Just Found Out Little Sis Paid Big Sis to Have a Sleepover with Her. 🙁

I'm sorry, but this one made me laugh.
I'd tell big sis to give the $ back, it wasn't nice to take it.
And I'd tell the 6 year old that a person shouldn't pay others to be her friend. Real friends like you for who you are, not because you give them stuff.
And then I'd let it go.

Let the girls figure this out on their own.

Your little one decided that $5 was worth it to have her big sister's time and this was worth it to your big one. Shrug. I don't think this is something to be upset or angry or sad about.

I really wish people would let their kids 'handle' these things on their own. When we put our own emotions away and let the kids sort it out, they learn *so much better* from these experiences than we could ever hope to 'teach' them with our interference. I wouldn't force your bigger one to do something she doesn't want to do.

For what it's worth, my son used to ask me to drop everything and go to the store because he had money to spend. I'd tell him that sure, I would, if he would compensate me for the price of the bus tickets and do the task that I couldn't do while we were out doing his thing. He declined. Everyone has a price when it comes to doing things they genuinely don't want to do, because then it is a job/work... if it were me, I'd just tell the girls "well, glad you both worked something out" and leave it at that. Stay out of it.

Oh, and the idea of having big sister give the money back? Nothing teaches a lesson like buyers remorse. Your eldest likely figured that this was the equivalent to babysitting. Let them learn on their own. Sure, talk about being wise with money... but we don't bail our son out when he makes a poor purchasing choice. Wouldn't teach him anything except that mom and dad fix everything. Ugh.

I would make big sis return the money and apologize to little sis for taking it, but only after having a real talk with big sister about how to treat those younger then you and how to not take advantage of people. I would also encourage her to work towards being a better big sister, it doesn't mean always saying yes, but she should say yes every once in a while and at least treat little sis with respect and not take advantage of her and take her money.

I'm a fan of steering/guiding/teaching children about spending money, at least at a young age. Not in a "mean" way - if she wants to spend her $10 all on ice cream, okay! But think about this - *where* did that $5 really come from? Part of grandma's Christmas gift, has now been used to pay off big sis? And - slippery slope - how much cash does your 6-year-old have squirreled away? Who will she pay next? Some no-good neighborhood kid who convinces her to pay for XYZ?

I think you should have a "money talk" with your 6-year-old, and also consider keeping a closer eye on her cash.

As for the oldest - "everybody's gotta make a living"/"there's a sucker born every minute", are not "sisterly" values. She should keep those tendencies in check. I'm not saying she has to give back the $5 this time, but let's all remember the importance of not being exploitative.

How old is big sis?
I'd be having a talk with big sis about exploiting her younger sister.
And I'd be having a talk with little sis about if you have to pay someone to hang out with you - it's not worth it.
You'll let it go this once but if it ever happens again - the money will be given back.
Some time away from each other with friends their own age is always a good idea.
It's always a mistake to force siblings to be together.
Some just are not (nor ever) compatible.

I too can relate to this - my kids haven't charged for their privilege of their company, but have certainly demanded favors or got something else (a toy they wanted, etc.) in exchange.

I just worked with my younger ones on that they shouldn't feel they have to pay to have someone's company - but in the end, it was their decision. My young kids have to run past me what they are buying/spending money on anyway - so you may want that rule if you don't trust her yet to know how to be smart with it.

I usually would do sleepovers in our living room and get a movie all the kids wanted to watch - then I didn't have to bribe anyone.

Had to laugh at this. On Thursday at about midnight my migraine was out of control and needed something cold, sugary and caffeinated (a giant cola slurpee). I texted my 24 year old daughter that I would pay her $20 for a giant cola slurpee. That's what it was worth to me!! She left wherever she was and I had my slurpee, she didn't take the money but I would have gladly paid

For a six year old overnight her price point would have been $200! She's not into kids or babies.

My kids always needed the "life lesson" to come full circle to understand something like this. In this instance, I would charge big sis for something she wanted me to do (make her dinner, take her to a friends). And for real make her pay it! Then later (after she has sulked about it a while), I would probably ask her how she felt about having to pay for something that should be done out of love for the other person. Only if big sis comes to the conclusion that it was wrong to take little sis' money and return it, then I would return big sis' money. Little sis would get the discussion of not paying for friendship.
Then, I would make sure to plan activities to help the sisters bond more.

Christine W. I am right there with you!! I pay my 22 yr old bring me things and/or run errands when she is in my area of town!

I think some conversations could be had with both of them but I wouldn't punish the older one. If they were both happy with the situation I would chalk it up to them finding a solution that world's for both of them. I don't feel like the older one should Have to give into the little ones demands for some thing like a sleep over. If she wants to fine..if the little one wants to pay for that fine.

My answer might be different if she had paid her $60 or if i were a little sister.

I'm guessing that you are disappointed in the older sister and possibility think she took advantage of her younger sister?

You might try talking to the older girl and coming up with a plan. Maybe she could do a sleepover once a month (or something like that). It would be nice if she could do nice things like this with her younger sister. You could talk to her about coming up with a plan/schecule. Maybe she could conclude the night by reading a book to her sister. That often makes younger ones sleepy. Just talk to her about ways that should could make a sleepover work and be more of a bonding time rather than something that she dreads doing.

You could also talk to the younger sister about the importance of getting sleep and letting her big sister get some sleep.

I wouldn't worry too much. It's perfectly normal for younger siblings to seek out the attention of older siblings and for older siblings to find younger siblings annoying.

One thing parents don't always understand is just how much difference there is in kids this far apart, and it's NOT THAT FAR!

But a 9 year old has a world's difference in interests, skills, cognitive abilities, and more.

In this instance I would tell her to give the money back and her penance is to spend XX hours over the next week playing with her sister in common areas of the home so I can observe them together.

They don't have a lot in common at this age and probably won't until they're both adults and out of college. But still, she could make an effort.