I'm not even sure if this is the right type of forum to be asking this kind of question in... But here it goes...
I am a single mom of a 2 year old son. I work full time and he is in daycare during the day. Our day goes basically like this: We get up around 7 in the morning and we are out the house by about 7:30 or 7:45. Usually we reconnect around 6 in the evening and I try to get him in bed between 8 and 10. Lately he's been woke til 11-ish and it's really presenting a problem with waking him up in the morning. Besides, he's got asthma and prone to getting colds and I just think that the more rest he gets the better he'll feel on most days. Now the thing is that he refuses to go to sleep unless I'm in the room or the bed with him. And it is really hard especially when I need to clean, cook for the next day, do homework (I'm in school full time doing online classes), or just need some time to myself. Any suggestions on how to get him to sleep on his own without me having to "rock" him to sleep every night? Please help!!! Thanks... By the way, in case you're wondering, his father lives in Brooklyn, NY still.
I have this problem too so any help will be appreciated. My little guy will stay up, get out of bed, basically tear the room apart if I am not there to sit by his bed or lie by his toddler bed.
C.~it sounds as though your son is 'acting out". Because he doesn't get to see you much of they day, by not going to bed when he should is his way of saying that he wants more time with you. I work in a day care and I see this a lot there and at home. My husband is a tow truck driver but his hours are not consistant. One week its 40 hrs the next it could be 70 hrs. The weeks that he is gone a lot of time my kids won't go to bed like they should or do as I tell them. They will just start crying for daddy. All I can suggest is that from the time you get home till bed time spend as much one on one time with him. I know there is a lot of other stuff for you to do when you get home but maybe this is his way of saying that he wants more time or he could be going through a phase. I hope this helps! Just keep your head high because you are being a great mom!
It sounds to me that your son just misses you and is looking for ways to be near you. My son stalls and whines when it is time to go to bed. And the later I let him stay up the worst he get and it is hard to wake him up in the morning. An idea is to wake him up around 6 and have that hour alone with him. For one hour you can hold, rock or read to him without having to rush and get ready. Or even reverse the time an from 9 - 10 you sit an hold him with the understanding he has to go to bed when you tell him. The key is to give you undivied attention for one hour. I understand the dilemma of having to work and care for your child, and the guilt associated with not having enough time. The best advise anyone EVER gave me is that is it a stage and will pass. I TRY to apply this to every situation I have with my kids. It helps to know that eventually this to shall pass.
First of all you are amazing!!!! I remember those days when I was single and taking care of my son. To be honest with you I would lay in my son's bed with him until he would fall asleep. Most nights I would fall asleep with him and take about a 2 hour nap than get up clean the house and do all the things I needed to get done for the morning. This meant I might be cooking for the next day a 2am but after my late evening nap I had a lot more energy to get things done.
Take care....
I agree that your son jsut wants your attention. He now only has one parent and is in a daycare all day. My daughter was having trouble going to sleep at night and for her naps. Everyone said she doesn't need a nap, that was a hellish month of not giving her a nap. I now give her a nap and stay and cuddle her to sleep. She falls asleep in 20 minutes, I usually sleep 10 min with her. We are more connected, i am not frustrated with her for hours on end, and she is getting the mommy time that she was missing out on since my son was born. I don't know how long you have been away from his father, but this is a huge life change for him and he is only 2. Give him some time, spend time with him, he should be your priority not school, maybe you need to cut back on your work load or hire a housekeeper. He will only be 2 once, and these are the most formative years of his life! Don't work through it!
Oh goodness C...This is my first day to this sight and I have to admit seeing this blog on here made me feel better...because I am not alone! My son is also 2 and started to stay up until I go to bed and turn out all the lights. It is almost a fight with him. Sometimes I have to get firm and he throws a fit...blah blah...And I do spend alot of time with him. He goes to daycare for only 21 hours a week...every other day thru the week. So I am leaning towards a phase...we can pray! I am a Pre-nursing student so I understand the importance of alone time, studying time and I want a second to myself! So basically if you find something that works let me know and I will do the same for you! Have a great day!
Get a firm bedtime routine going. Maybe read him a story before he's expected to fall asleep. A little bit of soft music or a soothing sounds machine might help, too. I have a sound machine that has repetetive sounds, ie: ocean waves, a heartbeat, a babbling brook, etc. that my 6 year old has been using for years now. He can't fall asleep without it. It sounds like your son may be craving your attention, too. A soothing bath or some quiet play time one on one may be in order to give him reassurance you're there for him. All three of my boys have been without their father for almost 7 years now. I remember how hard it was when he first left. It seemed like I couldn't give them enough attention but we've managed to create a schedule that works for us all.
Good luck -
C. - My son is a little younger, so I haven't experience this yet. But I watch the Supernanny and this seems to be a common problem among little ones. She has a great website with tips on how to get your child to go sleep through a series of steps. Most of the kids on the show are going to sleep without Mom in less than a week. I beleive the address is Supernanny.com.
Your son gets to "see" you maybe 4.5 hours per day and you want to know how to get him to go to bed without you? Most kids want to spend time with their parents. With your working full time, taking care of the house and taking 3 classes, I'm guessing he's getting maybe .5 hour per day of undivided attention from you. Him wanting you to rock him to sleep is his way of telling you he NEEDS more of your time. He just wants his mommy...
