Kindergarten - Carlisle,PA

I'd start him this year personally. You have his Pre-K teachers telling you that he is ready....listen to them.

Why would you expect him to fail before even giving him the chance to succeed.

That's what I always think on this type question.

if he is ready, then don't hold him back. My son will be 5 in July and we had that thought at first too, but he is so smart and is even starting to read already, we are not going to hold him back. I agree with you. If there is no reason to hold him back, then don't do it

My story is very similar to Sue H's.

My son turned 5 last July. I watched him through 2 years of preschool. He did very well academically. He had lots of fun and made friends. But there were just too many little thing nagging me. Many days after school kids and moms would hang around and let the kids play on the playground. It was those times that I often could tell that my son was less mature than most of the other kids.

I talked to so many moms about this. Several said, we sent him and he did fine. Many said, we decided to wait, and it was the best thing we could have done for him. A few said, we sent him and everything seemed fine until 3rd grade or 7th grade and that's when the age difference and the maturity really caught up with him.

Not one parent ever said, I wish we had sent him sooner.

I took my son to the Kindergarten screening, and he was recommended for the districts "Transitional Kindergarten." It is a kindergarten class specifically for kids who made the cutoff but need a little extra time. His class has 9 boys and 2 girls. Most of them have summer birthdays but not all.

At our parent/teacher conference, his teacher said that the class was doing very well, but they were definitely behind the regular kindergarten. She commented that in the past (she's been teaching for over 20 years), these kids would have been struggling the whole year and that she was so glad she had the luxury of going at a slower pace and really meeting their needs. She said they will be right on track to excel in Kindergarten next year.

My son will be starting Kindergarten next fall at age 6, and I know we made the right decision.

Both of you should make an appointment with the school guidance counselor. Both of you tell her how you feel. Ask if your child will be the youngest in the class, and if not the youngest, where in the age range would he fall. Don't talk about all of this in front of your child, so don't bring him to this meeting.

Ask the counselor to test him for kindergarten readiness. Bring him in for this testing and then with an open heart, listen to what the counselor says. If he is 50/50 on her testing, ask her if this were HER son, would she put him in school or keep him in preschool for another year? Listen to her answer. Then decide.

This is exactly what I did, M.. I wanted very much for my son to go to school so that he could be 2 years behind his brother. I had worked so hard with him doing tons of early intervention. I almost felt like I had failed when the preschool teacher told me that I might want to consider holding him back because he would have been the youngest in his class.

When the guidance counselor told me that if I could financially afford to keep him in preschool, that's what she would do, I let go of my pride and thought about what was best for my son. I have never regretted it to this day, and he's in 10th grade. I made the right decision.

Dawn

a very wise teacher once told me, "I've never known waiting not to work for the child". She also said that many of the "young" students are ready for KG, but then fall emotionally/socially behind by 2nd/3rd grade.

Here's what I know from personal experience:

both of my sons went to KG at age 6. They LOVED being the oldest in the class, the 1st to drive. I love that they are the oldest.

of the children in my circle who started at age 5 (with cutoff BDs), quite a few of them struggled either academically or socially.

with my younger son, he was 5 just days before the cutoff. Academically, he aced the KG screening....but it took twice as long for him to complete the testing. The teacher knew our family, knew he knew the work, & just waited it out with him. Based on his screening, I requested the district's Bridges Program. I still find it fascinating that the class had only 1 girl in it! The rest were all boys....most of them facing the same situation as my son: not able to stay focused long enough to be ready!

I totally agree with what Sue H. says. Being the elder student is an advantage. Good luck with your decision.

In K they will learn social skills, how to follow along with class routines, in some K's they still get a "quiet time" in the PM for the first half of the year where some fall asleep (lights out, no talking, bring pad and blanket and pillow). One of my kids did 5 afternoons and 1 did 2.5 days (mon morning + tue + thurs or mon PM + wed + fri, our town only pays for half a week). Saying goodbye 5 times was harder than 2.5 times, and with some full days they get a taste of what a 1st grade day will be like (except with mostly play and just little learning). If your town pays for full week, then I assume the schedule will also include some quiet time for part of the year since lots of kids at 5 cannot make it through a full day. I would find out more from your school district, register him, go through the welcoming process at your K and then you can always decide later to keep him at preschool another year (repeating the 3 day class with new kids who HAVED moved onto K - which may affect him wondering what is wrong with him that he did not). I would also go visit K while it is in session and let him see what they do there if he is a sensitive child, that way he knows where he is going and what it will look like, etc. If he is bright he will be very bored in preschool another year in my opinion. All kids are "childish" at age 5 and K-teachers are aware of this. I would send him on unless you have strong reasons to believe he will fail, but then he can always repeat K where at least he will learn letters.

I don't think there's really a right answer here. My thought is you'll probably be just fine no matter which decision you make. I wouldn't stress over it too much. Sounds like his birthday is right near the cutoff border, so he'll have classmates very near his age no matter which year you start him.

Personally, I'd start him in August. He'd be a six year old Kindergartener and he might be bored!! My daughter was a 6 year old Kindergartener and almost died of boredom so I skipped 1st grade when I homeschooled the next year. She's 16 now and doing fine. Just my opinion. He very well might be fine to wait too. Good luck!!

I sent my son on time and he has an early August birthday. He is doing just fine. My daughter has a late June birthday and she is also doing fine. I think as long as his preschool teacher said he is ready he is.

As a social worker, I have seen children that are sad being held back because they feel like mm and dad didn't think they could do it. It affected self-esteem. Also, sometimes kids can be mean about it. Hopefully, not but it has happened.

I hope that helps.

Well they start the abcs all over again so he will be ahead that way but I guess I have the same question. Is he emotionally a little young? I would start him in pre k 5 days a week and see it take a toll on him

I'm an elementary school teacher and I'm 100% for waiting one more year for students whose birthdays are in July and August. They need one more year to grow and mature- especially boys. Most of my lowest kids in the class (socially and academically) are ones who have summer birthdays. Good luck!

The birth order/age in class depends the followers vs the leaders. Fall and winter are the leaders-spring and summer are the followers. How would he fit in?

In my opinion, there is nothing to figure out...he starts K. If he had some delays or the teachers saw some reason for concern (pre-k teachers or those that do the evaluation for the school) then you would have something to consider.

The men usually want them older/bigger for sports later. We started our son in K when he was 4. His Jr. K teacher did not recommend him going to K. I laughed. He thrived and was ready. It was a full day kindergarten. All of the dads made comments that they held their sons back for sports later. What????? I was like, "Well, I never want to hold him back from learning." To make a long story short, he's 9 and in 5th grade - doing very well.

His younger brother is 5.5 and in K, since he didn't seem quite ready. Now we started doing 1st grade work and he's not missing a beat. I even gave him a math worksheet for 2-3rd grade and he rocked it. Surprised the crud out of us!

Our 3 year old is writing her name, knows all of her numbers to 20. Can write all of her numbers to 20. Knows all of the letters and their sounds. She starting to put words together and is very close to reading a clock accurately. She can tell me the hour, but gets confused on the exact minutes. We don't push, but she ASKS to do homework. We follow her lead. She'll be 4 and in K this next fall.

I'd start him and if it doesn't work out, then move him back, but if it DOES work, then let him go! Their minds are like sponges....and if he's ready, don't hold him back! If he's ready and bored, then he'll hate school. If his teachers think he's ready, do it!

I think if the Pre-K teachers think that he will be fine, he will most likely be fine.

Our daughter's bday isn't until mid Nov. and we are considering having her start K next fall. She is in an older Pre-K class and is keeping up with the others and seems to be excelled in her social skills too (something to consider).

Something we will do to help us make the final decision is have her tested this spring. If she tests over a 5 year old developmental age in spring, she will be fine in K this fall. I believe she has been there for a couple of months already. If you ask about the testing, know you may have to pay for it out of pocket....maybe around $300 - 500. Just an option that may help you decide.

I have also taught elementary. If he is of age and is doing well, he will probably do well. The kids that struggle the most are the ones that are close to age (or even older) and really do not understand the abstract concepts like letters are symbols for sounds and those sounds and letters make words. Or numbers are symbols for the amount of something and can't understand what counting actually means. The others that struggle are the kiddos that are socially not ready. They may be immature compared to their peers and cannot make friends, have a hard time taking turns and sharing, have frequent tantrums, etc.

Another thing to consider is do you think he will fall to the bottom of the pack, the middle, or the top. I know all parents want the kids to be at the top, but the middle is a good place too. If you think he is at the bottom, then hold him back for a year.

Does he have friends in this class that are going on to K? Would they be at the same school? Would it crush him to not go on to school next year with or without his friends?

Parenting is hard, isn't it?!?!? Good luck mama!

Is it full day k? What are the reasons as to why he wants to hold him back- social, emotional, behavioral, intellectual??

You don't mention why your husband wants him to wait. Is there an issue? My daughter is an October birthday, she turned six a month and a half after she started kindergarten and she is fine. I think if I would have and even could have started her the year before she would have been too immature. I think either way would be fine.

What does your son want to do? I was just fine with my kids skipping that year. 2 of mine did miss the cut off and 2 of my daycare boys missed last year. I enjoyed teaching them at that age and each of them have done well in school. But then again, I homeschooled my girls for a long time. So it didn't matter much to me at the time. They weren't so keen on graduating later.

I'm glad to hear that it is a "little disagreement" since I don't think there are any wrong answers here - either way your son will be fine... That being said, I feel like the preschool teachers (in our area, at least) err on the side of keeping kids in pre-K longer and only recommend sending kids who they know will do well in kindergarten. You don't mention what your husband's reasons are to wait - are they academic, social or other? I know people who have worried about everything from who gets their driver's license first to being big enough to play the sport they want. In our case, we put emphasis on academics, so we chose to send our - May birthday - twin boys this year. They are a full year younger than many kids in their class (since so many do hold their kids these days), but I don't regret the decision at all. They are excited about what they're learning (without being bored, which was my biggest fear), their teachers love them, and they have risen to the expectations we've set for them (maturity, responsibility, accountability, etc.) I don't share this because I think you need to make the same choice we did, but because I know that there are so many who don't want little boys to act like little boys these days. Do what makes sense for your family and embrace the choice - don't look back or second guess yourself...

Oh, and one other suggestion... January is still really early to make the decision, so you may want to do the legwork to keep both options open. If you can afford it, pay a deposit to keep a pre-K spot open for him but also do what's necessary for kindergarten registration. It's a lot easier to pull out of a school than to try to get in at the last minute...

You don't say why your husband wants to wait a year, and knowing that is important for any of us to give any kind of informed opinion. So -- ask yourself: Why do the teachers say he's ready? Ask them for specifics and examples. Do they think he's ready academically? Is he also ready socially? Can he move from activity to activity when told, and not fuss or get balky? Will he listen to and obey a teacher well? Can he share readily with other kids? Does he keep his hands off other kids as is appropriate? Ask your husband: Does he just want another year for you son to mature?Would he like your son to be one of the older kids in his class throughout school as opposed to one of the younger ones? Does your husband think your son really does need more time to learn basics, to work on sharing, etc.? Does your son still need naps and/or a lot of down time he will lose entirely when he starts K, especially if it's full-day K? (If he's in a half-day, 3x a week program now, believe me, going to full-day, 5-day K is a huge, huge change and very demanding on kids physically, mentally and emotionally). Try to keep your daughter's experiences out of the mix -- she may have a totally different personality and maturity level from your son.

Ask all these things. And remember that a general rule of thumb is that older kids in a class -- generally -- tend to do a little better because they're more mature, better able to cope with the larger classes, etc. And boys, generally speaking, take longer than girls to mature, so an extra year would not hurt. Also, it's better to wait to start K than to find out there are issues later and have to repeat K or an elementary grade. (I dearly wish our godson had not started K when he did; he was academically very, very bright but not socially or emotionally ready despite his age, and struggled until about fourth grade because they kept moving him up "so he won't get bored academically." His K teacher wanted him to repeat K and his parents did not so he moved on when he probably should have done K again, not for academics but for maturity reasons.) I'm not saying that would be the case here but I have seen other kids -- all boys -- who would have benefited if their parents had just started them in K a year later, and given the kids time to grow up a little.

All this is general; only you, your husband and the teachers have answers. One other thing to try: Go to what would be his school and meet (without your son present) with a K teacher; ask what the expectations are, not just for knowing ABCs and 123s, but for socialization and moving from activity to activity easily. You may be surprised how much is expected from kids this age. K classrooms now are very big and teachers must cover specific curriculua to keep their jobs, so there is not always the gentle, slower-paced K that we might have experienced as kids. I don't know what your daughter's K experience was but talk to her K teacher too.

No one can really answer this question. What are your husband's reasons for wanting him to wait a year? Maybe he sees something you and the teachers don't, from a guy's perspective. Myself and my younger brother have b'days in late August and we started on time. I could have used an extra year. I was the oldest. On the other hand, my brother excelled in school and college and he is the youngest. I think if this was your first born waiting would be a great idea, but since he has an older sister to learn from, it's a toss up. Maybe you and your husband should get together with the school counselor and discuss this with him/her. They are a wonderful reasource in most schools. Good luck!

I think the issue with boys is the emotional readiness. As far as the work, my son was ready in math, but not language arts. So what do you do? First, pray about it. Many parents wait these days and as a homeschool mom, I now understand better why. Each child has a different developmental readiness. Grab a piece of paper and write the pros and cons on each side. It should make things more clear. Good luck and it's really not that big of a deal when you consider that social skills really are rooted and founded within the family ~ and that grade school is merely a prep for an adult life of work and/or college.

If you expect your child to act and know things like a 4th grader or even a 30 yr old man, then no, your son isn't ready.

But, depending on the school, the first half of Kindergarten is assessing abilities. Counting, shapes and colors, alphabet recognition, listening, social skills, handling responsibility, etc. The kids will be expected to know how to follow simple directions and do things independently and not whine or cry about it.

They will not be expected to learn Mandarin Chinese, use Algebra and perform a concerto on any given instrument in K, nor should you or your husband expect him to do so, so I think your son will be ok.

This is all assuming your son performs at the same level as his peers in most aspects.

We are in the same boat with my daughter who's birthday is August 20th. We have decided to hold her and think that is the best decision for us. My best friend is the Kindergarten teacher and says that within the first day of school that you can tell who has had preschool before and who hasn't and within the first week who is the oldest and who is the youngest. She says somehow they seem to fall into place by age and that they younger ones always seem to be the followers. Our daughter has already done 2 years of preschool with 2 half days the first year, 3 half days this year, and next year will go into a 5 half day program. She is academically ready I think but socially doesn't seem to be as mature as the other kids.

My husband and my brother are both late August birthdays as well and both started at 5 and both recommend holding her. For boys especially it is hard with sports because they are competing for spots with others that sometimes are a full year older. My husband says he just remembers everyone was able to date before him, drive before him and it was hard. My brother on the other hand said that kind of stuff didn't bother him but he went on to play college football and they extra year would have made a big difference for him.

Good luck in making your decision. Everyone can offer up opinions but you and your husband ultimately will have to decide on what is best for your son and your family.

One thing I know is that there was a child in the day care center I worked at who was so close to the cut off. He was SOOO ready for Kindergarten. They had talked about keeping him in Pre-K for one more year, but what they were told is that he would be so bored that it wouldn't be beneficial to him. He is slightly younger than the other children, but he is thriving. Another child I know wasn't because of her age allowed to go on to Kindergarten, she has this year before she goes on, and she is so bored at Pre-K, of course now mom suppliments her work at home so she isn't so bored. It all depends on the child. You know the development of your son and if you think he would benefit from another year in Pre-K, great, if you believe he would be bored, it cannot and will not hurt him to go on to Kindy. Younger kids can always benefit from being with children a little older from them. Good luck! I know this wasn't too much help. Would love an update as to what you are going to do.