My daughter is 18 months old. She has been potty training for past month actively, and passively for a few months before that. She was doing incredibly well, peeing all day in the potty and not wetting herself, she even pooped a few times. And she started running to the bathroom saying "tinkle tinkle" when she had to pee. She does very well when she is a the sitter's as well. She is with her baby sitter, at the sitter's house, 5 days a week all day long. She is so comfortable on the potty there, she even fell asleep on it before nap time once. The problem is, about two weeks ago, she started throwing a fit whenever I put her on the potty at home. It started with her standing up as soon as I put her on the potty. Then when I tell her to sit back down, she tries to run away, so I put her back on the potty and she throws her head down and screams. It is not because she simply does not have to go, because I will wait until there is a break in her crying, and she gets happy for a moment to let her off the potty, and she will pee in her panties less than five minutes later. So I know she has to go, but it is getting worse and worse. She went from barely wetting herself all day long, and even sleeping through nap time dry, to peeing in the potty once maybe twice a day. This is just for me though. She still goes all day in the potty at the sitter's. I don't know if I should back off for a little bit, and just sit her on the potty, and let her get up when she wants to(about 2 second after her butt hits the seat). I feel like if I continue the way we are now, I will never get her to use the potty for me because she is throwing worse and worse tantrums. I know she knows what to do, and I know she can do it. We sing songs about tinkling and other learning songs when she is on the potty and that distracts her for about 10 minutes, but only if I find the 'right' song to sing, She is a very 'easy' child in every other way. Intrepid, adventurous and independent, but she listens well and comprehends well. I don't' know what sparked her to not want to use the potty at home.
I actually backed off a little bit the past few days. I let her get up as soon as she is ready, even if it is after 3 seconds. And I have not put her on the potty first thing in the morning, or more than twice after we get home for the day. Last night she sat down on her potty while I was on the big potty and she was done tinkling before I was. I wa so excited!! She got tons of praise, although she acted like she didn't notice or care. I talk multiple times a day to her sitter and I know that we are not doing things differently, it's just a different environment and a different person. I think it is a misconception that kids 'aren't ready' to potty train until they are older. Some kids, yes, but my daughter began peeing on the potty on her own. She holds her urine through the night most nights, and can go all day without an 'accident' becasue she can hold her bladder until she goes in the potty. And she knows the words for tinkle and poop and will run to the bathroom and say "eh, eh, eh tinkle" when she has to go sometimes. She just started giving me trouble for one reason or another. But backing off a little seems to have helped. I will continue with not putting her on the potty as often for another week and then start increasing the frequency on the weekends again gradually so that she can go back to wearing panties for me. She is still doing fine for the sitter, so I know that she knows what to do.
I am not big on pushing kids to potty traing. I think when you push you have problems. I let my 3 kids learn as they was ready. I say relax and let her go her own pace at home. She goes for the sitter what is the big push for? Not being rude I am so against pushing kids to potty train.
I honestly would put her in pull-ups or back in a diaper. She is on the young side to be potty trained and you don't want to make a big deal out of this. If she has a problem wearing pull-ups/ diapers, explain to her why and when she is ready not to wear them and use the potty she doesn't have to.
Good luck!
First off I gotta say, good for you for actively potty training her at an early age!!! So many moms wait till their kids are 3-4 yrs old to potty train, for whatever reason, and that's their choice. But I found that potty training at an earlier age, with a willing and capable child of course, saved so much money from having to buy diapers.
I started potty training my daughter, passively, when she was 1, a little more aggressively when she was 18 mths. She was fully potty trained, both day and night by 21 mths. I had worked full time and she was in daycare all day.
For your situation, is the sitter maybe doing something different with her during the day? I agree there has got to be a reason she started refusing for you all of a sudden. It could be that maybe the sitter is doing something different with her, either giving her some reward you don't, or on the extreme side of things, maybe forcing her to sit for hours on the potty or reprimanding her for not going when she's on it. Not trying to say anything bad about the sitter or worry you, it's just difficult when your child is with someone else all day and too young to explain to you why she doesn't want to go. It could be something as simple as just giving mommy a hard time or not wanting to stop playing to go. It's hard to say. I would maybe back off just a little bit, like not putting her on the potty as many times as you normally would, but I wouldn't give up on it completely. A couple of minutes here and there is better than nothing at all. It may just be a phase which I think can be common when potty training at any age. Sometimes they want to go, sometimes they don't.
My daughter was very big on praise. Everytime she went I made such a big deal out of it, clapping, hugs and kisses, and tellng her I was so proud of her. She loved the attention.
Good Luck!!!
I agree with Joanna. What is the big push for potty training early? The only benefit is no more diapers. There is no other downside to waiting. You NEVER want to expect something of your child that they are not developmentally capable of doing, you'll only frustrate yourself, frustrate your daughter, and make her feel like she is failing. I have to respond to another poster who asks why people wait to train their children. The answer is simple...because the "experts" who have done research recommend waiting until the child is ready. A friend of mine who is a pediatrician and another friend who is a child psychologist have both told me that if it takes you longer than two weeks to TOTALLY potty train your kid then they are actually not ready. Children need to be potty trained when THEY are ready, not when we say they are ready. Readiness has to be both physiological AND psychological (or developmental).
I'm not saying that you are damaging your daughter by training her early, but you are clearly getting frustrated and she is getting frustrated and that is what is not healthy for either one of you. I would back off and revisit the whole thing later.
My sons both trained at age three within 10 days of beginning the training process. Once I committed to the whole training thing, I didn't use pull-ups...only undies and they were mature enough to be able to hold the urine in their tiny bladders for extended periods of time.
Good Luck!
I think it is just a phase. My 2 year old has decided that she will not wear any other shoes than her pink tennis shoes that are getting too small. I have even tried buying her Dora tennis shoes because she loves her so much but she even refuses them. Just give her time and I am sure she will go back to using the potty.
Just try to keep reinforcing the potty thing with your daughter. She is only 18 months old and the best advice I ever received was to let the child decided themselves when it was best for them to go. Forcing the issue to much can have the opposite affect on the child. I would try taking her a few times a day yourself when you are with her and go from there. Hope it all works out.
I am thinking that although your daughter seemed to catch on to potty training that she may have simply been excited by the novelty of it rather than truly being developed enough to be trained. However, since she is using the potty for the sitter, maybe she is just testing the waters with you. Either way, you may want to consider holding off a little bit. The more frustrated you get the harder it is going to be to move forward, for you and your daughter. She may not be trained as early as you like, but she will get there.
