Kindergarten Student Being Very Difficult About Going to School

A.,
I was a kindergarten teacher for many years and have seen this scene many many times. I know that is a huge challege for parents, children and teachers. My advice to you would be this... Start the day with only positive conversation about school- how much fun it will be, how much he will learn, etc. Make it clear to your son that going to school is not an option, he has to go, he is a 'big boy' and this is what big boys do. Then, I would bring him to school and drop him off in the manner that you normally do-and leave. The longer you stay the harder the leaving will be. Just say your goodbyes and let him go. He will be fine, as you know from your friends that are in his class. I would also advise you not to volunteer in the class. Not this year at least, maybe in a couple of years when he is in the swing of things. Good luck!

My son gave me a hard time too about going to kindergarten last year. My sugestion is this- sometime after school, sit down with your son over a cup of hot cocoa and talk about it. This really worked for me! My son Evan felt like a big boy, and I think really appreciated the extra attention. Ask him for suggestions on how to make it easier in the morning. Maybe he has trouble with transitioning in general? Hope this helps. -N.

Hi A..

I had a tough time with my son, too, when he first started preschool. I think discussing the situation with him during a calm, non-stressful moment (like over a cup of hot chocolate) is good--or when you're doing something else fun--and asking him why mornings are bumpy. I can also suggest a great book that worked well for us--The Kissing Hand--about a mother raccoon and her baby. It teaches kids that even tho. they're not with mom/dad, they have mom/dad's love with them (and vice versa) all day long. Reading this book together worked really well for us. Good luck! A.

Well, did he goto to a preschool at all to prep him? Its tough for kids that are home with parents, then goto school all day. Tough love. Not so easy, but when you drop him off & he has his fit, how do you react? Talk to him about his behavior before you bring him. Tell him( reassure) that he's fine, you love him & you'll pick him up after school, & to have a fun day. He need to know he's to be a big boy, his behavior isnt acceptable. Dont let him hang on you & cry, scream or whatever it is he does. Remove him from you & walk away. Ten minutes after you leave, i'm sure hes fine. If it doesnt seem to get better, you could speak to your dr about it. Some kids have bad anxiety issues. Good luck !

My daughter is now older but I had this problem in the very beginning...chances are (and you'll see if you peek) within minutes of you leaving he's having a blast already.

I thought of about 10 things I could have her do when she firt came in to school, one for each day- spread out. one day she would bring in a small stamp (with teacher's help) and go around and give all her friends a hand stamp, another day a sticker, etc. By the time she was done helping everyone out, she didn't even tend to realize I was gone. Made her feel proud of giving and making the kids happy, and it tended to take a few minutes. :) Sometimes she would even think of small things to do on her own.

It may n0t work for everyone but it was just a suggestion. It got her occupied enough for me to sneak out the door and not go to work with that awful feeling in my stomach seeing her sobbing as I left.

Good luck.