Kindergarten Retention

L.,
I do not have any personal experience with this, but when one of my kids was in kinder (about 4 or 5 years ago) there was a little boy that was retained because he was not ready. if it was up to the mother she would've had him moved to 1st grade, but he really wasn't ready. So the teacher kept him. So, I would talk to the teacher and let her know that you guys do not want him to go to 1st grade and that he must stay in kinder. Be firm and speak to anyone else you might have to. But it won't be good for him to be moved to a different grade when he is not ready and he will be behind in his work and social life.
Blessings

Your principal is right on. There is little evidence the retention is a good thing for kids. Especially if this child has ADHD and an IEP the data is flat out the opposite that this is not an effective strategy for progress. It is easier to watch maybe, and it feels less intimidating, but it is not going to help him in the long run.

At the heart of the matter is this: he is showing needs in reading already. The window for the most effective reading intervention will close between the age of 8 and 9, and intervention beyond that point will be slow, difficult, and much less effective than if done earlier. Intervention is done based on grade, not age. If you hold him back, you delay what is expected of him and what is considered to be in need of intervention. By promoting him on time, he will qualify for reading intervention from the begining of his 1st grade year (at the very best case, and it could take months or years to get even if he is at age-grade level) The kind of intervention program most schools offer may be called dyslexia intervention, or alphabet phonics, or an orton gillingham reading intervention, but these are his best bet, and you should ask for it as soon as possible because all kids learn to read with these methods, even kids with ADHD (he does not need to have a dyslexia or LD diagnosis-if reading is an issue, and it sounds to me like it will be-his educational needs are what qualify him.) You certainly do not want to delay this intervention for a year for him to be behind his grade peers before they offer this service. The data on this is unarguable. Kids who need reading intervention and are held back loose one full year of reading intervention and are many, many times more likely to experience full scale reading failure than their peers who receive timley intervention.

The other reason to not retain is that your nephew is already at risk of many things that you will not like, because of his ADHD diagnosis. Dropping out of school, drug use, illiteracy, and suicide are a few that are most notable. If he is also older than his grade level peers in high school, he is at even higher risk for dropping out, using drugs and you can add contact with the juvinile justice system to his list of possiblities too. It is not a rosey picture later. This data is absolutley clear.

Espeically since this child has an IEP, push for intervention to bring him to grade level and use the normed references that will be age appropriate. The difference that you see between his scores and his age peer scores will not improve with another year of inappropriate services that do not address critical skills that he will be failing to meet by over a year, not just failing to meet with his peers. He needs educational services that address his issues, no just more of the same that did not already work.

M.

**Read about retention at www.wrightslaw.com. This will be a great site for you as well as you navigate the special education system

I have experience in this. I held both of my kids back in kindergarten. Both of my kids were born really early. My daughter, who is now 12 going on 13, the school thought that she would be okay to go onto 1st grade. We weren't sure. Academically she was pretty good, but was still pretty shy and withdrawn, so we held her back. With our son, he had some of the same academic issues that your nephew has, but his were a result of lacking the fine motor abilities. We held him back 2 years ago. He is now in 1st grade and excelling. He is reading above grade level, we still have some difficulty with handwriting, but I think it's more because of the fine motor issues and not from a lack of understanding. With both of our kids we knew that they would take their cues from us. We spoke to them and explained, at their level that they would be staying in kindergarten. Everyone has to be on the same page, parents, family, teachers, everyone to make it work. They all need to remain positive. Focus on the goods things, they will be a big helper to the teacher and the new kids coming in, etc, etc. With our daughter we kept the same teacher the second year, but with our son we chose a different teacher, just because his first teacher was a new teacher and we didn't feel like she was giving him the consistency/structure that he needed. You might also ask for a formal evaluation. They typically do all of that when they develop the IEP, but they will only do what they feel is necessary sometimes, especially if the parents don't push for something. Remember we are to be advocates for the children in our lives, nobody else is going to do it. I will pray for all of you as you go through this, I remember how difficult it was to make those decisions. Feel free to message me.

Martha R. knows her stuff, L.; however, I question whether interventions in the school system will address your nephew's needs. I live in KS, and we are one of 6 states that does not recognize dyslexia as a learning disability. That means the kinds of curricula that actually help those with dyslexia (and are effective for ADHD, too) are not used in KS public schools. I am trained in Alphabetic Phonics, which is just such a curricula, but in KS parents have to pay for private tutoring. Your nephew is young enough that he would need either Reading Readiness or Gettin' 'Em Ready to Read, both based on AP but for younger kids. I don't know who you would contact in MO, but you could check the internet, or you could call the center in Wichita where I was trained: FUNdamental Learning Center. Their number is ###-###-#### (READ). I'm sure they would be happy to direct you to some place in MO for help. (If I were to hold a child back, kindergarten would be the place to do it, but you must consider ALL factors before making that decision.)

I've seen both ends of this with kids being held back in kindegarten. I've seen ones that still struggled in school but went on to graduate & others who have been held back but had underlying issues the school never figured out & ended dropping out at 16 in the 8th grade. It's a rough decision. My son struggled, but not enough for the teachers to want to hold him back & I could see him falling further & further behind. It turned out & I had thought this but the teachers argued with me, that my son is Dyslexic & informally diagnosed with ADHD (informally because I don't want him on the meds & I try to deal with it homeopathically). Dyslexia is something to consider. Dyslexia affects reading, writing, memorization,copying from the board, vowel sounds, and may other areas. You DO NOT have to write backwards to be Dyslexic. Common school testing (even WESCHLER) will NOT diagnose Dyslexia. Dyslexia & ADHD do go hand in hand in about 40% of the cases. I don't know what has been specified in the IEP but is it possible he may be brought up to par if he gets the one on one he needs, since he wasn't getting it before? Is there summer school...maybe the decision could be made after summer school? Again, if it is Dyslexia, none of this will make a huge difference. Any extra help is good but it will not perform miracles with Dyslexia & it may not be, but it's something to consider. Here's a link to a podcast you can watch & see if you notice any of the other signs they discuss (if you're interested) http://www.webcastgroup.com/webcast/window_new/frameset.a...=

Here's anouther link in case the first doesn't work....

http://www.dys-add.com/index.html

I hope eveything works out for him....it's hard on kids who struggle in school! It's a hard hurdle to get over....all through life!

you have a ton of good advice, so I will just give a quick response.

1) See a speech pathologist. My sister is one and she sees kids who are so far behind because their parents waited to get them in to see if things just developed. It will help tremendously and most ins. cover it. It helps with reading, writing, speech (obviously) and social behaviors if you find the right person!

2) Have your sister go to the school 100 times if she has to. My MIL is a superintendent of a school district and she knows how hard it is to get people to listen. There are always so many people with so many different problems, that sometimes, the quiet ones don't get the help they need. Talk to everyone you can, all the way up to the top of the admin. ladder. Call the superintendent's office if you need to.

3) while the numbers might not agree and the principle may not like it (it doesn't look good for thier numbers), this is thier son and they won't want to hold him back in 1st grade. As long as he isn't already the oldest in class, I think I would keep him in K for now.

Is he a summer birthday? I know some parents feel kids that are just barely 5 by the school year end up behind the rest of the class. Boys do tend to have a harder time with writing anyway. By that same token if he's a fall birthday, he will already be older then a lot of his peers, holding him back he would end up hitting puberty before his peers, growth spurts before them, etc.

Has your sister/brother looked into summer tutoring to help get him caught up? Is that a possibility at this point? What is required to have "passed" kindergarten in your school system? My son is in Kindergarten and they are reading full sentences, writing capital and lower case.. etc. You've mentioned how the principle feels - what about his teacher?

And.. if they had to beg for a year for help from this school - why do they think another year at the same school would help him? I just don't see the logic in that. If this school was part of the problem, I think I would be looking for a charter school, or getting a scholarship to a private school.

Read the book, "A Magnificent Mind at Any Age" by Dr. Daniel Amen. He is the only doctor that truly knows ADHD. He actually does brain scans. There are actually six different types of ADHD so you need to make sure your nephew is being treated properly because the wrong medication can mess you up more. My friend held her son back and said it was the best thing she ever did. Every child is different and the principal doesn't know your nephew's needs so go do the right thing for this child!!

Our youngest was diagnosed in K with a learning disability. It took some begging but our child is in a wonderful school and the principal was receptive but pointed out that it is rarely done for child that age. After he was diagnosed much of his behavior issues went away which were probably more out of frustration than "bad kid". We were recommended to hold him back and we did. Best decision we made. We believe if we had let him go to 1st then he would have been frustrated and it would not have been good. What made it easier for him too was that we requested and it was approved for him to have his K teacher who he adored.

I retained three of my four boys in kindergarten. They did well and because they were older, they were very good students. All four of them have graduated from college and have good jobs. I recommend letting boys have at least two years in kindergarten. Good Luck!

.

Hi L.,
The things that you've mentioned--recognizing letters, dealing with ADHD, writing issues--- are some of the very things that I address at OnPoint Learning Center here in Columbia.
You can check out my website at www.onpointlearning.org for more information.

C.

When my brother and I were kids he should have been held back in kindergarten, but the school was not for it. My mom still thinks it was the wrong decision to this day to let him go on to first grade. He had a lot of the same issues as you are describing. When he went to first grade, he was almost instantly labeled the "bad" kid or the "dumb" kid or the "lazy" kid. The truth was--he just wasn't ready and really needed an extra year to catch up. He whole life when we were kids he always made friends with the kids that were a year behind him. He got special help with studies, but it never seemed enough and he was never on a par with the other kids in his class. I think he compensated by acting out for attention and this caused even more problems behaviorally. I felt so bad for him--struggling just to get C's, he hated school from the get go. I really believe and so does my mom, that if she just would have let him go at his own pace and held him back a year instead of forcing him to be ready---things would have been a lot smoother for my brother and maybe he could have enjoyed school more. He sort of started off on a bad note. It must have been tough to be the kid that just didn't do as well as everyone else and always be playing catch-up =( I would absolutely have him held back a year if that is what is needed and find a new school if they won't work with your nephew.

I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL> but what I have seen I feel keeping him back NOW is a GREAT idea. I know someone that the kept her daughter back in kindergarten for speech and she is now in fourth grade. and then I have seen where they held the child back in fourth grade and he seems VERY embarassed. Small school EVERYONE KNOWS> I would push this. he needs to stay back. My daughter is in kindergarten. And she can read. but she has a hard time getting her thoughts out. So they are thinking about putting her in special needs. ALL she needs is speech and language. So I have to be her VOICE> This boy needs more help and 1st grade they move on. He needs to stay back now. There are plenty of kids out there that are older than their classmates for other reasons. If they want to move him on for SPORTS> he wont be able to play anyway if he cant get the academic part of it. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

honestly with his IEP I would not retain him, they will work on him at his level and he will be with kids his own age. You also don't know how much he will pick up this summer in learning and get caught up. Is he going to summer school? They help more one on one in the special programs for kids on an IEP. Kindergarten is more social and learning to cooperate with others, they play a lot and yes they learn a lot but more of their learning is through play. I would go ahead and advance him to 1st grade and then determine whether he should be retained in 1st grade but not a fan of retaining kids in Kindergarten.. It is also hard on the kids to watch their friends go to the next class and they are stuck with the "babies" which is probably how he will feel if he is retained back in Kindergarten. If the teacher isn't suggesting it and would know more of what he is capable of in the classroom and most of the time kids in kindergarten get retained for social skills, not so much what they learned as they will review a lot in 1st grade and will advance in reading and writing more but with his IEP they will work with him more in a sped class part of the day to work on the areas he needs more help in.
I do know that retaining kids really is more difficult on them in high school. They absolutely hate being 19 and graduating high school. They tend to drop out more because they feel they are too old to hang around with the immature 16 and 17 year olds they have to deal with in school all day. My niece and nephew were both held back and absolutely hated their junior and senior year because they felt more mature and older than their classmates and just couldn't wait to graduate and get on with their adult lives. They didn't even care about walking at graduation. Seniors are supposed to have fun and enjoy that last year not dread every minute because they don't like being with immature drama queens anymore. There is a big difference between young adults and teenagers so before retaining a kid think about how old they will be their senior year of high school. This is why they do not like to retain students in grade school and have sped programs to help them get on track with the other students because there is a higher dropout rate in with kids that were retained at any grade level.

I have no concrete experience or studies to cite, I am just the mom of a first grade boy. Let me tell you I am AMAZED at what the kids tdo in first grade! They are reading well, creatively spelling unfamiliar words, doing lots of math, even fractions! Just telling you this because it clearly sounds to me like to socially promote him to first grade at this point will set him up for academic disaster. First grade is pretty demanding. All the best to your nephew.

First grade is even more fast paced than kindergarten and expectations are high. If he's still struggling to write his name, among the other challenges you've mentioned, I would seriously consider holding him back. Our son also has ADHD. Has your nephew started medication yet? If not, that will make a huge difference when he does. Once he's able to focus, his progress should go quite well. However, he has a long way to go to be able to keep up with first grade, so my personal opinion is that he'd benefit from that extra year to catch up. Also, if he does catch up and exceeds expectations part way through the year, couldn't they just move him to first grade? That might be something his parents suggest to this principal as a way of meeting half way.
P.S. Also seek input from his psychiatrist and behavioral therapist (assuming he's being treated to some degree for the ADHD?) to see what they think.

When you have a child with a learning disability, it is hard to rely on the school system for anything. I totally disagree with keeping your child in the current situation. Homeschooling is the best option.
BUT if you must keep him there, nothing is wrong with holding him back in Kindergarten. You need to work with him at home as well, which I trust that you are.
Good Luck! =)

Wow, I just can't imagine promoting him to first when he's having trouble with writing letters. My daughter is in kindergarten now, and it's so tough. I hear first grade is even worse! Other than the ADHD, has he been assessed for any other issues? I don't know much about learning disabilities. I'm sure they're not diagnosed until much later, but it sounds like he may have a learning disability. The parents should look into this if they haven't already.

C.
www.littlebitquirky.blogspot.com

Hi- I will second what others have said, buckle your seatbelt for 1st grade! I am amazed at what they are expected to do and how much academics fill thier day. I personally think it's way too much but most of the schools considered "good" are moving very quickly. My daughters best buddy since Kinder was retained and did her second year of kinder in my daughter's class. She is a great kid but just had some issues reading/writing. Can't speak much to her academic level now but she seems to be dong well and honestly, other than the very beginning of her second kinder year, no one has ever even mentioned it. Never has she been teased, she is socially very happy and secure & has lots of friends. They are in 2nd now and it's just not an issue among the children. I would consider listening to your heart, if you feel he's not ready this is the easiest and least self esteem damaging time to do it.

http://www.nasponline.org/about_nasp/pospaper_graderetent...

Oh my gosh I went through the exact same thing. The first thing to remember throughout your ordeal is that YOU ARE THE PARENT and the principal is not. They just don't want to retain your son because that would look bad on their school records. You make the decision, not them. Be strong!!! OK, my other advice is to retain him. We ended up retaining our son in the 1st grade. He is still struggling in 5th grade. I say it is much easier to go over the motions of kindergarten again, and you will have another year for him to mature. Also, the kids won't remember your son being with them in kindergarten so much, but they will in 1st grade. At first my son wasn't happy about our choice but he soon made new friends and they all forgot about it. Also remember the homework issue. They give homework in elementary school!! If he can't do it, that will be a huge issue in your house as you try to teach him also. He will probably be very frustrated. Hope this helps, and by the way, I reread again and know you are writing about your nephew, not your son, but I didn't want to rewrite everything over. Sorry, and good luck!!!

I don't have firsthand experience, but I am NOT a fan of social promotion! You are right that it would be easier to retain him now instead of later, and it sounds like he could really benefit from it. Have the parents looked into transferring schools? They may want to see if other area schools have availability and speak to their principals. I thought, after the ENORMOUS failure we've seen nationwide thanks to social promotion, more administrators were backing off from it. Sorry there's is not!