Hi P.,
We did a major downstairs remodel---including gut of the kitchen, two years ago. While we did not change the footprint or add/tear out walls (which can really add to the cost), we did literally start with a blank slate in the kitchen, so our costs were more than what others are quoting here.
Much of your work needs to be done before the demo ever starts. You must begin with knowing your absolute max budget and then set about researching what you can get for that cost. Research what you want, find out costs, decide what you can afford, and make necessary adjustments to your "wants" vs. "needs" list.
There was a really great kitchen remodel guide (Consumer Reports, I think--they do one every season) that I kept with me at all times and also had a separate notebook with all of my sketches, measurements, costs, notes, products, etc. I had all this ready to go before meeting with contractors.
Once you know about the general range of costs involved and what you're willing to spend, then start getting estimates. Get at least three. The best bet is word of mouth and knowing someone who has had work done by the company so you can see the work, either in pictures, or better yet, in person (if friends or family have had work done). Ask for references, and definitely call those references.
We did all of that and still had to fire our GC for breach of contract. For whatever reason, some of the subs they hired for our job were just incompetent, and the other main partner (whom we hadn't met initially) was also incompetent and unprofessional. I think the company had the ability to do good work, but they were awarded a contract on a project in CA during our renovation and started to work on that project while doing ours. That was never part of our original deal; it happened after our project was started.
They had no leg to stand on as I had everything in writing regarding our very reasonable requests and complaints about the quality of their work and lack of timeliness. They went away with no further fuss when they received a letter from our lawyer. I just add that to let you know ahead of time to do all your research; get everything in writing in your contract; KNOW your contract; and keep good notes of the daily work and any issues you may have. Also, keep good communication with your GC. I talked with ours to check in on a regular basis, made our concerns known verbally, and then in writing, and was always given "don't worry, we'll get that," by the "good guy" but unfortunately, the "bad GC" was the one here most of the time and never followed through.
I ended up getting the rest of the subs: cabinet-maker, plumber, electrician, tile, painters, etc. to tear out the old company's mistakes and do the work correctly. The old company did have to pay for some of this.
Hell on Heels gives great guidance on this. If you have $XXXXX, work backward from that as you list each of your "must have" items. Appliances, cabinets, countertops, flooring, and labor will take a bulk of the budget, but many other things are often over-looked: new lighting fixtures, new plate switches (if your old ones are worn or dated and would stick out like sore thumbs in an all new kitchen), under-cabinet or in-cabinet lighting, baseboards, hardware for pantry doors, cabinets, and drawers, new sink, faucets, ventilation----all of these things add up. Another over-looked thing is garbage. If you want the garbage to go into a pull-out in your cabinet, be sure to tell your contractor that ahead of time. All of these things add up, and making changes after the project has started is costly and adds to the time of the project.
When you are looking at appliances, fixtures, flooring, countertops, etc., find out how long it takes to get the product. One of my granite choices was delayed, and I had to make another choice so the project could move ahead. I ordered my appliances early, during a huge sale, and then stored them crated in one of our garages until it was time for them to be installed.
Visit your local stone yards and see what's available, what you like, if they have it in stock, or if it has to be ordered, etc. You'll find great differences between these companies. Sometimes, if you go through Home Depot or Lowe's, it will be more costly because of mark-ups. If you go with an independent company, sometimes, you may get their cost ---it all depends. I ended up getting it on my own, and although it was still costly, I wasn't paying a GC for this.
Look at consumer reports to get the latest on the most reliable appliances. Don't go with the highest end name just because. Go into the stores and look at several brands. Test out the knobs, open doors, look at the overall set-up to see if it will meet your needs. Take measurements: Will the refrigerator fit in the space you plan or will you have to give up some cabinet space for a wider model?
If you decide on glass backsplash, make sure the tile guys are experienced in glass installation. Our original GC sent someone who'd not worked with glass and he ended up ruining it all by not cutting with the correct saw and then wiping over the glass with grout water which scratched the glass surface. Most of it had to be ripped out, re-ordered (which took even more time) and re-installed by the new tile guys. Ugh----don't relish these memories.
But, I do love my new kitchen and the rest of the downstairs renovations we did. It's taken me two years to be ready to tackle the upstairs now, but I learned so much during the previous experience.
Sorry about the length, but I hope some of my experiences will be helpful to you. Good luck and enjoy the process and your new kitchen!
J. F.