Kids Behaving Badly

I didn't get a chance to read the other responses, but I will tell you a book that really helped me was 1,2,3, Magic. It sounds over simplistic and you wonder how something so easy can work but if you stick with it it works wonders. Good luck!
B.

K.,
I feel for you lady!! This is VERY normal. So dont think you are a bad mom! And to those people that tell you, you should have more control over them obvisiously do not have kids themselves.
I will have to say, that my 4 year daughter is almost an angel 95% of the time when we go shopping. But she doesnt have anyone to act up with either. Her little brother is too young to run the isle with her. I will tell you that when one of my friends goes shopping with us, and her 4 year old son, they act like complete monkeys!! Its horrible, singing, screaming, dancing, running, jumping on stuff. Its insane. And THEN my friend will buy her son a toy after he acts like that!!! No way! My daughter didnt even ask.
I also give my daughter the pep talk before we go in. I tell her Im not buying her anything, I tell her what we are there for so there is no confusion. I also tell her what the consequences will be if she acts up and I will follow through with it. Today, my sister watched her while I was working. When I picked her up, she was a total smart mouth. I told her she was in her room for a nap when we got home. She screamed and cried about it but by the time we got home she was calm and sweet. I told her to go inside and go to her room. My daughter can remember a vacation from 2 summers ago, she surely can remember how she was behaving at my sisters house 30 minutes ago.
If you can, try to do your errands without them. I know there are times like today when you HAVE to take them with you. But sometimes if you wait until Hubby gets home and go yourself, its so nice to get out of the house and get things done in a timely manner without kids driving you bonkers. I still, to this day, have never taken both of my kids grocery shopping with me. I wont do it, I refuse. I would rather go at 1am by myself than take them with me.
If your husband is gone alot, maybe you could trade babysitting with a friend. I have a friend that lives close, I will watch her kids if she has a bunch of stuff to do and visa versa.
Again, this is pretty normal, but PLEASE follow through with punishment, because they will walk all over you! Good luck! Stay sane! =)

Good Morning K., Geez sounds like my day yesterday also. And I only had 2 little ragamuffins, screaming, begging and wanting out of the double seated cart. I had them in cart in no time, strapped in and ready to roll. Corbin always asks for things, Nope Not Today!!Zane doesn't talk yet so he is a pointer, babbler, screamer at times.
Yup I did swat hands for trying to grab things

Your hubby is a Staff Sgt. How about a little Drill Sgt time with the kid-os! Get dad involved a little more with the bad behavior. Let them know ahead of time, that dad will need to be told of any bad behavior. Not to scare them or to make dad out to be the bad guy though. Then have them Tell dad what they did while out with you.

I do paddle hinnys for really terrible behavior, I don't wait until we get home. One swat usually does it for Corbin. I have left a store also and told them why. Then Corbin got to tell his daddy & momma why Nana had to leave a store. He has always be a awesome little guy to take anywhere, until his little brother got a little bigger. He is turning into a little bugger.

Anyway K. I think I would get dad involved with some bad behavior disciplines. BTW if I had been there I would of helped ya catch the little stinkers and smiled doing it.

God Bless you K., Hang in there hon. Your still the boss

K. Nana of 5

I know what you mean, my 3 year-old bit me yesterday in the store! We left, but I have the same problem, and my 11 month-old is watching taking notes then she starts to fuss too. I hate going to the store anymore! I think back about what my parents and my husband's parents did with us when we were little. I guess most of it isn't legal anymore, but I know it sure worked. We sat in the car most times and I even have pictures with my mother holding her switch! I know my father didn't walk me back to bed a million times every night either! But since we can't use their tricks what can we do??? I try to think of what a teacher or preschool teacher would do, and it seems they mind them better than they do me, maybe bc they live with me and not them! I feel your pain! Believe me, if I'm looking at you when your kids are acting up in the store, it's bc I understand and I'm glad mine aren't with me or I wouldn't ever even notice you and your kids bc I would be too busy fighting with mine! :>) The only people that don't understand are people that #1 don't have kids or #2 don't really raise their kids, someone else does. Good Luck! It will get easier. My oldest who is now 18, I use to ask her if she wanted her spanking before we went into the store, while we were in the store, or after we left the store. She usually tried to behave after me saying that.

My girls are now 11 and 12 and when they were little and acted up in public, we took a trip to the bathroom. They would get a swat or two on the bottom and explained why. If they were acting up we would ask them "do we need to walk to the bathroom?" They knew exactly what that meant. If we wanted to ask them if they wanted to go to the bathroom to use the facilities we asked them differently. After taking that walk a few times to the bathroom, they would straighten up pretty fast. Now a days if they act up, rare occasion now, we ask them and they say "no mam" and behave. Haven't had to "walk them to the bathroom" in many years. Good luck and God Bless.

K.- I have 6 year old twins, a 13 year old boy and 8 year old girl. I have people say the same thing and my oldest two are very well behaved. No one understands who doesn't have very active twin boys.

It is a different ball game. People can offer advice until they are blue in the face but it isn't the same at all. I get tired of know -it -alls giving me advice on a situation that they have no idea what they are talking about.

Ornery twin boys tag team you and they are the center of attention everywhere they go despite all efforts at home. People can't help but make a big deal out of twins and if yours are high strung like mine are -it causes chaos.

Events that are no big deal for parents of singles are catastrophes waiting to happen for parents of multiples. Unfortunately there will always be those people that don't understand. Even the "professionals" (teachers, doctors) had all kinds of wisdom until I stuck them in a room with them by themselves and their attitudes quickly changed :)

Hang in there! If you have anyone that can help you seperate them some you will see the precious moments shine through. They need a break from each other also and to have some of you. I know that is hard.

You certainly have your hands full. Is there any way you can take one or two children with you on errands, splitting up the twins. If not, sounds like the boys play off each others anxieties and wind each other up. Then there is nothing you can do at that point to calm the situation. Age definately has alot to do with it, they are close in age as well. Another possibility if you have to bring all with you is to go somewhere or do something that exerts their energy and stimulates their minds first before errands. They overload mentally so easily at those ages. Go to the park, take a long walk, something that appeals to you and them. Maybe by doing this you can address these public upheavals and control their behavior a little easier. Good luck . Mom of three hear 1.5 to two years apart. I feel your frustation, keep your chin up.

K. I haven't read all the responses but first I want to say I feel your pain at the response of the other parents at the store saying "why can't you control your kids." I HATE THAT!!! Some days are better than others but no one, absolutely no one walks in your shoes and has the right to say that to you. Having said that, can you put them all in a cart? I told my kids they had to EARN the right to walk beside the cart...if they didn't behave, in they went like a baby. And if they wail while they are in the cart you just look at the other adults and say in a loud voice, "Aren't I such an awful parent that I won't buy my kids EVERYTHING they want?" Most adults will just laugh and the kids get the fact that they aren't getting good attention and the laughs are at their expense!

Yeah, sure you can bribe them, but then it sets up a cyclical demand to be bought off every time you go to the store and THAT is not something you need.

I would HIGHLY recommend checking out several parenting classes. I'm not saying your a bad parent, I'm simply saying that these classes helped me be a better parent and discuss with other parents things that worked and didn't work for them. Currently, there are 3 schools of parenting out there...1-2-3 Magic (pretty good and effective if consistantly used...meaning you AND hubby have to be together on this), Common Sense Parenting, and Love & Logic. All of the classes are good but I found 1-2-3 Magic to be the most immediate in response...it's based on counting and yes, time outs. When acting up you count "That's 1" wait 10 seconds, if behavior continues, "That's 2", wait 10 seconds, if behavior continues "That's 3 take xx time out" (usually 1 minute per year old) Time outs only start after they stop the tantrum or loud behavior...no talking in time out or time starts again. Once out, you don't talk about the incident, it's like it never happened so there is no brow beating. Of course, before you impliment this you sit them all down and tell them that there is going to be a new rule of discipline and how it's going to work and what your (you AND your husbands) expecatations are...you should have seen the shocked look on my kids faces when I counted 1 and Dad counted 2! They knew they were in trouble then!

Also, in regards to going to the store, you don't always need to bribe them with monetary things...sometimes you can say, I know you want to watch XX cartoon when you get home so we are leaving now and if you are good at the store you can watch it when we get home...if not, no cartoon (or even no TV until dinner or tomorrow or whatever you see fit). Use cause and consequence to your advantage.

Believe me, I know what you are going through...I have kids 17 mos apart and hubby was deployed 30/36 months from when they were 2-4 so life with no support was a challenge. These classes can really help and most places offer them free and with free child care...check with your Infant & Toddler program or Parents as Teachers program and see if anyone is teaching them locally. It is well worth the time you will spend to regain your sanity. It IS possible and time outs DO work if you are consistant...the key is being consistant...believe me when I say I wasn't a believer but once I committed and really tried it I found that it worked. If you have any quesions or just want to chat, drop me a line.

K.,

Hang in there!! I have raised my 5 kids and help with my grandkids now! So yes, I have been there! Kids learn very quickly that if they don't want to do something this will work, in this case acting up! My kids knew that they got a warning and then if the behavior continued I would swat their butts! Now I have grandkids at least 2 days a week and there are 4 of them and they know that I will swat their bottom if they act up in the store! And I know there are lots of people who think it is wrong to swat a childs bottom, but 99% of the time these are the same people who you mentioned "told you that you should have better control of your kids"!! It's one of those oh so I'm a bad mom if I don't and I'm a bad mom if I do situations!! Oh, those 4 kids, their dad is a Staff Seargant in the Marine Reserves and they know if grandma has a bad time with them dad and mom will know!!

My other grandkids are my son't children and my son does not like spanking his kids. He called me when his son was younger wanting to know would I watch my grandson so they could go to Wal-Mart. I asked him what the big deal was and he told me "he throws a fit and we end up leaving before we get our shopping done". My reply - swat his bottom, oh mom I can't do that people will call the cops on me - how sad that we have become a society where discipline is wrong!!! Well, being the mom I am I told him just punish him for his wrong behavior and he will learn not to act that way, let him get away with it and he will continue acting that way! A couple times was all it took, he is wonderful now about going shopping and he is well behaved in the store!

And as a couple other people have said, keep your word always! If you tell them they are going to be punished follow through! I know sometimes that is hard, because trust me none of us like to discipline our kids, but that is what they need at times. Kids have to know what is and is not acceptable behavior and if you don't teach them who will??

Hang in there and it will get better.

L.

Oh K.....I feel your pain...really I do!! My "baby" is now 26 years old, but I can still remember the days of doing my shopping errands with children in tow!!!
My first thought was try and do your errands when your hubby is home and can either come with you or watch them while you go out alone. My 2nd thought was...don't let a 30 minute drive stop you from following through with the punishment that they earned by acting up at the store!!! They remember what they did...they remember what YOU said you were going to do as a punishment and they ALSO remember that you did NOT punish them as you said you would do. So...why should they mind you the next time you go to the store? Talk to them about what you expect from them before you take them into the store. (I would also take advantage of the shopping carts in the store if I were you...contain them a little bit). If they misbehave to the point that you need to leave the store before you are done with your errands, then tell them what is going to be the consequences of their actions and then..FOLLOW THROUGH!! Spanking, time out, loss of privileges, whatever you decided on...DO IT!!! Remind them of why it is happening and stick to your guns.
You could also try rewarding positive behavior. Set up 3 charts for them and decide on a reward that they really love...a trip to McDonalds...a new DVD....a trip to the zoo...something that they can really look forward to. Give them a goal...10 stickers for behaving well when you take them out in public. Really talk it up...make it a contest between the three of them...which ever boy reaches his goal first get to do something with Mom and Dad on their own.
I Wish I had more concrete advice to give you, I cannot imagine raising 3 little boys so close in age...my first two girls were 6 years apart and sometimes they were a handful!!
Good luck and let us know if you make progress!!
R. Ann
PS and please tell your husband that I said thank you for his service to our country. I know what it is like to be the wife of a military man...my husband is retired after 30 years in the Army and our son is currently serving his 3 tour in Iraq. God bless you all!!!

K., I think this is a twin thing. I have a 19 year old son and 6 year old twin daughters. I never had any problems with my son as he was growing up. BUT, these wild twin girls...is a different story! Especially, when we are out in public. I too have suffered the stares trying to get them in control. God forbid you swat them...I have had the police called on me twice. So, I am feeling your pain.

Just last year, I decided enough is enough. I may not be able to handle them on the spot, but behind the doors I can. So, we will leave and go straight home...straighten out one or both, and go back on our merry way. It is time consuming but worth it. Now, when we go out I just remind them of the last time and place they showed out and what happened when they got home. It took a couple of times to get this straight, but it is so much better now when we are out. I also work with this behavior while we are home. If they start showing out at home...I handle it quickly! Even their behaviors in school has been better, because they know what will happen when they get home.

Good luck K.. If you need to talk more, you can send me a private note.

Here's something that worked for me years ago. We went shopping with a friend whose son was a terror in the store. My usually well behaved son decided to mimic his behavior by running through the store, hiding in clothes racks, etc. We left and I explained to him that I would not take him with me again until I was sure he could behave. For the next two weeks every day when his father came in from work I got dressed and explained that I was going shopping ALONE. I would drive away, find a place to park where I couldn't be seen from the house and read a book for about an hour then go back home. When I finally let him go with me again there was no behavior problem at all.

Never forget that children are smarter and have better memories than some people give them credit for. Your children are all old enough to understand that they have to pay for their actions.

Best of luck - it sounds like you have your hands full.

S.

Three and four are the ages at which children go through a developmental stage called "disequillibrium". Meaning they are beginning to assert their independence from the adults in their life who "control" them. They want to have more control, and hate not getting their way. The best way they know how to do that is to push your HOT buttons with tantrums, hitting, screaming, etc.
You did the right thing by leaving the store immediately, however, of course, that didn't get your prescription refilled if you couldn't even use the drive thru. Next time that might need to be your first option, rather than trying to go in the store at all. DON"T feel guilty about disciplining your children in public. As long as you can remain calm, speak in a firm, normal tone, and get right in the child's face so you have eye contact, and be consistent. You are not responsible for what others think, so ignore them. They aren't trying to raise three active boys aged 3&4.
My advice (having raised a severely ADHD son who ALWAYS threw tantrums in public)is to first make sure there are no medical reasons for their bad behavior. They will eventually move into the next stage of development "equillibrium" and be more calm and easy going, unless there is a medical reason that they can't help. Allergies, reactions to some food additives, and if they are tired or hungry, can often contribute to a child's acting out behavior. Time your shopping trips accordingly, so you don't have tired, hungry kids who can't handle being told no. A firm CONSISTENT response from you is paramount. They will ALWAYS test you at this age, so you must ALWAYS say no. If the behavior continues even though you make sure they know there will be consequences if it doesn't stop, leave them home. I stopped taking my son shopping with me at three, and either shopped after they were in bed, and my husband was home, or I hired the neighbor girl to come over and babysit. If a babysitter is not an option, you're stuck with shopping only when Dad's home to take care of the kids.
If the problem persists after they turn 5 & 6, your pediatrician may need to be consulted about medical options. Allergies can often be controlled through diet, ADHD needs to be controlled with medication, and behavior modification. There are many good resources on the internet for more info on ADHD, and many different medications available now that don't have the "stigma" that Ritalin had. If they DO need medication, be willing to try different kinds, because some can have unpleasant side effects,i.e. stomach ache, that another med won't cause. Pills alone won't necessarily work for the long term, and you may find counseling helpful as well. Either family counseling, or individual counseling for the kids when they are older.
Don't fret, you will survive, and they will too. Good luck.

Love and Logic, plan for the bad behavior and tell them that if they start you will be calling a babysitter to come and pick them up!!!! And have all of this set up ahead of time!! So, as soon as they start, call the sitter and have the sitter take them all home, not for fun things, to go to their rooms or just sit and do something till you get home. When you get home, have an ice cream cone with you, or something that tells them that you had a nice time out by yourself, and let them know how nice it was to not have to deal with fighting and screaming kids while you were out!!!! And after one or two times of that, you should be able to just say "If you act up in here i will have to call the sitter!!" It is fun!!!! It does not hurt them, and you will have a much better time running errands!!!! Make sure it is a sitter who won't baby them, make sure they have a little bit of a mean face!!!! HAHA!!!! Believe me it works!!!!

Wow. I've been there. But I've been lucky enough to have the option not to take them with me after an incident. My oldest daughter threw a fit in Wal-Mart after I said no to buying a movie she wanted. Her brother was just over a year old and sick and we were there to get his medicine. (this was about 15 years ago,lol) She threw herself on the floor and everytime I tried to pick her up she went limp and would fall to the floor, all the while screaming... And yes people walked by and judged me, making comments. Finally a friend came up and offered help (she pushed the cart and my son to the car, while I wrestled the monster child, uuugh). Once we got to the car she ran from me into the parking lot while I was buckling her brother into his carseat.... Scared me to death. I grabbed her, swatted her on the bottom, buckled her in and made sure she knew everytime I went shopping and that she couldn't go and why. She is now a great, respectful, almost 18 year old....Didn't think that would happen based on that day...lol
Mostly what I have learned with 4 kids...Don't make your instructions optional, and don't sound at your wits end. Instead of "Please don't embarass mommy" try "I will NOT put up with rude behavior. You WILL act respectfully in the store, or the punishment WILL be *insert consequence*" (of course modify to you childs age)And no matter if they have calmed down or not, when you get home, remind them of their behavior and punish. You have to be persistant with kids that young. you may have to put them back in the corner, timeout spot, or bed...over and over. Eventually they will realize you mean business....Some kids take longer than others.
Spanking is always a last resort with us, but a swat on the bottom can get their attention. Raising kids isn't easy, but it is worth all the nightmare days. Do your best. Stand your ground, and DEMAND respect. If people choose to comment, either ignore them or come back with something... "Since you know so much. Give me the magic wisdom you possess, or SHUT UP and mind your business."
If that doesn't work, buy the kid leashes... One trip on those and they might get the hint... Just do what works for you and the heck with nosey bystanders.
Good luck and Happy parenting... :)

Oh yeah...A kitchen timer works great for a lot of stuff with kids. 5 min. in time out and add a minute for everytime you have to tell them to behave, be quiet, or put them back. When my 6 year old is acting up, I just make a production out of looking for the timer or ask someone to get it for me. He hates that because he knows that until the timer beeps he has to behave or it's just going to be longer.

I feel for you. I also have 3 boys ages 9, 7, & 2 1/2 that I fell like I can't take out in public sometimes. I will tell you that the "We'll leave if you can't behave" strategy only works if you're somewhere they WANT to be (like a park, etc.). If they don't want to go to the grocery store & you tell them you'll leave if they don't behave, then they figure all they have to do is act up & they get to go home to their toys. I think sometimes you just have to take a deep breath & say, "Look, we HAVE to be here to get..., & if you'll stay right with me we can do it quickly. If you can show me your best behavior, then you can have a piece of candy (or some other treat) when we get to the car". I guess I've learned that you have to give them a reason to want to behave. It may take time, but trust me, if people look at you funny it's because they don't have kids, NOT because they have perfect ones! Good luck, and be encouraged!

K., you are on the right track. It's great that you talked about what you wanted from them at the store. You can get this under control. But it will take a bit of planning and practice.

Here's exactly what you need to do. Plan some errands you can make each morning. After each errand, you need to have something fun planned for them. It can be stopping at a park, going out for ice cream, going out to Dollar General to get a cheap toy, anything really. But you need to talk about it the day before. Build up the anticipation of this event. Then explain to them that they only get to do this thing if they are good in the store during the errand. If they are not, then you go home without. Here's the real point to this. They should NEVER go to any park or any movie or any fun activity without first having to behave properly through and errand for you. If you routinely do these things for them, but avoid your own errands for a time when dad can watch the kids, then you are setting yourself up for them only caring about their stuff and not caring one little bit about your stuff.

If you can't or won't go to a park often and it's not in the budget for buying toys or getting ice cream or hitting kids movies, then you can still handle things another way. You have busy boys. They NEED their active times. So even if you are doing most of it at home in the backyard, you can still apply these principles. These kids are old enough to go straight home and strait to bed! They are old enough to be fed a very simple (read bread and water but not really) lunch and go to bed for an early and longer than usual nap time.

They key is to start teaching the kids that there are many things that have to happen in life before they can have their fun. Even things like sweeping and mopping. My kids know I will NOT see to their fun, or even their physical needs like eating until I have my chores done. I get up early and get right on my chores. Errands are part of my chores and they know it. This is how I get such wonderful compliance out of my daycare kids and my own when they were young. I have been known to go to the McDonald's with the biggest play land I can find that takes me 20 minutes to get to. I do it for a few reasons. One, I want them to really love the place and the one closest to me is dinky. But better yet even is that they have to be good in the car. I've been known to get almost all the way there and drive back home and put everyone to bed because they fought in the car.

Here is the BIG kicker. I hope you can find a grandparent or friend to help you with this. The one thing that will change a child's behavior faster than anything is to be left out. If one child is misbehaving, you can take that one child to someones house and take the other children on the special outing without them. Of course, you have to sit them down and explain the new rules to them and prepare them in advance for this idea.

Suzi

i wanna start by saying you are normal & your boys are normal and anyone saying different is a jerk! Then, my only offereing for a solution is to ask if maybe the long drive is getting them bored/worked up right before you get in the store... maybe pulling up in the rear of the store and making them race each other for 3 laps right before you go in... let their legs stretch, let them giggle or be rowdy in a positive way instead of them releasing it negatively in the store... if you don't think that has anything to do with it then I'm not sure what to suggest because it sounds like you're doing all the right things; so again i reassure you that you are all normal the best of luck! :)

Dear K.,

Just a thought..maybe they are behaving badly in the store because they WANT to go home? When they misbehave, go to the car and sit until they calm down (this is just like time out, except they have to sit in the car). When they have calmed down, go back in and finish what needed to be done. AND then when you get home, because they misbehaved (again) in the store, they not only have to serve a "time out" in the car, BUT then when they return home, ask each child to bring you a toy (the first time they pick, after that YOU pick what toy). When all the children have brought you one toy, take it away for IDK, 2 days and do not let them have it back during that 2 day time. Tell them it is for misbehaving in the store, yet again, etc. With today's gas prices its rediculous to drive all the way home without getting done what needs to be done. I hope you at least got to finish the errand(s)?

Hope this helps. Take care and God Bless :)
THANK YOU to your husband and family for your/his service to the people of the United States :)

Mom of a Marine,
T.

P.S. After reading some of the other responses, I have to add that my son, the Marine, also has ADHD! Quit using this as an excuse people!!! I taught him (without medication) that he is still responsible for his behavior and that he had better stop and think before acting...

I also did not count up to 3, I counted down to 0. To this day, if I say 0 to any of my three children (now 20,19,16) they will immediately stop whatever behavior it is :) Take care everyone.

My only advice is to try not to bring them. My mom used to do as much shopping as possible without us on the weekend when my dad was home. My mother in law still cringes when she tells the story of having to leave a store because the twins pulled over a display. (luckily of greeting cards and not something breakable she would have had to pay for!) Obviously, this isnt going to be feasible all the time, but maybe trying to go during their best part of the day. I know my daughter is going to be crankiest and least reasonable right before lunch and in the afternoon, so we try to do any grocery or whatever shopping first thing in the morning, generally right after breakfast when she's been well fed and is least likely to throw a huge fit in the store. Good luck, and try not to let strangers get you down. Do what you need to for your family, and ignore any criticism!

Check out the book "Making Children Mind without Losing Yours" by Kevin Leman.

Try a behavior chart, when they do something right they get a sticker, then so many stickers and they EARN something, a special time with mom or dad, an ice cream treat, use your imagination! After earning one thing, the others will be competing to get those stickers!!
Be consistent any time they act up remind them that they won't get a sticker this time.
My daughter did a vase of fake flowers and she would take a flower out every time they acted up, boy did they hate losing a flower. I'm sure you could find something that would pertain to boys, pebbles in a jar, whatever. Just make sure it's something they can't make their own adjustments to. Then be consistent in your actions.
As for the car, I watched my grandkids for awhile and we would take forever sometimes to get somewhere, because I would pull to the side of the road when something was going on, they learned fast that they would have to mind me or we weren't going anywhere! That van would get quiet FAST when I'd start to pull over LOL.
They also spent lots of time with their noses pressed to the wall, I found that they didn't care if they sat in a place for a while, but if they couldn't see what the others were doing, they were motivated to be good.
Hope you can take care of your problem soon, don't give in or it will only get worse. Good Luck

I do hope you can get some help with your children so you can enjoy your time at home and at the store. But discipline don't start in the store, its starts with control at home. Training your boys to obey your voice and your words, and you following through with what ever discipline you have chosen and being consistant, consistant, until they know you mean what you say, because you will certainly need that in their teen years.
Leaving them at home don't teach them anything, that like putting up the remote, telephone,etc out of their reach instead of teaching them to leave it alone. That way when you take them somewhere else they know not to touch those things, its all about train, we train our dogs to obey us, but we don't think our children need bounderies and training to learn the basics in life. The better the trainer with love and consistance the happer the child will be. I know I have trained up 3 of my own and helped with 4 grandchildren, and they are all a delight to have come to our home, or to take to the store. Good Luck and don't give up looking for the right way to help your children.

K., take this with a grain of salt from a mom of only one pretty well behaved (so far) 2 1/2 year old...have you tried putting one under your arm, freeing up two hands for the other two? i mean potato-sack style. lol...that was the image i got when you said you don't have enough hands...you poor girl! i don't know but i would definitely be limiting my trips to the store, too. it sucks that sometimes it's unavoidable...all i can say is as the mom of a toddler i definitely don't judge a mom with three young boys having trouble in public! (for me personally...i'd be moving to spankings at this point, if you haven't already. something has to get through to them...and i have a feeling being the "pc" mom and trying to do timeouts is worthless with three rowdy boys under 4!)

PS, i also agree with what someone else said about the people "judging" you probably don't have kids...or maybe they're so old that when they were raising them they just beat them into submission (i seem to get more reproving looks from old people, when mine is being a brat)...either way...i would pity them rather than feel bad about their stares. anyone with kids knows how it is...and knows that in ten minutes you might be the happiest mom in the world getting a big group hug from your crazy boys! hang in there!! it's worth it in the end!

K.-
I am sure it was worse for you than anyone else. I do feel bad for you. I think we all as Mom's have been there. It isn't anything you did. Lets hope tomorrow is better! :)

Hey K.,
I feel your pain. I have 4 girls, and I've started going to the store at night when they're all in bed. At least, for groceries. We have a Wal-Mart Supercenter, so that's possible for me. If your husband comes home at a reasonable hour, maybe you could go then, and leave the boys at home.
Or, you might have to get someone to sit with them for a little while. Either way, it's really better for all of you if you go without the kids.
At least, this is what's finally working for me. Good luck.