Kid in My Daughters Class Really Getting on My Nerves!!

I don't think I would say anything to the parents, as it sounds like they won't be receptive to anything you say anyway. It also sounds like DD has a pretty good handle on things so all you can tell her is to go ahead, make new friends, and don't feel bad that this other girl can't handle it. Your DD needs to understand that the other girl is trying to manipulate her and make her feel bad about something she should not feel bad about. This other girl sounds really controlling and insecure and there's no reason that should become your or DD's problem to solve. And if the troop leaders and teachers at school are aware of it, and are willing to intervene, let them deal with it. If you want your DD to say anything, maybe it could be something like, "Wow, that's a really rude thing to say!" or "What a mean thing to say!", which puts more emphasis on the behavior or thing being said as being mean, rather than the girl herself being mean.

That's really awful that this girl would refer to another child as "chocolate" - apparently she's not being taught any good manners or social skills at home. I would just make the teachers at school aware of it and if something comes up, hopefully they can talk to the parents themselves - which may carry more weight and cause less friction than you trying to say something yourself.

Don't talk to the parents. That isn't going to go well.

Your daughter needs to keep doing what she is doing, and tell this other girl it isn't nice to exclude people. Your daughter should also let her know that your daughter isn't interested in excluding people.

The girl may end up not liking your daughter but that doesn't seem like that bad an out come. It also appears that this girl might need some help, but that isnt your job.

I hear you. I tried having the kids over and showing them a great time. It made them jealous of my daughter for having two parents who spend time with her, for having lots of toys, and for getting to have friends over.
Also, they never improved really. It was like fighting fire with an eyedropper.

I also tried telling her to get away from girls like this. She can't do it. I would keep encouraging your child to do the right thing, to be herself, and to make friends.

Discreetly write a letter to the principal insisting this child not be in your child's class next year because of her bullying. Hopefully she will move on to another girl.

I had a friend like this when I was a youngster...she wanted everyone to be HER best friend but she didn't want US to be friends with each other!! It was as if she had to be the center of attention at all times.
I think your daughter is handling it very well...and I would just continue to encourage her to be the sweet, friendly little girl that it sounds like she is. I would not bother going to the parents of the other girl, there is no good way to tell parents that their child is so hard to get along with. Look at this as a learning situation for your daughter...she is going to be SO well prepared to deal with difficult co-workers, bosses, etc as she goes into her adult life!!!
I think you have done a great job with your daughter...congratulate yourself on the fact that she is well prepared to face challenges as she goes on through school.

Since this involves school, I'd ask the teacher for a little help... I'm sure she sees what goes on for the most part, but if you just send her a note or speak with her privately about how your daughter is feeling, she might incorporate some of this into her lesson plan.
As for speaking with the parents - it seems like they think their angel is perfect, so it just might make for hard feelings...
Keep supporting your daughter. Keep encouraging lots of friends.
Invite other children over after school or on the weekends and keep the other girl at arms length as much as possible. If your daughter sees her at school, that's plenty.
LBC

Clearly these parents are not going to respond well to you- their daughter "does no wrong" and they probably feed into that attitude with their daughter... it's all about her!

I would continue to speak with the scout leaders and the teacher. You can make a request that your daughter not be placed in the same class next year- put the request in writing to the principal in the next month or so and "copy" the teacher on it.

Your daughter sounds like she can handle herself pretty darn well (good for you and her!), so I wouldn't get too much into this one. Just make yourselves unavailable for play dates over spring break and summer- the whole thing will likely "fade" if your daughter continues to distance herself.

Wow...what a tough situation for your daughter. I'm with you, that child would be on my last nerve too. And frankly her remark about "chocolate girl" seems rather prejudice to me. We were raised to be color blind, we believe there is only one race, the human race. Of course people look different, how boring would life be if we were all the same. Kudos to you for raising your daughter to love and accept all people. I don't see the point in speaking with her parents about their child because it sounds like it would fall on deaf ears. I actually feel sorry for this little girl, her parents may think they are doing right by her in defending/ignoring her actions but what a horrible disservice they are doing to their child. How is she supposed to learn to be a good person if they are too lazy to teach her right from wrong. I have two daughters, 4 and 1/2 and 9 months. While I love my girls with all my heart I know they are not perfect, none of us are. (Well my 9 month old is pretty close to perfect..she hasn't been around long enough to mess up....lol.) I know my oldest will get snippy with playmates if something isn't going on her way, or if she's frustrated, especially if she is tired or hungry. But hubby and I are the 1st to intervene and say "Now is that how we speak to our friends? How would that make you feel if Judy said/did that to you? Each time my girl will say "I wouldn't like that or that would hurt my feelings". Then she will say how sorry she is and ask for a "do over" to make it right. That is how children learn what is acceptable and what is not. It sounds as if her parents never corrected her and simply ignored or defended her actions. The best thing your child can do is to continue to include everyone to play. If/when the other girl makes a snarky remark your daughter should handle it just as she did last night. Tell the girl she is being rude or unkind and then walk away and play with the other children. Eventually this girl will learn the lesson that no one wants to play with a "mean girl" :(

It would be easier to move a mountain one teaspoon at a time-than to get through to the parents. Naturally a child with parents like hers would want to gravitate to your daughter! I wouldn't be surprised if she stowed away in your car some time and came home with you. It wouldn't be a bad idea to have her over-you can change a child-a grown up-not so easy.

I'm with Robin, sounds like your girl is awesome and you're already doing everything right. Only thing else I can think of is to reach out. Bring the offensive child into YOUR life, and YOUR home, and more than likely, a little of you and your family will rub off.

Otherwise don't worry, in coming years they will be shuffled up.

:)

They say girls don't like to share friends, and in every group there is at least one little girl who really, really doesn't like to share friends, and is very vocal about it. At 7, it is usually pretty out in the open for most observing adults to notice, at 11-14, it's often under adult radar. Your daughter sounds like an awesome girl with a caring heart, and strong self esteem. I'm not sure you need to do anything at this point, but keep encouraging her to keep doing what she's doing, including everyone and keeping her circle of friends wide. I would also be encouraging of her seeking out other girls when it comes to playdates, activity sign-ups, outings, etc. Eventually, this controlling girl will learn she cannot control your daughter, and she will start to seek other friends as well. Also, a discreet email to her teacher asking for a little separation between them when possible and different class assignments for next year wouldn't be out of line if you think this girl is causing your daughter enough stress at school.

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This is less about the other girls behavior and more about how your daughter stands up for herself.
Why is she feeling bad or guilty when she's doing nothing wrong?
When this other girl tells your daughter something she disagrees with, your daughter should say "Sorry you feel that way, but that's not how I feel. I'm going to go make some new friends. Come along if you want to." and then your daughter walks away and doesn't stay around for the pity party performance. If the other girl has a hissy fit, who cares? It's not your daughters problem.
Your girl needs to learn how to not let others manipulate her and the sooner she learns this, the sooner she won't be 'made to feel bad' when she has nothing to feel bad about.

I think I'm going to take a different approach on my answer. I see the positive that your daughter is telling you whats going on. This is good. As someone else said when she hits 11 and older you want her to continue to do so. Does your daugther want you to get invovled? I think the next time she brings it up ask her "how do you think we can work this together". What would you like to see happen. That way she is working on the problem and you helping her, but not going too far, which can hurt your child in the school. Not sure what a teacher can do on this or a principle. Yes you can request a different class room next year ,but why bring your child under the radar of teachers and principles if your daughter is handling it. Reserve talking to them when serious issues pops up.

It seems that your daughter is handling this just fine. Listen to her, but I don't think you have to DO anything- she is handling common life situations very well at an early age. Just acknowledge her for job well done. Certainly in life you cannot require that everyone have manners, tho of course that would be nice.
best,k