So this is not a question that i am searching for an answer for just a poll or venting or whatever other category it may be (you choose) - so does anyone else's 3 y/o seem to be in the "no i dont want to do it "stage ? it seems like i ask her to pick up toys (she used to think it was a game for a long time), get her pj's or practically anything she says no and starts her fit. it seems to me like this stage she is going thru that she is testing her boundaries and what she can try and get away with. any other momma's going thru this or been thru this ? its driving me insane (not in a bad way - just a crazy what am i doing way) how she can be sweet and listening one minute and then i ask her do to something and its complete opposite. just wondering if any other momma's out there have advice or what they did if anything different.
Yes! My three year old (almost 4) is going through the same thing! It's awful, but I try to really enjoy her sweet moments and just grit my teeth and be consistent through her challenging ones. This too shall pass, right? I'm right there with you, Mama!
Yup, my kids never had the terrible twos but boy were they awful at 3. You will have to judge if you need to be loving or stern. Some days just being sweet to her and telling her I needed help while I started tidying she would help, other times she was so adamant that I had to force her and even grab her hand to show her this is how you do what I ask "put the blocks in the bin". But they are very changeable. Wait until she is 14 and one day you are talking to the child and the next minute to the budding adult, hard to figure.
Ha! My son does the same thing, but here is the thing, you do not ask them to do a single thing, you tell them to do it. You say "Sally, it is time to clean your room, you have toys and books on the floor they need to be picked up." If you like her having a choice then say "Sally books or toys first?" That should be as far as it goes, if they say no, or they refuse to do it then time out or whatever other tool you use. If it continues then everything on the floor goes into my closet and put up for a week. If my son does not want to get dressed then I choose his clothes, and dress him myself (not gently either) for a week, no options. This typically works - initially my son had no toys, video games or other choices for a week, it was rough but he understood the point when all he could do was sit in his room and play with nothing.
Do you want, Will you and Can you will always elicit a negative response. They are testing the no. It does get old
So I didn't make it an option. They had choices, pick up the clothes or stuffies, Dry the dishes or clear the table. Brush first or take bath.
Eventually they will be more helpful and want to do everything you do. THat comes at 4ish.
Its a phase. They do it then don't do it.
Then do it then don't do it.
Then do it then don't do it.
Then before you know it, they are Teenagers, and they are doing it, then too.
So whatever method works for you, to "stop" it... or curb it, then try it.
It usually takes a variety of approaches.
But the person needs to know, that you mean "no" when you say it. Too. And that there are, consequences.
Some adults/Husbands/Spouses routinely do this too.
Sorry, I am not being sarcastic.
I am just observing what I see and having a rumpled day.
I have 2 kids who are 5 & 9.
Yup, that's what three year olds do. My 5 and 4 year old went through it and so will my 2 1/2 year old. If you want to improve things rather than wait it out, Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson is a sanity saver. None of the bad behavior (especially fits) lasted long because we didn't allow it.
Definitely! It'll probably last until teenage years I guess. Sometimes, when I just let her be and told my 3 becoming 4 year old daughter of the consequence to HER OWNSELF. For example, if she didn't put her favourite pajama in the laundry basket, I told her I'm going to have great difficulty to find it, won't be able to wash it, she won't be able to wear it the next day. If she didn't put her toys away esp the small ones, I'm going to sweep them off the floor and throw it away because she doesn't thinks it is important. If she didn't keep her pencils back, we won't be able to draw together.
Then...if she still says no...I left it be. The next time she wants to wear her favourite pajama, find her toys, or her pencils, I just brought up what I said before in a matter-of-fact way, rather then see-I-told-u-so way.
There are times when she saw me cleaning up the house, she'll start 'helping' me too, and loudly says, "so that Mama can wash my pajama" or "have to keep the my toys so that it is not wasted...and God doesn't like waste bla bla bla...nagging like an old housewife hahaha. It's cute.
Off course this doesn't always happen. But it's a process.
I never asked my children to do anything. They are too young to make those kind of decisions on their own. I always told my kidz for example, Its almost time for lunch so were going to pick up the toys, it is time to get on our pj's. If you do not do what I decide we are going to do then you will be in time out and I will not allow you to play with your toys tomorrow you will sit on the couch all day. It worked for me:)
