Hello!
I have a daughter who turned 5 today, March 16th. Her brother turned 4 on Feb 23rd of this year. My daughter says she wants to go to kindergarten this next fall 2010, but in a way I would like to hold her back and send the two together the fall of 2011. I have idea what to do or if I should just put them in separate years. I think it would be really neat to have them together, as they are only 11 months apart. I just dont want my daughter to be upset in the future that I held her back and also will she be too old when she starts kindergarten?
Also the parents at the school I went to werent very friendly. Shoudl I take that into consideration and send them to another district. Im really nervous about the whole school thing and just want what is best for my children. Is a bigger school system better than a small one and I wonder if the parents wouldnt be so clicky in a bigger area.
Like I was saying we are new to the school, but people werent even willing to smile at us and I just got a really cold feeling from this. Please help me!!
I would send her to kindergarten in the fall. She would be so much older then the other kids if you waited another year. She would be almost 6 1/2 starting kindergarten! I think that is a bit old.
Hi there!
About the issue of putting them in school at the same time... I think that you should let your daughter go this year and send your son next year. It might be cute for them to be together at this age but when they are in 4th and 5th grade they (and their peers) are going to be wanting to know why they are a fully year apart (almost) and in the same grade. Also, I have ones that are just under 14 mos apart and I understand that yours are probably super close right now but they really do need their "separate" lives as well, especially as they get older. My son is 5 (almost 6) and my daughter is 4 (almost 5) and I can tell you that 6 really is too old to be starting kinder unless there is a developmental reason to hold back. Your daughter will feel special that she is a "big girl" and in school and your son will get special one-on-one mommy time during the day.
About the parents, I would worry less about them and more about the vibe you get from the teachers. Yes your child's school can be a good place for social networking for you but it doesn't need to be. There are plenty of other places to meet other mamas (esp if you and your 4 year old are hanging out all day) and in reality you will only see those people at pick up/drop off times (if that) and at like 3 school functions during the year (back to school night etc). Good luck, I know it is hard to be new but go into it with an open mind and I am sure you will see that things work out very well! :)
If you hold your daughter back she will be 18 at the beginning of her senior year in HS and have the option of signing herself out when ever she wishes...something else to think about!
I have to agree with the others...try to embrace them as individuals, they don't always need to be together....and what if they do not get along as they get older? I would not hold my daughter back, besides they are only 1 year apart...that means they will always go to school together...except when she starts K, and then one year when she goes to Jr. High and then her Freshman year of HS....so being in the same school for 10 out of 13 years is pretty darn good, if you ask me!
I'd say let them be individuals and let them have their own school year. We have some 10 months apart and they will be in different years too. K's best friend is 3 1/2 months older than her and is a full year ahead and it's hard, but if you put the younger one in Pre-K at the same school they may not even realize they aren't in the same grade until later.
a lot of boys do better when they start later, and I wouldn't wait any longer on the daughter, so I suggest daughter this fall, and son next year.
that's a bummer that you got a "cold" vibe from the school. if there is another choice school, I'd check it out. ...soon, while there are still openings
kids want their own firsts......send her when she should go, let her have this special time on her own & your son deserves the same the following year
send the older one to kindergarden and enjoy those 2.5 hours at home with the younger one.. the younger one should be going to preschhol so he is ready for kindergarden.
If ther is another school nearby.. (not necessarily anohter district) check it out. there might be a charter school that would be great..
but certainly find a school that you like for all kinds of reasons.. I dont know taht I would care if hte other parents were friendly..
I would care about the teacher the number of kids in her class, the curriculum..
I would keep them apart. They will need to develop their own independence and have a sense of space. Most schools will actually split up twins into two different classrooms - so likely the school would suggest the same for yours. Good lucK!
From how you present the information, it sounds like your reasons for wanting them together is because it's good for you, not necessarily for them.
Personally, I'd let them go the different years for many of the reasons the other moms have stated and give them a chance to each develop their own friends, their own identities, etc.
Though my sister and I were 2 years apart in age, at one point in time we were in the same Math class, and it was really hard on her. She went to summer school to prevent that from happening in the future and being compared to her younger sister again.
Hope that helps.
My daughter will be 5 in two weeks, and she will go to Kindergarden next year. I don't understand why you would want them to be in the same school year unless they were both born right around the cutoff date in september. No offense, but I think it's kind of a weird idea.
I think once you are enrolled and actively going to the school, you will find some parents that are friendly, maybe some won't be... as with anywhere you go.
If your daughter is ready, I'd send her to school this year and not wait. If she isn't ready then waiting would be fine. It irritates me when people and places are clicky and unfriendly. It's hard to know if it would be like that else where or not. It's possible that finding another district would help but it also could be worse. This school might also change by the time your kids are in school. I found homeschool groups, churches that were friendlier than others and some that were very clickish and unfriendly. I never knew why it was like that and it irritates me to know end... =) I wish you the very best!
Love,
Jaimee
For some reason, kids all know eachothers birthdays and ages, and when someone in class is a year older - which your daughter would be - they all think that they repeated that year.
I don't know where they got that from (not from me!) but I have heard it more than once, which means it gets talked about in school.
As far as clicks go, they are everywhere.
Look at parent comments about your school at this website:
www.greatschools.net
The only way you can send your children to a different school than the homebase school is if that school did not meet the standards of learning for the year. THen you would have a choice as to whether you would like to move them.
So consider the school they are supposed to go to their school.
Your children are very close but why hold your daughter back if she is ready? Why put them together so they can potentially be in the same class and then the competition is extremely tough for the younger one who may be just not at his sisters levell, as she will be almost a year older and as a girl they are natually more mature. So you are potentially setting your son up for a major disaster in school before he even starts.
My advise is to keep them separate, they are separate people. Let her shine this coming year in Kinder and give him the extra year to get to her level.
It's about what is best for them not what is cool for you.
When my husband and I got married we had 2 - 5 year olds. It was a mess trying to keep them out of the same rooms in school because they spent all their time together here at home and they didn't want to be together at school too. One year, they decided, (kindergarten) that it wouldn't matter, but it did, they fought there just like they did at home over toys etc......so I would suggest you NOT hold your daughter back. Besides what if one of them fails a year and has to be held back, then they won't be in the same class anyway. And are you thinking ahead? You'll have them both graduate at the same time. Go off to college at the same time........believe me even a year apart is nice. I have an Uncle that is 14 months younger than I am, and we loved being apart since he lived next door to my house!!!
Good luck.
My brother and I are 13 months apart and THANK GOODNESS we were in different grades. We were a year apart and it made things much easier in High School especially. It was hard enough having him so close in age and having a lot of the same friends, I think that it would have been even harder had we been in the same class.
Plus, I think there is something special about doing some of those milestone things independent from your siblings... drivers education, graduations, prom, etc.
And, on another note, my son turns five next week and I can't imagine holding him back for a year. I think he is more than ready for K. I would take your daughters development into account before the age of her brother and his development. How do you know he'll be ready next year? What if he ends up needing more time and you held her back for no reason?
Good luck with your decision.
J.
