Kindergarten Ready?

Updated on June 30, 2011
C.A. asks from South Lyon, MI
36 answers

My husband and I disagree on whether our son is ready for kindergarten or not. To be fair, I will not give my opinion in regards to which side I am on; however I will provide the facts to you as we know them.

-Our son turns five years old in the first week of July.
-He is one of the smaller ones in his daycare class (preschool); however not the smallest and comes in 'average' (slightly over 50%) on the height and growth charts.
-He knows how to recite and write his ABC's
-He knows how to write his name and other words
-He can easily put together a 25-50 piece puzzle
-He has a short attention span and at times needs to be told repeatedly to do something
-He interacts well with other children and does not appear to have any problems with social interaction
-He has been in a structured, academically driven daycare since infancy
-His preschool teacher says he is ready for kindergarten and that holding him back could cause behavioral problems due to lack of challenge as academically he seems above average than other kids in his preschool; we were just told this a couple weeks ago at his preschool parent/teacher conference.
-A relative of ours thinks our son lacks maturity and recommends we hold him back; this recommendation comes from our son having to be told repeatedly to do something and the fact that he is average on the height and growth charts

What do you think?

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So What Happened?

We are sending him to Kindergarten. He is ready. I know it and my husband knows it. We are in agreement now. I think he felt the pressure from him Aunt and Mother who spent two days with him recently; his Aunt has only met our son one time before as she lives out of state and that was two years ago. And my husband's mother also lives out of state and sees our son about once a year. My opinion was that our son was probably restless and my in-laws who are known for having shorter patience for children led to the discussion...which I was not present for. Thanks for everyone's feedback. If there truly is an issue, we will see it in the next year and will discuss further before first grade. His pre-k teacher says he is so ready!

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

He sounds more than ready to go. If size mattered many children wouldn't go for years. Many children seem on the smaller side when they really are not. As for having to be told to do things more than once that is very normal. I would go with his preschool teacher's advice. If you still have doubts go to the school he willbe attending and ask to speak with the Kindergarten teacher, they would be more than happy to discuse this with you. Believe me there will be younger children in his class.

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L.H.

answers from Detroit on

Sounds like the big issue of sending him or not is because he has to be told repeatedly to do something.... well, my twin boys just finished kindergarten and I volunteer in the classroom practically daily and let me tell you - almost every single kid in both of their classrooms have to be told repeatedly what to do, all day long! He'll fit in just fine!! I would send him.

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T.R.

answers from Tulsa on

My vote is to start him now. If he's not ready what's the harm? You hold him back and make him repeat the grade?? Better to give him the chance then to not believe he can do it.

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

Ummm, if we waited for boys to mature there would be 50 year olds still in pre-school.

Does your relative have an educational background?

Listen to the teachers. They know your son's abilties better than you because they act differently with teachers. I was SHOCKED this year when I saw the little year end video of my son doing all KINDS of stuff he doesn't do with us! :)

Good luck, he'll be FINE!

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Send him! And since when is being average in size a sign of anything?

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Every time I see a question like this I wonder "Why do you think your son will fail before you even give him the chance to succeed?" It's only Kindergarten!

Now, I do think that if a child is not ready for first grade they should have the option of a transitional first grade where they can catch up in their areas that they need to work on.

I do think that holding a child back in any grade is very detrimental to that child for the rest of their academic life until they graduate high school. Every friend they make will want to know how old they are then start wondering and ask. It will be something they have to deal with until they are in college where they might just say they took a year off.

Research brain development. Many "experts" say that kids start a stage of development where their brains turn on and they start absorbing knowledge. It takes time and sometimes it isn't noticeable until they are in first or second grade. It was very noticeable in my grand daughter when started in Kindergarten and in one of my grandsons it was the Summer before third grade. They just start "getting it" and are at their age level unless they have learning disabilities that interfere.

Give the child a chance to succeed first, not expect them to fail.

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K.R.

answers from Spokane on

This is a no brainer to me, send him to Kindergarten. If he is socially and cognitively and physically ready, then he is as ready as he's ever going to be.
All five year olds have to be told repeatedly to do things. As he gets into the routine of Kindergarten he will start to do the expected tasks automatically, and if the teacher needs to remind him three times to hang up his coat, then she will... that's a Kindergarten teacher's job, to teach social skills along with academics.
There is a curve of maturity in a classroom, just like a growth curve. Some kids are going to be short, some average, and some tall. Some are going to cry at drop off, some are going to have a hard time sitting still, some will not know how to make friends on the playground, and some will be perfectly behaved and well liked by everyone. A child's height is no way to measure whether or not they are ready for school, and if he's getting along socially well enough not to be kicked out of his daycare, then I'm sure he'll figure out elementary school socializing just fine.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I think he sounds like every Kindergartner I've met in September over the last 10 years! The preschool teacher is right and the research supports her suggestion. A "mismatch" between academic demands (too high or too low) and your child's ability will pretty consistently result in behavioral issues.

Unless your relative is a developmental specialist... take that opinion with a grain of salt and enroll in Kindergarten. Since when is being "average" on the growth charts equivalent with being delayed cognitively? I don't recall that correlation in any of my graduate work in child development. My son is consistently at the 15 %ile in height and his daycare provider has suggested switching him to a preschool b/c he's exceeded her program.

Those two things have nothing to do with one another and stature stopped being a contributing factor in grade-retention many years ago.

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with others; send him to kindergarten and see how he does. In kindergarten there is a large spectrum of where kids are in maturity, but for most of them they are able to adjust well to being in kindergarten. Since he has been in a structured preschool since infancy and is ready academically, I don't see why you wouldn't put him in kindergarten. If after a few months he doesn't seem to be adjusting well, then maybe you could hold him back another year, but for some reason I have this feeling he will do fine. Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Starting kindergarten is never about academics - it doesn't matter if kids know their ABCs or their numbers. Not at all. Academic preschools can stress the informational content of their curricula without placing enough emphasis on other skills - the fact that your child does not follow directions could indicate an issue requiring intervention, or just more time needed to mature. Your son "interacts well" meaning that he is social and probably separates well - but he cannot function in a group in terms of following directions, and my guess is that his kindergarten class will be twice the size of his preschool class and perhaps with only one teacher and no aide. A class with 22 kids needs to follow directions the first time, whether it's a fire drill or the time to move to a new station - otherwise, there is chaos in the room!

I would be concerned that this preschool, for all its emphasis on academics, cannot figure out how to challenge your child! What is going on there?? So much for their credentials, at least with this teacher! I wonder if they want the opening to bring in more kids who will be there for several years? It's a business, after all.

I would look for a transitional pre-K program in a new setting. That will give your child a chance to adjust to a new program, showing or working on his ability to transition and learn skills at following directions.

My son was like yours - bright, social, coordinated. But he was on the small side, and he needed time to mature. I wasn't interested in having him go to Kindergarten, do poorly, and then have to repeat when all his friends went on to first grade. I put him in a program to develop independence and get him used to a longer day, with more expectations of him and more enrichment. It was the smartest decision we ever made. If you unsure, I urge you to wait. If there is even a question, be conservative.

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K.C.

answers from Orlando on

Send him to K!!

He is ready. I agree with previous poster saying if we waitied for maturity we would have 50 year old men in preschool! Well Said!!!

From what you listed he seems ready! Honestly if he's not ready his prek teacher would have told you, or at least wouldn't have said what she did. I wouldn't listen to family members, at least in our family everyone knows everything about everybody. You have to learn to take that with a grain of salt.

I think that if there is a problem kindergarten teacher will catch it. I don't think there is anything wrong with repeating a grade, especially k or 1. The kids usually don't notice. I taught first grade for many years in a low income school, that had a lot of retentions. The kids would talk about it, but no one was ever teased or made fun of, they really didn't notice that most kids do not repeat grades! It is more beneficial for them in the long run, and teachers do NOT make those decisions lightly. After a year of struggling the kids take comfort in the fact that they actually know what's going on. Their self confidence soars and they are able to pick up on the things the missed the year before. I am not saying your child will need to be retained (he seems right on target for now) but it really bothers me when people have (and then put in their kids heads) that retention is a totally negative thing. Now I don't think it's a good thing, and hope I don't ever have to decide this for my daughters but if it is what's best for them then I will do it happily. :)

My two year old knows all her numbers, shapes, colors, letters, and letter sounds, but is wearing 12 month clothing. I don't think size has anything to do with intelligence. :)

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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Hi~
I am opposite of most of your posts on this answer. I have two boys and one girl who have summer birthdays(May & June). My oldest sounds a lot like your son..and we put him in Kindi when he was 5. It was too young. I absolutely disagree that holding him back will cause behavioral problems. It's allowing him to mature and be ready to sit in class and follow directions. It was not until after school started that we found out that most boys who have summer birthdays do not start school until they're 6 due to maturity. That being said, every child is different. We ended up holding our son back in the 1st grade and it was the best thing we could have ever done for him. If we had known not to start him until he was 6 we wouldn't have had to hold him back at all.
It's a hard decision. For us, our other two kids will not start school until they're 6. Trust your instincts.

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T.M.

answers from Lansing on

I think he would probably be fine if you started him now, but maybe he would have a few extra struggles and considering all the budget/staff issues our schools in MI are having I think it's a legitimate concern that "little" issues could become "big" issues. Teachers do not have the same time or ability to give our kids today as they did ten years ago. I'm not picking on teachers in any way (I love & respect teachers!), but that's just a reality right now. You want what's best for your son and so it's something you need to think about. In my experience there is absolutely no downside to waiting and starting him next year.

We delay started 3 of our 4 kids and I wish we had done it with all of them. Each went to at least two years of preschool before Kindergarten. None had academic issues and by delaying them they are all the top of their classes in every aspect...grades, maturity, responsibility, maturity, physically, self-esteem, etc. I recommend anyone hesitating on what to do to go ahead and delay starting them. It's a very competitive world we live in now (unfortunately) and so I believe giving him an extra year will only help him.

Good luck!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Send him to kindergarten. He is 5 - that's really the relevant qualification. He will learn the rest. I don't see how being average in height and weight can count against you. Also - 5 year olds lack maturity - they are 5 - when they are 40 or 50 or 60 they will have maturity (maybe).

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D.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi C. A---It's a tough question. AS others have done, I'll tell you our story. Our oldest, a girl, has a late Nov. birthday. She had been accepted into a head start program for at-risk pretty much based on her shyness. She did great in school, however and we were told she would be fine. This really gets me, but the teachers told us that if there were any academic challenges, they usually catch up by 3rd grade or so. Frankly, based on her personality, we weren't worried about academics, we were concerned about emotional issues in middle school...girls that age can be downright evil. We held her back and academically all was good. The social part still was a challenge so I'm so thankful she was a year older going through that.

BTW...Amanda is 27 now. When she started school the state of Michigan was talking about changing the start date to September back then. I wouldn't hold my breath.

Our other 2 are boys. Thomas has a July 17 birthday, about the same time as your little guy. He did just fine, but he's a second child.

We moved to Illinois when our youngest was 4. He has a late Sept b'day. He could not start school, even tho his b'day was 3 wks after it started. He was actually reading at that time. (Much credit goes to his brother as they shared a bedroom...T is 4 yrs older than Ian.) So yes, he sometimes had problems working without disturbing others...he was a bit bored but we never felt that to be an issue, more so for the teacher. You just have to be his advocate with his teachers and have them give him extra work to challenge him.

Bottom line, as I see it, he will have to grow up fast enough without starting school young. Let him be little for one more year. As others have said, you know him best, but I think that you'll always have the opportunity to have him advance a grade, which would be so much better than having to hold him back. He will most likely, if academically gifted, be put in advanced classes as he gets older, and will be in a great position as he looks toward college. Feel free to contact me if you'd like to talk more. Good luck...D.

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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I did not read all the responses because I'm sure everyone has their own thoughts/ideas and opinions. I'll just relate our experience with our now 21 year old.

His birthday is August 29th! Apparently the State of Kansas cut off is September 1st but the school district we lived in at the time moved it up to August 31st. We went ahead and started him. Technically he was 4 years old for 2 weeks in Kindergarten. I will tell you that in all honesty the ONLY time there was an issue with him being young was when all the buddies started driving at 16.
It was never a social maturity issue. Never an athletic issue. And never an academic issue. Even when we transferred the kids to a private college prep school when he was in 6th grade. The school tends to teach 1-2 grade levels above the local public schools.

So in my opinion, from my experience if you and your husband (but that's the issue) feel he's ready, start him.

Oh, and as an FYI we had the opposite issue with our daughter born October 1st. She was born driven and started wanting 'homework' when her brother was in school so we would give her things to do. I remember calling the district offices asking if there was some assessment she could take because she was so ready for school. Nope, she wasn't 5 by August 31st. Too bad. We did have her in a 'pre-kindergarten' preschool already and did it a second year not knowing they just repeated everything. In my eyes it was a complete waste of time but she felt like she was at school.

Good Luck

K.H.

answers from Detroit on

If the only thing holding you back from putting him in is that he needs to be told repeatedly to do things I'd go ahead and put him in. Don't all 5 year olds have to be told repeatedly to do things? Besides, it's a bit different when the whole class is doing something all together anyway.

Another suggestion... ask him. Ask him if he wants to go now or wait. Even if you don't go with what he says, it's nice to have him weigh in on it too.

Oh, and size really isn't an issue in my opinion. Kids grow at different rates at different times. Even if he's one of the smaller boys now, that doesn't mean he won't be one of the bigger boys next year or at some point in the future. As long as he's not abnormally small, I don't even see this as being something to consider. If he's academically ready and emotionally ready, send him.

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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

My son's birthday is July 29th. Really that is late in the year. He was shy, not focused and he did go to pre-school. I put him in kindergarten (he was recommended for pre K). He was the last to get his assignments completed and his attention span was not good. It's not that he wasn't smart, he just wasn't mature enough. And my son was on the short side too.

At that time our school district had Junior 1st grade. At the most there was 15 children in the class. He went through Junior 1st grade and it helped him TREMENDOUSLY. Not just in school but outside of school as well.

If this program is not available in your school district, I suggest having him wait another hear. Again it is not about his intelligence, it is about his maturity.

There are numerous parents who have held their child back and the benefits are numerous.

One last thing. Would you rather have a mature 18 year old going off to college or an immature 17 year old going off to college. It is about the child not the age.

I wish you well with your decision.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

First let me say that you and your husband know your child better than anyone and sometimes you have to just go w/ your gut (realizing that you and your hubby disagree makes that a bit harder). Next, his preschool teacher spends a lot more time with him (most likely) than your relative and is a trained professional so her opinion means more to me than the relative's. Additionally, kids are different in school than at home so the teach sees the student not the kid side. I often have to repeat myself w/ my daughter (4 yr old that is ready for K but w/ birthday in Dec so she can't start) but her teacher doesn't.

Based on the teacher's assessment, no delays, no socialization issues, and he clearly makes the cut-off...he sounds very ready to me. I don't consider size an issue as every age has a range of normal and with children they tend to even out (and lets not forget about growth spurts). Even if a child is small, I don't think they should be held back (just as you wouldn't promote based solely on size if they were larger than normal).

While kindergarten kids vary greatly with what they know ahead of time and socialization is just as, if not more, important it does sound as if your son is off to a great start. To respond to another poster, it probably not that they can't challenge your son but rather it would be hard to do while not being too advanced for the other kids that would be new to the program and not already know what your son does.

Once you decide what to do, update us so we know what your opinion was and the outcome...please.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

I would wait. It is my understanding that most people "cut off" at about April or May. Interesting that "back in the day" 5 year olds went to kindergarten, end of story. When my oldest was 5, I sent her because of all the same reasons you have listed. By the time she got to 7th grade it was real clear I should have waited. Most other kids were at least a year older and since most parents were holding back the boys it was hedging on 18 mo to 2 years older. (she has a November birthday) By the time she was in high school she was 13, some kids were getting their driving permits by the end of 9th grade. Oh my! Needless to say she did have some difficulty with the social part of school. My other 2 girls I did hold back (1 August birthday and another November) What a difference in the middle school/high school social stuff. WAY better. On the other end of that, my oldest went off to college and thrived. She married the best guy in the world and now has 3 beautiful little ones. Had I held her back, we would not have that now. All kids are different. Some of the other posts have said if he doesn't do well in kindergarten, you can always hold him back and have him repeat it, it's ONLY kindergarten. True, but how will he feel if that happens and all his friends move on to 1st grade? If you have any doubt about his maturity level NOW....it will most likely really show up when he is in middle school. Hope this helps!

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B.P.

answers from Detroit on

I would definitely send him to kindergarten. He sounds more advanced than my daughter who turned 5 in February, and she'll be going to kindergarten. She can write her name, but not really any other words. Worst case scenario is that he repeat kindergarten, but it doesn't sound to me like this will happen.

S.L.

answers from New York on

think about WHY he has to be told repeatedly to do something. Does it seem like an inability to PROCESS directions? does he hear you but seem confused? if so play lots of games, board games, Simon says etc and he will get lots of practice following directions. send him to k so he will get lots of practice, but be aware there may be problems. Or is it he is UNWILLING to follow some directions and knows the consequences will not occur until he has been told something 4 times so he is in the HABIT of ignoring the first 3 times. Is he better for the teachers at pre K? if he is better at school (they recommend sending him to K!) then it is a behavior problem not a listening or maturity problem and you need to amp up discipline. Tell him from now on he gets time out if he ignores you when you tell him something, then make sure you have his attention when you tell him something, get down to his level face to face and talk softly and with respect, dont expect him to tar his attention from video or TV or playing outside GET his attention before you talk. then tell him whatever get dressed or turn off the TV after this show, then consequences if he ignores you!! and send to K a good teacher will have consistent discipline.
Are there other indications he isnt ready? does he cry easily? Pout? talk as well as the other children? dress himself put on his shoes and zipper his own sweatshirt without help?
about the size thing, does you hubby want him to be a football star? then size will matter some people hold boys back to help them do well in sports is this common in your area?

J.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Wait, would be my recommendation. With the the different cut offs out there for Kindergarten, there exists the possibility for 2 full years difference in age between the youngest and the oldest in a class, so while right now that isn't such a big deal, in a few years, that makes a tremendous difference in maturity and what kids are interested in. Personally, I would rather my 11 year old be playing with 9 year olds than 13 year olds! The primary reason for waiting would be social and emotional maturity, and while he may seem to be right where he needs to be in that regard now, in a few years you may notice that he seems much younger than the other boys in his grade and while he still wants to play with action figures, the other boys are checking out the girls! That could be difficult for him socially as well as emotionally. Academics should not play a role in my opinion. A good teacher should be able to take a child from wherever he is academically and move him forward. They aren't going to let him sit in a corner doing things he already knows how to do, they will put him in a group of similarly leveled children and challenge them accordingly. You can let the school/teacher know that this is what you expect to happen and you want your child to be challenged and make sure that this is happening. Just because he is academically "ready", whatever that means, doesn't mean he wouldn't benefit from another year of growing and maturing. Waiting a year would give him that much more time become more confident and ready to succeed. While he may be ready to do most of the academic requirements in Kindergarten, a few years down the road he may have some difficulty with some of the higher level thinking skills required that another year of brain development would allow him to be better prepared to handle and be successful with. Often I think that as parents we think it is somehow an indication of how intelligent, or not, we think our child is if we choose to wait a year to send them to kindergarten. I think this is especially true when it comes to our oldest children. Why are we in such a hurry to stick them in school? They will be there for the next 13-20+ years! There is no rush! Let him stay home and learn through play and whatever other academic/recreational pursuits he might be involved in. When you start, it's for keeps. You can't go backwards once he's there. It sounds like he is in a very academic environment in his preschool and getting all the social that he needs. He isn't towering over the other kids so waiting a year won't make him stick out like a sore thumb on the play ground. You don't get this time back, wait a year and enjoy having him with you as long as you can because once he's gone to school, it's a whole new ball game! Good luck with your decision!

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

I think you should let him try kindergarten in the fall. If there are problems, you can always pull him out or have him repeat the year next year. He'll catch up on growth eventually, and I'm a strong believer in giving kids challenges.
Good luck in what you decide.

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M.V.

answers from Detroit on

It sounds like you are describing my son pretty well. He turned 5 yesterday and will start Kindergarten in the fall at a Catholic school. He had to be tested in order to get in and he passed the test. So if he's smart enough to start, why wait?

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V.H.

answers from Detroit on

Worth noting that Michigan is thinking of changing the cut off date for the start of K and school to Sept 1st from Dec 1st from 2012-2013 school year so there may be a smaller intake that year and a bumper one the year after as kids get reassigned to the new correct year.
My twins have their birthday end of Sept and are the second youngest in the year. Didn't matter to them one bit - if they are academically ready then send them. I'd rather have the smallest kid in the year than the one who towers over everyone and they all think he's been held back a year or 2 since he's way taller than everyone else "Must be really dim"! Unless you want your kid to play on the football team then size is NOT an issue. He's average - that means most of the kids will be exactly like him so he won't stand out as the baby or the giant in terms of size - sounds perfect to me!

J.M.

answers from Dallas on

You can always give kindergarten a shot and see how it goes. My parents put me in Kindergarten when I was 4 and a half. The cutoff at the time was Dec. 31 and my birthday was Dec. 2 so I didn't turn 5 until half way through the school year. I was very intelligent and could even read before entering Kinder, but my maturity was not where it needed to be by the end of the school year. So I was retained and went through Kindergarten again. It was no big deal at all and I don't even remember it. I was never teased for repeating even when I was older. I have gone on to be very successful academically and have even earned my Master's Degree. I still love learning! It was just one of those things where everyone thought I was ready, but I wasn't. So go with your gut and if you think he's ready send him. The worst thing that can happen is that he'll have to do it again.

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E.C.

answers from Detroit on

I haven't had a chance to read through all of the responses yet, but for my own part, it sounds like he is ready. If you're really concerned though, you could look into whether or not your district has a 2 year kindergarten program. This is a program designed specifically for the "young" fives (kids with late in the year birthdays). My son has an early November birthday, and while I knew he was ready for kindergarten academically, I wasn't sure if his emotional maturity would keep pace with other children. Luckily, we had a 2 year program in our district, and he has just finished his first year. It was a wonderful experience for him, and he really thrived. By the end of the year, he was reading at a level appropriate for starting first grade, had taken huge leaps in his drawing ability, and was happy and comfortable in the school environment. He and all of his classmates have opted to stay with the 2 year program (you can opt out if you find that your child really is ready for 1st grade), giving him another year to mature emotionally.

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D.P.

answers from Detroit on

In Michigan the law helped us decide when we were faced with this issue, your child has to be 5 before December 1st, in order to attended kindergarten. We have one that was born in January, who had to wait until the following year to start, and one born in August who made the cut off date. The oldest was an older 5 year old, who was oh so ready to start, and ended being bored. The younger is just that a younger 5 year old, who is now going into 4th grade but doing just as fine as the other older kids. I think your sone sounds ready, one thing to keep in mind is that boys do mature slower than girls, no real way around that one. Good luck with your decision, but I do think he is def ready to go. :-)
Also, momma knows best!

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Our school district offers a pre-kindergarten program that is for those kids that sort of fall in the "gap" between preschool (for 4 year olds) and those more ready for kindergarten. Our cut-off date is December 1st and one of the qualifiers is having a late birthday (between Sept.1 and Dec.1) as well as other factors (trouble with social interactions, etc.) One of my friends will have her twin sons doing the pre-K program because while technically they are old enough for kindergarten (they turn 5 in Oct), she can see that there is no way they will be ready (late birthdays, being boys, being twins, some speech and maturity issues, etc.). And pre-K is 5 mornings a week (1/2 days) while kindergarten is full-day, so that should help with the transition too when they do go to kindergarten (they did go to preschool this past year for 3 mornings a week). Any chance that there is pre-kindergarten class that would be an option for you?

EDITED TO ADD: Just noticed you are in MI too - so the cut-off is Dec.1. Since his birthday is July, I don't see where his age is going to be an issue. Back when I was in school, a kid his age would have just gone to kindergarten, period. My b-day is September and I started when I was supposed to start and did fine. My brother's b-day is November and my parents elected to hold him back a year (he either repeated another year of preschool or repeated kindergarten, can't remember which) - he did fine too, but he would have been one of the youngest kids in the class rather than one of the oldest. Really, your son falls right in the middle as far as age is concerned. And like others have said, most 5 year old boys have issues with acting mature and listening well - an experienced kindergarten teacher should know this and know how to work with them. I would be more apt to trust the preschool teacher's opinion - this is their job. And really, repeating kindergarten, if necessary, is not the worst thing in the world - my nephew had to repeat it, and my SIL was not happy, but better that than 3rd or 4th grade when there could be more stigma involved.

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

My son starts Kindergarten this year. He will be 6 two weeks after school starts. So, if your son and my son were to go to the same school then my son would be almost a year older than him.....the WHOLE time they went to school. So, when my son is 16 and getting his drivers license your son will not be. When my son starts getting interested in girls...your son may not. (i don't know if that's a probem! lol) i am sure there are a lot more instances, but those are the two that always pop out at me.
My other son turned 6 a week BEFORE school started. It has been great having him be a bit "older". And really, he is not a bit older! I was surprised at how many parents kept their summer birthday children at home one more year and started them at 6.
Kindergarten is really NOT all about academics at ALL! It's about learning how to listen, get along with your peers, and play fair. Yes, there is number and letter learning, don't get me wrong..but the other stuff is more important. My second son, who is starting kindi this year, can read and is doing basic math (addition and subtraction) But that doesn't mean that I think he wont be challenged! I think he will....it's tough learning how to get along with 20-25 other students and listen to your teacher! lol
You do what you think is best...but if he were mine....I would wait. He's got at least 13 years of school ahead of him!
L.

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K.W.

answers from Benton Harbor on

The preschool teacher is the expert, go with what she says, especially if your son is your eldest child. If it doesn't work well, its not uncommon for children to repeat Kindergarten.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

Is there a young-5's class you can put him in this next year? That'd be perfect. I wouldn't move him on to K because you may have trouble in 3-5 yrs when the work gets harder and he's expected to sit in a desk and pay attention a lot more. I'd give him another year. Sounds to me like the preschool teacher is tired of him. In our family, those who were held back till they were 6 or almost have done far better through school than the one who was sent on because the preschool teacher encouraged it. It never hurts kids, especially boys, to have another year under their belt, and his small stature makes this even more of a good choice.

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A.G.

answers from Detroit on

If it were my child I would definitely send him to Kindergarten. Kids mature at different ages. If that is your worry for sending him on, holding him back with younger, immature kids isn't going to help. He will learn to act more mature when he is around kids who are more mature. As a school counselor I do not believe in holding kids back because of maturity, especially at this age. He sounds like a smart kid and I agree with his teacher. He could very well begin to have behavior problems because of not being challenged, feeling like he isn't good enough or his school work isn't good enough. What happens if his grades suffer after being held back, will he stay in preschool again? I work with several kids who are 14 years old and in 6th grade. I don't know the reasons they were held back in elementary but now they're in middle school and they're so much older and more mature than the kids in their class, they feel like they don't belong, they aren't doing well in school behaviorally or academically. But they all got promoted to the next grade because having a 15 year old 6th grader is ridiculous. With the budget cuts and class size increases teachers don't have the time they used to to work with kids individually and kids fall through the cracks.

Sorry to ramble. If my child was doing well academically but was behind in maturity I would send them to the next grade. I would talk to the Kindergarten teacher about my concerns and keep in touch throughout the year.

I wish you the best of luck. It's a hard decision to make. My daughter will be in preschool in the fall and I am getting so worried about what schools will be like in 2 years when she enters Kindergarten.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

I'm glad you are sending him. You just described the typical kindergartener!

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi, Well my daughter's birthdays both fall in October. They both satrted K @ 4.5, because when they testd at school they said they were more then ready. Keep in mind ths is a private school. In different ways they both surprised me, however your child may be ready scolastically but the social aspect is very hard.
You may have seperation anxiety and that is very difficult. For maturity reasons boys are slowere then girls. I think that is something we just need to overcome. My thought is give it a try and if It isn't right for your child you can always pull out and reattempt next fall. Good luck and hope this helped.

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