Keeping 5 Year Old in Bed

My 6 year old daughter gets ready for bed and then must stay quietly in her room, but not in bed, until she is ready to fall asleep. She is not one to go right to sleep, so this is what works for us...

She is allowed to look at books, do puzzles, color with crayons(nothing messy) or play her leapster. It works well. She knows she needs to stay in her room. Then when she is ready to be tucked in she lets us know and then goes right to sleep. You can't really force someone to go to sleep. This takes away the battle and stress and you can go about your night. Should she not stay quietly in her room, we threaten to take something away. Like a treat for the next day.

Five year olds are great! you can reason with them!
This is what I do with my kids on problems I am not sure how so solve, but that need their cooperation.
Sit her down have a pen and paper. Tell her you have a very important thing to talk to her about and you need her help. Explain that not staying in bed and not getting any sleep is not healthy for her, you need her help to figure out how she can feel comfortable stay in bed and fall asleep. Write at the top of the paper, the problem. Divide it into two columns. On one side put her name, on the other, yours. (make sure she can see what you are writing and tell her what it says) Then ask her for some ideas, these you write on her side and then tell your your ideas and write them on your side. After you have your two lists you go over them and pick one together that you both agree on. If there is one that you don't like, tell her why you don't think it will work. And if there is one she doesn't like ask her why. (sometimes you might have to pick one of yours and one of hers) Pick a first, a second and a third choice. Tell her you are going to try each one until one works.
You will be surprised at what this does to help. It give her the power and she really will come up with great ideas too.
Also discuss some consequences of getting out of bed. She will come up with some good ones for herself that you might not have thought of and probably will "speak" more to her then yours might.
Some things off the top of my head that I think would help.
Start her with five books cause she is five and if she stays in bed that night then she can earn five books again, if she does not then she looses one each time she gets out.
Try letting her listen to some princess, classical or lullaby music. the rule I use is she has to stay in the bed and hold still while listening. if she gets out after three times, she looses the music.
Have a night light or a lamp in her room and you read her one book and she can look at three more and then turn the lamp off and go to sleep. If she can stay in bed then the next night she can do this again.
with one of my children I did just have to sit outside her room and read a book until she fell asleep, and just keep putting her back in bed every time she came out. I would not talk to her, just take her shoulders and steer her back to bed, and go back to reading.
And last but not least, figure out her love language. Usually how she shows you she loves you. By making sure she is filled with love that she recognizes, she might not feel the need to get your attention at night.
I am sure that you and she will be able to come up with some good ideas together.
Good luck

Five years old is definetly too old for this behavior. Unscrew her lightbulb so she cannot turn on her light. Put up a "baby" gate and let her know that it's called a baby gate, but she is forcing you to use it for her because she is not choosing to act like a big girl. Maybe you did not take away the right things? Does she have a favorite stuffed animal or doll? Every kid has their leverage item. No more sharing rooms. If she gets something "special" from this behavior, it will continue. Set your routine(brush teeth, book, tuck-in) and THAT'S IT!!!! Everytime she gets up, punish her. Personally, I would give her a spanking, but if you don't do that take whatever is most valueable to her and keep taking things each time she gets up. If you use timeouts, you could have them carry over to the next day. Does she watch cartoons in the morning? For every time that she gets up, take away 5 min of cartoons and have her stand in timeout with her nose to the wall instead. Keep track of it on a chart in her room - do check marks when she gets up and every check equals 5 min timeout. She is walking all over you for the past 2yrs!!!

i wrote this before to another mother-we put a latch doorknob on my sons door with the lock on the outside in the hallway--after our bedtime routine i close the door and lock him in his bedroom for the evening. it has worked really well for us but he is also 2.5 and still in diapers!so he doesnt need to use the restroom at night!

We put a lock on the door so my sons can't get out of the room. We do the bedtime routine, and turn off the light. They have a nightlight, some books to read and a few toys and if they get out of bed, they may play a bit, but now they will usually go and tuck themselves in again.

Some people may say locking them in their room as cruel, but my mischievous boys would likely climb out a window, start a fire while playing with the stove (they are major climbers), dump out all the food in the kitchen... who knows, so putting a lock on the door is the safest for them at their ages.

Of course, I usually go and check on them before I go to bed and one is usually sleeping next to the door, so I just pick him up and put him in bed, still asleep.

Catering to her every night and giving in will is only allowing the behavior. I know it's hard, but once she figures out her little tricks don't work, she will go to sleep.