Keeping the Peace at My Home Daycare

have you kept the parents fully informed as to the extent of their child's behavior? If not, this will not go well. I have found that it is better to meet with the parents & devise a system of behavior modification....& trying that for some time....before letting a family go. :)

Before you break your contract with this family, please ask yourself if you have done everything in your power to prevent these issues, address these issues, & have provided the family with adequate communication to understand the situation.

I, too, have a terror in my daycare. After years & years of working with kids, I fully understand & embrace .....the fact that there is 1 in each group. It is up to me to teach that child how to behave better, to teach the other children how to deal with each situation, & how to better expand my own ability to adapt with each child in my care.

With my terror, I make sure that he is fully-engaged before I transition to another duty (another diaper change, etc). I never leave him in the middle of the group....unless they're fully-focused on an activity. When I see his temper escalating....or his interest focus on another's activity, I stand "at the ready" to make sure he doesn't lose control of his own actions. He escalates quickly, so quite frequently, I am in "damage control" mode more often than not. But!....I use each & every event as a learning opportunity for all in the room.

The reason I am bringing all of this up....is because it is easy to feel defeat. Please be absolutely positive that you are truly not able to teach this child a better way to live. Please be absolutely positive that you are truly unable to continue with this child in your life.

As for approaching the parents, all I can say is that it needs to be a meeting just between you. Don't do it in front of the kids, nor any of the other parents. & pretty much, whatever you do, it will not go easy. Honesty is always best....& that goes back to whether or not they're fully aware of the extent of their child's behavior. Good Luck!

EDIT: Thanks for updating. I'm glad the mom is informed.

I would say 11 years of experience is enough to tell you that this child is not meshing. I hope that you have been working with the parents already on improving the situation. Being a home daycare provider is really tough. A lot of times the daycare has more rule and expectations for the child than the working (exhausted) parents do. Maybe if they realize that you're at your wits end the parents will step up?? If not, I think it's fair to give them a two week notice. Don't tell them you've never done that before to another family, it'll just hurt even more. Tell them you've been working really hard at making it work but her behavior is not improving. Keep it pretty short and sweet. Good luck! It sounds like you didn't come to this decision lightly.

I'm sorry you aren't able to help this mom with this child. But it's your decision if you don't want to keep her in your home, and it's understandable.

I guess you need to tell her that you will give her two weeks notice. Say that the dynamics with her daughter are causing so many problems in the group that you can't continue to watch her.

I'm sorry about this,
Dawn

I had to do the exact same thing when I was doing day care. This child was only in my home a few hours a day and was pushing, hitting, and downright mean. I had talked to both parents about his behavior on several ocassions. I had a decent relationship with them...open communication. When I finally called to talk to them about needing to find different day care (I did it over the phone so as not to do it in front of any of the kids), I honestly did not think they would be surprised, but they did not handle it very well. The mom would not come to the phone to talk to me at all and the dad said I was going to cause the mom to have an emotional breakdown because she could not handle him being kicked out of another day care (his third). I was very surprised and hurt at them blaming me. I guess my point in telling you this is, expect the worst reaction from them. They will be embarrassed and take it personally that their child is being asked not to come back. Just know that you are doing the right thing for you and your day care. Years later, I can now see them and chat with them and it's not uncomfortable...and of course the boy turned out to be a decent kid. Good luck! You'll feel better once the conversation is over.

Have you talked to her mom about her behavior before this point??? If not, you might want to otherwise it will be a total shock and wouldn't look good for your daycare to just drop a kid like that without parent involvement first. I know if it were me, I'd be pretty pissed if you just out of the blue said you weren't going to watch my child because she was having problems and I was never made aware of it to begin with. If you have talked with the mom about this several times, then I'd let her know with a 2-4 week window that you will no longer be able to watch her child and why.

Good luck
S.

Assuming you have a contract that spells out that she has to give you two weeks notice or pay you for two weeks anyway, (unless the girl is a danger to herself or others) I think you should be willing to give her parents two weeks notice as well. Tell her mom when she picks up on Friday that you know she's aware of the situation and although you and she have both addressed the issue, it isn't getting better and you have come to the difficult decision to discontinue services. Let her know that while you would like to make it affective immediately, you are willing to work with her and still watch her daughter for up to two weeks while she seeks a new provider. In those two weeks, only charge her for the days she utilizes...that way if she has a day or two covered elsewhere but not yet full time she doesn't have to pay both of you.