we are going to redo our kitchen, ever since we stained the cabinets a dark ebony and painted the walls a sunny yellow i have wanted a medium dark counter top and a light colored backsplash. we have purchased the exact light colored backsplash i wanted.
the appliances are all stainless and black
today dh decides he wants a light counter and a black backsplash. every other room in the house is the colors he wanted. i wanted the kitchen to be mine.
he has only suggested this today and i have not talked to him about it yet. he sprung it on me and i don't know how to respond... don't know if i am being selfish or petty
what would you do?
med dark counter and light backsplash or light counter and black backslpash.
and would you be upset about your hubby changing your plans (that you thought he liked)
we talked. were going to set the ones we bought up and see if there is enough and how it looks with different layouts. i showed him that if he did a black backsplash the area behind the stove and ajecent to the fridge would become a black hole. (stove and side of fridge are both black and if the backsplash is black too that area will be too dark. i also brought up the washability of the tiles he picked vs the ones i already purchased and he understood where i was comming from. the counter i want is a java blend... can't tell if its clean or not and i love that. the stainless appliances are there to stay, they are only 3 yrs old and they were not cheep either. i am crossing my fingers that we can use the tiles we purchased. i love them and they are easy clean linnen look and designed for a backsplash (vs, the ones dh was thinking about which are slate with a black matte finish floor tile)
thank you fanged bunny! it was a reno question not a relationship question,
and as feelings question, i thought i was possibly being selfish and petty wanting my kitchen to be my design and since i am the only cook the only one that cleans in there i wanted that to be considered in the design.
mamazita i agree, i am the one who has to be in there the most so i should choose! he probably won't make too big of deal especially if the prepurchased tiles look as good as i think they will (and if there is enough.... he did all the math so it should be right)
All I can tell you is that my residential interior designer friends say they are the designer and the marriage counselor. I think it pretty common for remodel to cause tension. As for design help, looks like you need some pop. Something light to set off all the medium and dark tones.
My husband says "Love it" no matter what I pick. He is a smart man.😉
Sounds like y'all have some control issues more than a disagreement on decorating themes.
My mother in law is an interior designer and we're getting ready to renovate our kitchen too.
She told my husband, in no uncertain terms, that the kitchen is the woman's ultimate decision. He can have other rooms his way but I get final say on the kitchen.
Love that woman!
I would just say, you got to choose everything else, I'm picking the colors here.
Especially if you are the primary cook!
I can't imagine him giving you a hard time about it, unless he is a controlling type person?
If yes then you have bigger problems which will only get worse with time...
I think I'd rather move than remodel.
Tadpole-
Not going to answer re: the relationship between you and your husband, communicating decisions, and singlehanded changes in plans. Will talk to you about your color choices-
we bought a co-op with a recently re-finished kitchen. It has dark (brown black matte wood cabinets, stainless steel and black appliances and a medium grey granite backsplash and counter.
I fell in love. It had the modern lines, look etc that I adore. My husband prefers traditional finishes. Were we to be re-doing a space together it would not have been the likely result, because I can't imagine his being willing to bend that far in my direction.
Reality- its a freakin pain to maintain. Every spot of dust, water, grease & handprint shows against the dark cabinets and on the stainless steel appliances. the granite has a loose pattern with a lot of colors. It is hard to keep clean too because you can't tell whether its a coffee spill or the counter.
Best of luck to you in your reno.
F. B.
We just completed a major kitchen remodel. We gutted the sucker and moved things around. We did this ourselves and the help of Joy at Home Depot.
We have cherry cabinets, light color granite and stainless steel appliances. I did get very high end appliances which is why we did the work ourselves. =)
I don't have a backsplash up yet because I cant decide what I want up. Nothing looks good. My husband was way more involved in this project than any other one before. He started pushing his design and at first I just went with the flow but when he wanted to change an element that was a deal breaker for me I hit the roof.
Negotiation is the word of the day. Give and take.
I will be honest, I do not like dark colored countertops. Remember you might not live in this house forever.
I agree - set up what you have, leave it there for a few days, see how you feel about it.
A designer made that recommendation to me years ago.
We bought an old house with wood trim (not painted) and I covered it up in white paper for a week to see if I would prefer it painted white. It made decision easy.
I don't know the insides of your relationship, but no - you're not being petty. In our house, my husband wants me to do all the deciding (has zero interest) and says "Whatever you want hon" - which is good, except sometimes I do want a 2nd opinion. I think compromise is a good thing :)
Good luck!
Isn't ebony wood black?
I would definitely do a lighter countertopAND backsplash with black cabinets.
I'd discuss it with someone else. It ALL sounds rather dark to me.
But I agree with Fuzzy. Sounds like a control thing, not a color thing.
Marriage is give and take. It is picking your battles. It is letting a lot of things slide that don't really matter in the long run. It is also speaking up when something really DOES matter to you. A good marriage includes all of these things, from both people. So, is this a battle you want to pick - and is this a case where it is important to you to dig in your heels?
I chose to die on the field of my future hubby only wanting white walls in our first home. I about choked when he said that. I fought my battle and lived to fight another day lol. I couldn't bear the thought of our dream home, the one we worked so hard for - having white walls. I plan to live there the rest of my life! No way! lol!
Anyway, he was reasonable and we talked it out (and I got my classy and tastefully colored walls!). Hopefully you will have the same experience. Good luck!
i tend to give opinions, but leave most of the final decisions up to my husband as he has far better taste.
but when it's mine, it's mine, and i reserve the right to put my foot down in *my* rooms, and that includes the kitchen.
i'd let him have his input, and look at samples, and consider it with an open mind. but you sound pretty firm in what you want.
and i think you should get it.
khairete
S.
