On the technical side: To have faster and more comfortable labor and birth, never lie on your back. Being on your back slows down the birth and causes stress to the baby because your weight is on the arteries that supply his blood.

Hospitals insist on you being on your back for their convenience and to attach you to their monitors and treatments. This causes birth difficulties
and even baby's distress. Epidural may be the cause of hipotonia (no muscle tone) in babies and other side effects. They say it doesn't cross the placenta but it does and it gets to your milk supply too.

I gave birth at home and found it such a wonderful experience. I gave birth at home three times at ages 37, 41, 44. Millions of women do that. But even in the hospital or a birthing center you can ask for natural birth and for never being on your back. The best natural way is to be in the bath with nice warm water and music and a loving husband. Bith then is just a real awesome birthday party.

My first born would have been a C section if I was in the hospital. Home is safer. The greatest danger to giving birth is medical interventions. USA has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the world, but only in the hospital.

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I also recommend having a doula because besides having great ideas for pain coping and pain relief, she's also there to support you emotionally, which most women really need. You'll need it even more because your upcoming birth could bring back overwhelming memories from your last birth. Hypnobirthing could be really good for you for exploring any fear that you have about the pain of labor. Also, if you're interested in a few counseling sessions there is a counseling practice with a focus on birth and mothering: http://motherootscounseling.com/
The best bang for your buck, though, would probably be a doula because she can come with you and help you through *whatever* happens.

I was given two pieces of advice on this site that helped me tremendously during the birth of my second...1. SIT UP in bed, or on a birthing ball or where ever but SIT UP, don't lay down. This speeds up the process by letting gravity work for you. 2. Curl your back, kinda like a cat, with your spine rounded and shoulders forward. I don't know why but this helped manage the pain for me. And always remember that labor is almost always quicker the more births you've had. So if you did it with the first one, you can DEFINITELY do it with the third!

Did hypnobirthing with baby #1. My labor was 23 hours and one push. I didn't even consider drugs. I said "ow" once during the ring of fire, but other than that, it was just horribly uncomfortable.

Baby #2, I tried it again based on what I remembered and was never able to get into the "zone". Water broke, and he was born without pushing 5 hrs later. The pain was horrible, and because it was so short, was very intense.

So, I think hypnobirthing is awesome, but a great coach is a must, and most importantly, you must have good training and plenty of practice. Not something you can just learn about and do during labor!

Hi K.,

I'm so sorry for the pain (physical and emotional) that you had to endure with baby #2. When we have traumatic births, there is a sort of post traumatic stress that develops. I find (personally) that fear feeds into pain, and that if you can work your way through the fear - the pain will not be such a problem. Each pregnancy and birth is different. I don't know how to help you NOT expect the same turmoil you went through with baby #2, but you likely have some of those answers within yourself.

There are some things you can do right away to help yourself out. I would pull my chart records from baby #2 (get copies from the records department at the hospital) and talk with an anesthesiologist about them. Are there clues in the chart as to why the epidural was a problem? Was this a less experienced anesthesiologist who worked on you? Is it harder to find "landmarks" on you that the anesthesiologist look for? The anesthesiologists within a given hospital (usually there are not too many of them) need to be aware of your prior history before you go in for your third birth. Your OB needs to be aware of any findings from the anesthesiologists as well. If anyone needs to come to give you an epidural, make sure they are sending the most experienced anesthesiologist to you. You deserve that.

As some other posters have suggested, you might also look into having a doula present for the birth. An experienced doula will have different pain management methods at their disposal to help you work your way through the birth. (Massage, those giant balls that you sit on, etc.) They will be your advocate and give you options when you need them.

Keep in mind that you have already been through hell, and you survived that. There is not much else that can be thrown at you that you won't be able to manage. Just get some more information about the epidural - see if there is anything that can be fixed there. Get some more advocates on your team that know all about the birthing process. Know in your heart that you can make it through anything, and YOU WILL. You have already shown that you can.

Best wishes and happy memories to you and your family!
M.

It couldn't hurt to take classes, LaMaze or Bradley.
Either will teach you relaxation techniques.
You'll be better prepared for whatever occurs.

I recommend Hypnobabies classes or home study course. Hypnobabies teaches you how to use the power of your mind to be relaxed and in control. Your mind, body and baby can then work together more effectively and efficiently. You are not "ignoring" the pain or "tricking" yourself out of the pain. People assume that epidurals are always effective and without risk. They aren't! I had an epidural with my first, and even though it was effective for pain relief it caused problems during pushing and I almost needed a c-section because of it. Moms who choose an epidural are automatically increasing their chance of a c-section. Epidurals also increase the chance of needing pitocin, operative (vacuum or forceps-assisted) delivery and a host of other negative ramifications for mom and baby. There is a reason that there is a 30% c-section rate in this country and overuse of epidurals is part of the reason. With baby #2 I used self-hypnosis (which is what Hypnobabies teaches) and my experience was so different. I had no medication or interventions whatsoever; I was calm and in control the whole time; my son was born easily and naturally. Please educate yourself and do what you can to prepare for a birth without an epidural. Reading about natural childbirth and hiring a doula are great ideas as well. You already had one positive birth experience and there is a no reason to think you won't have another one. You can do it!!

Still births are often hard because the baby isn't able to help. And, the baby is often undeveloped so there isn't much to do except have a painful labor.
You are now having a full term or near term baby. It should go as well or better than your first labor.
Above all remember you will do this birth very well. Third babies are mostly the easiest birth a mother has.

Weird. I wrote a long response to this and it somehow disappeared.

My answer was: Do whatever you feel like doing at the time. This could be singing loudly or screaming (that's what helped me, not only with the pain, but also with focusing my energy and allowing myself to open up), walking, dancing, sitting, bouncing on a body ball, going outside, breathing, whatever it is that you feel like doing- give yourself permission to be as weird as you need to be. Trust your body and your instincts. You were built for this!!

I also want to echo what someone said below about trying to escape from or ignore the pain. I also think that can contribute to your fear... and repressed fear keeps people from dilating. The thing to remember is that in normal life pain means that something is wrong with your body... but in childbirth it's just part of the process. The pain is just there, it doesn't mean that something is wrong. If you trust your midwife or doctor, then you don't need to worry that something is wrong... leave that up to them to pay attention to. That's what they're there for.

It's gonna hurt. You know that. From what you say, your fear is about whether you can do it or not. I'll share with you the simple realization that I had when I was working on facing that fear myself: You don't have a choice about that anymore. It's too late. That baby is coming out no matter what you do. You have no choice but to go through the pain until it's over with. If you get to a place where you feel like you're going to lose it... go ahead and lose it. It won't last forever. You will go through it and find yourself on the other side of it feeling very empowered and holding your amazing and wonderful new baby in your arms. :)

You can do it!! This is what your body was built for!!!

PS. I just want to say also that I'm sorry for your loss of your second baby. I lost a baby at 13 weeks (my first pregnancy) and not only did it take me months to heal emotionally from that loss, it also affected me psychologically and emotionally during my next pregnancy (a healthy boy- born 9/27/09!). It can be a challenge to work through that kind of a loss. I hope you are able to honor that during your current pregnancy... and that you have support to talk it all through.

Hi K.,

I think your body was under a different type of stress on baby #2. I didn't have any type of pain relief, I just focused on other things. I took a book of my favorite pictures and looked at that every so often.

Best wishes.

Everyone I know who has used Hypnobirthing has had success. You aren't ignoring the pain, you are teaching your mind to suppress it.
I think if you can get through labor with pitocin, you can easily do it without! Just know the facts and refuse any induction or augmentation unless there is something wrong. There's no reason to induce after your water breaks for at least 72 hours unless they put something up there. Don't let them to any cervical exams (the mean NOTHING. AT ALL.). Your body will most likely go into labor on it's own if you give it time to do so.

I would avoid pitocen if you can. Pitocen makes labor faster (for most women) but it also makes the pain A LOT more intense. I would talk to your doctor about why the epidural didn't work. (I have an extra vertibre that made the doctors count off on one of mine) Even if you don't use an epi, you should know what went wrong so you can avoid the same problem.

My kids were born in the 80's, I didnt have all the massive options they have available today. Epidurals were available tho, I chose not to go that route as I wanted it to be as natural as possible so I could remember every thing I did and felt while I *processed* our children.
I did the Lamaze method. Hubby was there the entire time, kept me focused and distracted. Like you and your first, just when you think you cant hang anymore out came my son. Dad was so proud of me that I didnt go the drug route and bragged on me forever for that. I did the same thing with son number two just 11 mos later. Of course it's gonna be a tad uncomfortable but that's the way nature intended it to be. A lot of people are afraid of or figure "why deal with pain when you dont have to?"
It's a personal decision for you to do what you want.
Ask your doc how long can you labor before you decide to get an epidural... I think there is a time limit on it. They usually give them too soon in my opinion.
I don't know anyone who has done hypno, but it's basically the same as Lamaze, concentrating on an object and being in touch with your own breathing in order to get you through each contraction.
I would guess that baby number three will be as easy for you as baby number 1 was, just a gut feeling I have about it.
Good luck and prayers to you and congrats..

EPIDURAL!!!! I went into labor at about 8:00 in the morning. I did not get any drugs until 1:00 in the morning!!!! I finally asked for the epidural because the anesthesiologist was going to perform a c-section; that means I was going to have to endure contractions for 3 more hours!!!! I was able to breath with every contraction. I kept myself relaxed the whole time. I went for the epidural when I could not take it anymore. The epidural was not too bad either. I didn't even feel the needle going in. I was just breathing and relaxing. Blessings!

With my first, I also wish that I had known that the epidural might not work, because I never took a childbirth class or anything. And that was also a water-broke-pitocin-induced birth. Mine was 14 hours, though (so jealous of the 5 with your first!) Anywho, didn't take a childbirth class the second time around either, and the epidural worked just fine. I did ask to have the most advanced resident I could because of my difficulty the fist time (they wouldn't spare an anethesiologist for an epidural). No problems at all. So anyway, good luck coming up with a back-up plan, but know that the epidural just might work this time 'round.

Hi K.,

I would hire a doula!:-)

Best of luck!
T. Nelson CD (DONA)

Prenatal yoga is excellnet. Not sure of your location what is in Oregon - here are some places that offer it in Seattle area. JCC on Mercer Island, 8 Limbs Yoga Centers (4 locations), Yoga Centers (Bellevue). Be sure to find the right class and teacher that fit your needs.

Stay at home and give birth! Your body is able to relax the most at home. When you leave your home environment in labor, you tense up due to the unknown and this causes labor to feel more painful. And when you are at home you can do whatever you want to make yourself more comfortable without nurses breathing down your neck, not letting you eat, strapping you to the bed etc. I have had 2 home births and they were fabulous. And I had 20 hour labors with all three kids.

Lisa

Hi, I never took a hypnobirthing class, but I did read the most popular hypnobirthing book. I think it really helped me focus on what pain is real and what pain is more fear induced. I also had a doula during my birth which I thought was invaluable. I had pitocin for my first child and had about 6 hours of labor before transition and then pushing. No pain meds whatsoever. What I'm about to say will likely sound very hokey to many people but I think it really helped me. A few weeks to a month before the birth I would talk to our daughter either outloud or in my mind to her and tell her how much we were a team in her birth and when she wanted to come out she didn't have to rush it, would come at her own pace and didn't have to hurt me etc, etc. As labor started, I again talked to her telling her how excited I was to see her and that we would do this as a team without pain for either of us. Except for transition which is always the most difficult for both the baby and the woman, it was a very easy labor. Each pregnancy and each birth is different. Just try to relax as much as possible, accept what comes and enjoy the ride! Congrats.

Baby #1 was about 12 hrs and I used an epidural, it worked, but too well, especially on one side. The nurses forgot to come in and have me move more. I didn't know.

Baby #2, very short and no time for anything but a local to help relieve pain from tearing during birth. It didn't have much time to work, but did take some of the edge off.

They say that your labor is quicker with the next baby. I don't dare have another, it would be born in 5 minutes. My 2nd took an 1.5 hrs from water breaking to out and crying. No labor pains before waters. I almost didn't make it to the hospital while waiting for someone to come take care of sleeping #1.

Just remember your breathing techniques and the exercise ball helped quite a bit before I succumbed to the epidural w/ #1. I waited until the last possible moment for my epidual.

You'll do fine, just try to relax. Your #2 probably wasn't a good one to base it on since there were other complications. Sorry for your loss.

I did a standard birthing class for my first child and hypnobirthing for my second. Night and day. The hypnobirthing was awesome. I was relaxed and comfortable and listening to my relaxation tapes throughout labor. I was in my own zone and only needed a little lower back massage from my mid-wife near the end. With hypnobirthing you breathe through the contractions with deep long breaths and that really helps for the pain management. You also stop thinking about childbirth as 'labor' or 'pain' and they use words like 'pressure' instead. It's really all about gaining control of your fears and learning that your body can do this and you have control over the feeling. It's amazing.

Search on here for Hypnobabies. I posted a couple responses about it and for me it was AWESOME! I did the home study course just so that I could manage my pain to get to the hospital an hour away where my doc delivered. Well, it worked so well that the labor was short and no pain meds needed. I never ended up feeling like I couldn't do it and I hadn't even really planned on a med free birth. I wasn't really consistant about doing the practice either. (And I am NOT a "crunchy" person LOL)
You don't actually "ignore" any pain...you actually end up having intense effective pressure INSTEAD of pain...it was so cool! I actually use the techniques for neck pain and headaches when I get them now (if I can remember to do it and actually have 30 min. to myself with these 2 little buggers running around! LOL)
Good luck!

I would suggest a Bradley Natural Childbirth class. You will learn all you need about pain management ( natural and otherwise) to help you make wise and informed decisions on it all and to have the skills if you choose not to take, or are unable to take ( or find that they don't work) medication and still manage well.....

What you learn there will be empowering for you and your hubby and will help you heal some of your past as well. I know a local teacher ( and I used to be one) if you need the information on her.....I used the info to have 4 successful healthy births and while I won't say they were pain free, I will say that I never felt the need for any pain managment we did not know how to do ourselves. ( and NONE of the births were straight forward and uncomplicated)

I didnt have an epidural and yes there was a lot of pain. It was the pain that was the incentive for me to push HARD every time. I wanted her out! It would've been way easier to not push as much as I could everytime but that would've prolonged it. No drugs during birth felt just like being sloppy drunk...no concept of time, saying how I really felt about people (or having to make an effort not to), no depth perception and I would fall into a deep sleep betwen contraction even if they were only a minute apart. It was intense but awesome. Use the pain as incentive to get the baby out.

See if your hospital will let you labor in water. It really, really helps. I've had 3 all natural births. What I did is just focus on the contraction that was going on. No past, no future allowed, just staying in the present. Also, I told myself that this is pain for a purpose - the worse the pain gets, the closer I am.

I wish epidurals weren't touted as a cure-all these days. There is good evidence that they prolong labor, increase interventions like forceps or suction deliveries and C-sections, and they can cause fevers in babies after birth (which means that your baby has to get a catheter urine specimen, multiple blood tests, a spinal tap and antibiotics) as well as significant problems with breast feeding latch on :(. Believe me, if they were not problematic I'd be all for them, but I feel the risk to the baby is higher than the inconvenience of the pain to me.

Hi K.,
You've had some awesome responses, and I will just add one thing that wasn't mentioned specifically: if you can, try laboring in standing as much as possible. I spent my entire labor on my feet, and only felt real pain when I tried to lay down to rest - I ended up falling asleep on a stool and resting my arms and head on the raised hospital bed! By rocking back and forth, deep breathing, and letting gravity do the work (I propped up my arms on a countertop much of the time), it's so much easier on the body, and movement helps with natural pain management. I did read the hypnobirthing book, and totally agree that fear of pain is a real issue for American women. Personally, I just stayed excited about meeting my baby boy; it was the best birth I could have imagined. Best of luck!