Let me clarify that my child has had sleep issues since Day 1. Yes, I've read all the books; yes, we have seen success with determination & consistency with sleep training in the past. My question is more of a "is this a toddler thing" or are we back to having to undergo additional sleep training with him.
My son has only ever consistently slept through the night (usually about 10 hrs) from about 15 mths to 18 mths. At 18 mths he got his first & only severe cold, which lasted a good week, & that pretty much "ruined" whatever sleep habits he had developed that enabled him to sleep through the night.
He naps for an hour or less every afternoon. He's in bed by 7:30, usually asleep by 8:00. He's up between 5:30 & 6AM every morning. (And yes, we've tried putting him to bed earlier in the past, he is simply a kid that only needs 10-11 hrs of a sleep a night). I'm fine with all of that except for the fact the he is up anywhere from 1 to 4 times a night. He simply walks out of his room & comes into our room. (He's in a twin bed, no bedrail - even with the bedrail, he was able to get out & come in our room). We put him back in his bed, rub his back a bit, & walk out. There usually isn't a lot of words spoken or time spent in his room. But an hour or so later, he's back. The "best" nights are when he's up once & sleeps until 6AM. On occasion he will sleep the solid 10 hrs, but it's very hit or miss.
His room is blacked out, he sleeps with a noise machine on (light rain sound). I know for a fact he has all of his teeth at this point. I occasionally ask him if his tummy hurts or if he had a bad dream, to which he usually doesn't reply.
Does anyone have any insight into this? A few mom friends have mentioned that their toddlers, between ages 2 & 3, were up more frequently & they think it's just a "toddler thing". We have a new baby coming in May & I'd love to start working on this now rather than having to deal with it once the baby is here, but I have no idea "what" to do in terms of the training. Do I put a digital clock in there, & begin explaining the time concept - can't get out of your room until it say "6" kind of thing; do we put a gate at his door; ack!!
Any suggestions would be appreciated, just please don't tell me that ALL kids his age should be getting 12 hours of sleep a night, that ALL kids his age CAN stay in their beds, etc. I get it, my child has different sleep challenges than others. Like I said, I've read the books, we've done the work in the past & I know what the "norm" is for toddlers his age. I'd just like to know what other parents have done when they or someone they know has been in a similar situation, just so I can glean some additional ideas or tactics I haven't heard or read about yet. Thanks!!
My daughter was the same way. she was not a great sleeper ever! She went to a toddler bed when we moved (she was 18 months). She was up 1-2 times a night. At first she would tell us she was "fraid" and we would let her in our bed and all was well. Around 2 1/2 we got to the point of wanting our bed back. We did a gate in her door, until she learned how to climb over it and eventually open it (a couple weeks). She finally out-grew it around 3, so my guess is that it is just a stage.
just and FYI, my daughter was the same way, she only needed 9-10 hours of sleep a night. She is now 6 and still the same way, and I was the same way as a child.
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K.G.
answers from
San Francisco
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I'm not sure how this will sit with everyone, but we took the door knob off on the inside of my 2 1/2 year old twins door. They too would not stay in their beds/room. We were concered about their safety in roaming the house in the dark at night while we were sleeping. It's worked out just fine. We are awake before them in the mornings and they knock on the door when they wake up. We made sure their room was "safe" so if they do get up to play they won't get hurt.
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A.H.
answers from
San Francisco
on
My son is a terrible sleeper too. A couple nights a week he gets up for about an hour in the middle of the night. We gate the hallway outside his room (this way the door can still close and he seems to feel less trapped) and leave him a somewhat boring toy or two. Also, his room is childproofed to the hilt and the other doors in the hallway that he has access to are locked during the night. I find that if I go to his room he will wind up staying up longer. I think it's because he wants company. When I hear him I listen in over the monitor for a bit to make sure things are ok and mostly I do not go to his room. The more boring it is for him to be awake the better!
I wince to even say this, but.. have you tried seeing if he can go without the nap? Four times every night seems excessive. Maybe he is not tired enough.
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J.P.
answers from
San Francisco
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I know I know!! I read all the books too. My daughter will be 4 next month and she's up several times a night too. I pray each night that it will be different. I've tried everything. Last night we tried the ignoring again. The difference is that my daughter will not get out of her bed to come to us she will just call and call till we come to her. She needs water, another kiss, to go pee pee (after she just went), a tissue, she's hungry ..... So when we ignored her after the 4th call (told her we would), she screamed her head off for 2 hours!! She does still nap during the day b/c she is so tired she'll literally fall asleep. I'd take the nap out except I need extra rest too. So - now for some "advice" - we just started a chart where she can put a sticker on each day in the morning if she stays asleep on her own. After 7 stickers (you can do less of course) she gets to go to a place of her choosing - Chuck e Cheese, a movie, etc. We've even done just buying her a toy. She is motivated to comply w/ our rules this way. Good Luck and a good night sleep!
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C.C.
answers from
Fresno
on
Something you mentioned kind of struck me - that he usually doesn't respond if you ask him something. A lot of kids this age actually sleep walk. He may not know or remember that he is waking up at night and walking around. My daughter did this for a while and it freaked me out because she would come in and tell me things like "There's a grasshopper in my bed!" - so I'd run and check, and there was nothing there, but she'd keep pointing at it like she actually saw it there. I'd have to "kill" the grasshopper and then she'd get back in and fall right back asleep. My grandmother said that my uncle would do the same thing when he was 2 (only he thought a man with a baseball bat was under his bed - go figure).
Anyhow, the only way we solved it was by childproofing the door handle on the inside of her room. Since she wasn't actually awake, I figured it was safer that way anyhow. I didn't want her to one day walk outside while asleep. It solved our issue. Eventually she grew out of it, and is now a sound sleeper and does not leave her room at night (she's 3.5 now).
Good luck, this is a tough one...
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T.B.
answers from
Sacramento
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We are going through the same thing with my daughter right now. She was sleeping through the night until September when we had an accident on our bikes. Ever since then she wakes up several times a night. We get an occasional night where she sleeps all the way through (yay) but it never happens several days in a row. I know I made problems worse a few months ago when my husband was out of town and when she would awake during the night it was easier to let her crawl in bed with me. Now she would like to sleep with us anytime she wakes up at night. After about 3 weeks of walking her back to her own bed each time we started fastening the gate on her door (we installed this when she was a newborn so that my son would stay out of her room when she was sleeping and so I didn't have to worry about him touching her while I showered. It has stopped her coming into our room at night, but hasn't stopped the night wakings. Some nights she still wakes up 3-4 times, thankfully lastnight it was just once. Most of the time now she stays in her bed but she has a multitude of reasons of what she needs when she wakes up. Usually she will ask for a tissue or to be covered back up. Sometimes she isn't actually awake but is having night terrors. It is really frustrating and I too have read a million books on the subject. We have tried putting her to bed super early (around 6pm) but those nights she just wakes even more times. Right now she generally goes to bed at 7ish and is up at 7ish, but rarely naps. I put her down every day for quiet time, but if she hasn't slept after 2 hours, I let her up. She sleeps maybe once every 3 weeks if I'm lucky, and then I can guarantee bedtime is going to be a little later on those nights. If you find a solution that works for you, please let this tired mama know. We have tried everything, letting her cry, responding but not speaking to her, gate on her door, extra early bedtime, with a nightlight, room completely pitch black, white noise machine, no white noise machine, humidifier, I think we have tried almost everything. Nothing has worked for us consistently. My husband and I just alternate who gets up with her each time and it is getting old. She did used to be a pretty good sleeper. My 5 yr old son is a great sleeper now, but wasn't at 2.5 either so hoping it is something that she will soon outgrow.
