Kegel Exercises

I agree, it is kind of unusual to have a 4 year old doing kegel exercises, and she probably won't be able to grasp the concept anyway, I wet the bed till I was 7 years old, but I finally did stop. It is something that is out of anybody's control, some children's muscles are just slower to develop in that area, she will eventually stop, don't worry, and be thankfull that they make Goodnights panties now! We didn't have those when I was a kid!

Good Luck!

Maybe her bladder is not big enough to go the whole night. That is a problem in my family. Not suffered by everyone but my sister and one of her boys had the problem and my oldest grandson was so bad he missed loads of sleepovers. He was scared he would go at a friends.
I have weak muscles and nothing much helps.
Good luck and speak with the ex. Tell him (even if it isn't) that it's a medical problem and for the new missus to butt out.

I'm not sure about the Kegel exercises, however, my 3 1/2 year old basically decided for herself. We started limiting drinks, nothing after 8 for certain, but limited after 6pm. She had about a month of 3 or 4 days dry in the morning, so I told her that the bag of pull ups that we had were it! She was actually very excited about being a 'big girl' and wearing 'big girl' panties to bed. For the first 2 weeks, I would get up around 2:30 in the morning and take her to the potty (my husband leaves around then for work, so that was actually easy), then before I would take them to the sitter in the morning (around 7), I would put her on the potty. They normally go back to sleep at the sitters, so having her go potty before we left was good. She has done pretty well in the past month with only 2 accidents. I do have a friend, however, that has a 6 year old boy who is still in a pull up at night because he just can't seem to get it down. I just think that everyone learns at their own pace.
Good Luck!

Personally I wouldn't worry about it. Shes 4. So she has accidents it happens. I agree with the not pushing it. My son who is 8 still wets the bed. My little brother wet the bed till he was 6 or 7. do not make your 4yr old do kegles shes waayyyyy to young for that. who in their right mind would suggest having a 4 year old do that?

I have 3 girls and the first one was about 5 when she could make it through the night without accidents. The middle one however, is 8 and still wears a pull up to bed. The doctor isn't concerned about it though. One thing the doctor did suggest to us at one of our visits was for my daughter to try something similar to Kegel. She said for my daughter to try and stop the flow of pee when she was going to the bathroom, hold it for a few seconds, continue, and repeat. This helps to build the muscles I would guess pretty close to a Kegel. She was 6 when the suggestion was made. Good Luck and don't worry, she will eventually grow out of it!

Have you asked YOUR pediatrician? I would also be concerned about her learning HOW to do Kegel exercises. Kids are smart, but explaining Kegals to a 4 year old seems a bit complicated to me. Pediatricians have all KINDS of resources for that. Ask him also about cutting drinks off at 6 pm. That seems a bit early to me, too, and I'd be concerned about that.

I just wanted to let you know that I have a daughter that just turned 6 this month and she still wets the bed at night. She gets nothing to drink after 8pm she goes potty right before she gets into her bed. And a few times I will take her to the potty when she is still sleeping in the middle of the night. We have bought mattress covers for her bed. We still put her in pull-ups. I have taken her to her doctor and he response was that her bladder just has not caught up to her body size. This is normal for children her age. The doctor told me she can do this up to the age of 9-11 and maybe longer, it all depends on her growth of her bladder.

I would tell the dad and stepmom to not yell or disipline her over this. This is something they can not control. I would tell the dad that the stepmom needs to be willing to want to work with your suggestions and stick with a set routine. That way the child does not get off track so easily.

My oldest daughter that is the age of 8 has never had this problem. I totally think and believe that it is the fact that a child at this age does not have full control over thier bladder and it has not caught up with the growth of the child.

I have been told it will get better. There are nights to where My daughter does not want to wear the pull-up and I say ok. I know more than likely I will have to wash her sheets in the morning but that is okay. That is part of being a parent.

Good luck.

Hi M.,
My son is 8 and still has problems with bed wetting. He doesn't do it often but we found we had to also cut his drink intake after a certain time. Six o'clock seems a little early but I guess it depends on what time she goes to bed. Also, I was at a new chiropractor this week and he said that the muscle down there is obviousy weak and the urge isn't strong enought to wake the child out of a deep sleep. One of the things he does with his clients is when your daughter has to use the restroom (if you're home or even out and about) try having her hold it for 5 min or so and then gradually go up to 7 min then 10 min. He said it's just like working out a muscle and eventually the muscle will strengthen and your child will begin to know what that feeling is of having to go to the bathroom really bad. It will begin to wake her up. I thought it sounded like a good idea so I am going to try it. Maybe it will work for you too.

L.

I'm sure you've heard this from your pediatrician, but sometimes their bladders just don't grow at the same rate as the rest of their body, and it takes some time to 'catch up.' 4 and 1/2 is still little, and it sounds like her stepmother needs to step back a little bit. I don't think there's anything wrong with putting pullups or the "goodnights" diapers on her at bedtime. (I noticed another mom recommending against this) It very well may not be her fault... I mean, who really WANTS to pee all over their bed and themself?

And as far as cutting drinks off, I can't imagine how horrible it would feel to be thirsty and not be able to have a drink and then try to sleep! Of course you would't want to let her guzzle big cups of chocolate milk before bed... but a little drink now and then when she's thirsty shouldn't be denied her.

And kegels with a 4 year old... just sounds wierd! I'd like to know how she explains to your daughter how to exercise her privates. I know my kids would have looked at me like "you've got to be kidding!" lol!

I'd go along with your pediatrician. Don't push the issue too hard... maybe let the father go to one of her appointments ~ if he hears it from the pediatrician himself, he might realize he could do her more harm than good by making a bid deal about it. Even after my kids were what I considered completely potty trained, there is still the 'once in a while accident' that happens at night. That's just part of growing up.

Good luck, mom! You sound like you're right on track... now if you can just get the stepmother to listen to reason! =)

M.,

I am not sure what exactly you are doing at night to prevent her from going to bathroom or to help? I need to know a little bit more about it before I can give you advise to see what you are doing or what your not? I have always cut off the drinks with my kids an hour before bed time and then once they did go to bed I would wait about an hour and a half after they went to bed to get them up to take them potty. This routine helps them at night. I would set my alarm clock for every two hours for the first two weeks and get them up to go potty but I used real underwear and panties at night also. Then gradually go longer over time and they get the hang of it in time. When they have to go they will go on there own during the night. Please let me know if this helps at all. Good Luck!

My son is 10 and up until the last few months when he got his new bed was having accidents at night. The problem with some of the kids is that their bladder does not keep up with their bodies growth. His doctor said that he would have a couple more years before they considered medicine. Some of the things we did to help was to cut back(not off) his drinking around 7-8 at night. We would get him up at 11 before we went to bed. Sometimes it worked sometimes it doesn't. It is more likely than not her bladder is not catching and growing with her body. It could happen for several more years before the doctor becomes concerned.

Hi M.!

I was quite curious about kegel exercises and children. So I did some research and found nothing! There have been numerous studies about kegel exercises and bladder training. However, all pertain to older women in their 40s and 50s. I did find that 20% of children over 4 wet the bed(www.seekwellness. com/incontinence/children_and_bladders.htm).

This website is maintained by a medical center who specializes in bladder function: http://www.chop.edu/ consumer/jsp/division/generic.jsp?id=84988. I think you will find it useful. They use kegel type exercises for treatment, but they use computers as well. However, they have several different types of treatment. They decide which would work best after a full evaluation.

In my opinion, stepmom needs to back off. We all know that babies and children respond best to consistency. If you can't do what your ex and his wife do because of schedules and such, then it should be scrapped. Why is she so gung-ho?

I'm not sure what your ex's wife does for a living, but I would STRONGLY refrain from having her and your ex teach your daughter kegels. When things aren't done or explained properly, it can have long term effects on a child. I've seen it at the psychology office I worked. If kegel exercises are something you would like to try, ask your pediatrician to explain it and show your daughter. Or have your pediatrcian tell you how to go about teaching your daughter.

Night-time training is even harder than day-time training. All children learn at different paces. You can't force the issue. It can damage your daughter's self image and self esteem. You have some great advice here. Maybe you and your ex can agree to something else here.

I took my son to the doctor this week for his five year old well check. My son stays dry for up to two weeks at a time and then has a wet nigh or two, I was asking the doctor about it and he told me that as long as he is staying dry sometime he didn't feel there was medically anything wrong. He told me that until a child is around six years old the medical community doesn't feel that anything needs to be done. He said when a child is around six is when they start caring that they're not staying dry and if they can't do it themselves that's when intervention is necessary.

As far as the keegal exersizes go, what is the point of doing them? If it is to hold the urine in, she's not going to do that at night when she's sleeping (she's not aware of what's she's doing when she sleeps). And if she starts holding it in at times you might be faced with bladder infections, which to me is far worse than being wet at night.

Good luck!

I have a 10 yr. old G-girl who has bladder spasms. I had to fight with her dad as he wanted to punish her for wetting the bed and having accidents. I finally got him to take her to a urologist. When the doc told him that the spasms were pushing the urine out before her bladder got full he became a lot better at understanding. She is still in pullups and the expense is worth her feeling good about herself. We high five when she is dry but nothing is said negatively when she isn't. As she stays dry more and more, we will do away with the pullups. But until then we have a child who doesn't get chilled from being wet at night, and if she does an overnight some where, she gets dressed in the bathroom and no one knows she wears them.

I do not think it is "unhealthy" to do the Kegel's but I do not believe a 4 1/2 year old would do them correctly. And how is this going to help her get pottytrained?

I have to do Kegel's for incontenience.....and there is a lot to it-if you do them like they instruct you to. There could be many reasons why she is not potty trained. One being one on one attention, or stress........or something else.

What have ya'll done to "train" her? My daughter was almost 4 when she finally "got it". I have learned it is something you have to be consistant about but with little pressure. Towards the end I let her wear big girl panties and if she wet them-then she had to change herself-she soon got tired of this.......and "got it". Sometimes it can be just stubborniss.....I still helped Emily to the bathroom-but at 4 1/2-I would let her change herself and WOULD NOT put pullups on her.

Usually night time wetting takes a lot longer than the other. Emily use to wet a lot at night...I agree cutting off her drinks at night. But this depends on when she goes to bed. If she goes to bed at 8 p.m. then 6 p.m. may not be a bad idea. If she goes to bed at 9 p.m. then maybe make it 7 p.m. If you get home at 6 p.m. let her had a 1/4-1/2 of a cup of water but not anymore-see if this works. We had to cut off Emily's intake and it worked! Make sure she goes potty before bed-I watched Emily go-because sometimes she would tell me she went and she didn't and then ended up wetting at night. Also, try taking her potty before you go to bed at night-say at 11 p.m. wake her up and have her go again-especially if she had something to drink before bedtime. This way she will more than likely not wet at night-stick with the big girl panties.....she needs to know what that feels like!

Hope this helps!
M.

Women can do kegel exercises and that is fine. For a 4 and a half year old it sounds a little crazy to me. For some children it takes them a little longer to stop wetting at night. I would suggest buying night time pull ups for her. If the step mom is that worried about it tell her that you and her can go halves and get the pull ups. Cutting off drinks at that time of night is crazy. Kids need the fluids they are still growing. Tell the step mom you do not like the idea of the kegel exercises and you will take no part with that idea. There is nothing unhealthy for a young child to do the kegel exercise but it is not something that I would have my daughter do at that age if I had a daughter. Stopping her drinks at 6 p.m. does not mean that she wont wet during the night. Kids sleep hard at night and they are still not fully aware of their bodys functions yet and sometimes they will wake and sometimes they don't. I would get the pull ups and tell the step mom to leave her alone.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

I do not have any info on Kegel's but I thought I'd let you know what did work for a friend. Their girl was around 9. Yes they did cut off drinks but it was not until 8. The main thing was they had her go to the bathroom before she got in bed and then they got her up 2 times during the night and made her go to the bathroom at set times. Yes it is work and the step mom may not like having to do it but maybe your little girls bladder may not be developed enough yet. IMO She should not be punished by the step mom for this. My little girl is the same age as yours B-Day is Oct 27, and she was around 4 before she was dry through the night.It was like one day she just got it lol. My 2 boys were a breeze when it came to potty training so they are all different. Hang in there and I wish the best for your little girl and you.

Hi M.!
I know how this goes..first off I want to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to push the issue and make your daughter feel insecure. The step mother needs to respect your wishes and your daughters.
Second..How does your daughters father feel about this issue?
Have you talked to him about it? Because if he too feels that she shouldn't be forced to do something that she don't want to do, than for sure the step mother has to respect that. And both you and the father need to push that issue to her. My 10 year old daughter had accidents due to the fact that everyone picked on her for having the accidents, and calling her a big baby because she had insecurity issues due to the fact that her father left us when she was in the process of potty training, and then I got into a real serious abusive relationship that ended us up on bouncing from place to place. Oh, man that was the hardest times. Now we are in a steady home and with a better man for all of us. But at times, when she senses that I'm upset or she had a really bad day is when she has accidents. We did the hour and 1/2 cut off from drinks and I do feel guilty for that, because I know especially if your not feeling well (the child) you want something to drink to soothe you. And I don't like the idea of her having a dry throat. But it has to be done. Just offer more drinks when she wakes up. I wouldn't force your daughter into the kegels either, how would you explain to excercise the muscle in your crotch to a 4 1/2 year old?! Sounds to me, someones wanting your child to grow up faster than she's suppose to. Make them both understand how you feel about this issue. Your the mother. My girls' dads girlfriend used to be really forceful with my girls, she even thought that she had a right to make my girls at the time ages: 2 and 4 to watch her baby while she slept! Than a few other times when they got older, they were forced to take him outside and play in a pool by themselves with no adult supervision. I talked to their dad and he said, there was nothing he could do. I told him than if he wants to see his girls anymore to take me to court! Because I'm not gonna have my kids abused any longer. Sorry...It just upsets me when someone thinks their doing good for someone when at times alls it does is makes it worse. Especially when it comes to children and step children. Kids have accidents all the time. It doesn't matter if its wetting to bed or if its wetting their pants or spilling things. It happens. If you don't want it to happen (or she don't want it to happen) to step off. That's all I got to say. Good luck!

Well my doctor says that when you lie down your kidneys work better, and a child is not aware of their body fuctions some times because they sleep very hard, especially if they have been very active. Tell step mom you will buy the night time pull ups for them and to leave her alone until she is ready. Also grand-daughter was lacking a hormone that made the kidneys work infrequently and she wet the bed until she was 10 years old, so take her to the doctor if it continues past the age of 6., other wise leave the child alone.,and put night time pull ups on her.

Ummmmm, yah, that's weird. Kegel exercises for a 4-yr-old? For what? It's not as if she's had a bladder suspension. She hasn't had any kids (God forgive me for even going there). And I'm to assume she knows how to go to the bathroom, right? Kegels are used for those things, to help strengthen the pelvic floor NOT to help you hold in urine long enough. Well, apparently your ex just proved to me he makes stupid moves, leaving you and then choosing some idiot who's friends make decisions for her(step-mom). All I have to say is you are THE mom. What missy-thing wants for YOUR child so she doesn't have to DEAL with it isn't a concern. The health of your child is. One of the reasons she's not potty trained at night is due to the fact that her little bladder is developing slower than other children's-hence your brother and heredity. Pushing the issue is going to wreak havoc on her self-esteem and her health, she's just not ready. Tell step-mommy dearest to deal with it, she's not ready. -H.- P.S. I'm a medical transcriptionist.

Let me start by saying I am no expert and know nothing about doing the exercises to help your daughter. However, at her age it is still normal for night time wetting. She will eventually grow out of it on her own (theoretically) but until then just keep a set of clean sheets by her bed. It is hereditary for bed wetting to last for a while. I went through this with both of my sons. Unfortunately one of them had a hormone inbalance that caused him to not go during the day and had to take meds. The biggest thing is to NOT make a big deal of this. I know the frustration you are going through, but the best thing is to listen to your Pediatrician. The "stepmom" needs to leave the issue alone as long as you are seeing the Pediatrician on a regular basis.