Just a Little Advice

Some babies need to feed more. My son just started sleeping through the night at 3! I slept with my son in my bed until he was 2, this made night-time feedings much easier. If he's hungry, feed him. He's still very young. Breast milk digests fast. Hunger is very painful to an infant. :)

his waking up could be anything from a bad dream and needing comfort to hunger to a little tummyache from his solid foods that are still new to him don't just let him cry it out that can be rough on their psychies my daughter was that way what I did was sleep in something that allowedher easy access to my breast and let her sleep in bed with me if she woke up she could just help herself and I barely even noticed. please don't abandon him to cry it out when he needs you the most.

I have a 2 year old and 6 month old twins I took advice from my Grandma make a bottle with breast milk or formula and add 1 tsp. - 2 tsp. of rice or mixed cereal for every ounce of milk. you will have to make the hole on the nipple a little bigger but it helps soooooooooooo much. and my kids dr. said this was ok. if you feed him & it still doesn't work you should try to let him cry it out ( it's hard at first but he will sleep after about 15 min. or so)

Here's the best advice I could give you. It is form La Leche League International. If you want to know more, conatcta La Leche League Leader in your area, visit www.lalecheleague.org

When Will My Baby Sleep Through the Night?
Just as you can't know when your baby will first smile or start to talk or decide to give up morning naps, there's no way to predict when your baby will sleep through the night. More importantly, there's no "right age" at which your baby should. As with any developmental milestone, your baby may be earlier or later than other babies in developing new skills.

In the early weeks, remember that your baby may not get enough nourishment if he sleeps through the night. Breastfed babies need to breastfeed at least eight to twelve times every 24 hours, usually every two to three hours. Most babies will gradually sleep for longer stretches at night, but they will continue to need night feedings for months. You may find this article about biocultural approaches to breastfeeding reassuring that this is normal. This overview of the research by sleep researcher, James McKenna is also reassuring.

You may have heard that giving your baby cereal will encourage sleeping longer at night. This simply isn't true. A baby's immature digestive system isn't ready for solid food until some time around the middle of the first year, and solids given too early may actually upset a baby's tummy. You will find information about this topic here.

Being awakened during the night can make mothers (and fathers) tired during the day. Especially during the early weeks, try to nap whenever your baby does. Resist the temptation to use baby's naptime to catch up on chores. Put off all non-essential household tasks, and tell your friends and relatives they can help you by bringing meals, running errands, or cleaning house. Lying down when you breastfeed your baby can also help you get a little extra rest. This NEW BEGINNINGS article suggests ways of coping with the lack of sleep.

Many mothers find that keeping baby close all night makes nighttime parenting less tiring. Throughout history, babies and mothers have traditionally slept close to each other. The idea that a baby belongs all alone in a crib is a fairly recent notion. Many have found "shared sleeping" or "the family bed" a good way to meet babies' nighttime needs with few interruptions to the parents' sleep. Rolling over to nurse your baby and drifting peacefully back to sleep is so much easier (and warmer in the winter!) than getting out of bed, going to the crib, sitting up to breastfeed the baby, and then struggling to get both of you back to sleep. This article discusses nighttime parenting.

Some authorities believe that parents need to teach babies to comfort themselves when they awaken at night, and some go as far as suggesting how long parents can allow a child to "cry it out" before responding. While such methods may work for some families, many other mothers and fathers have found peace in trusting their instincts and responding to their babies' cries. It helps to remember that babies' sleep cycles are very different from those of adults, and a young infant needs to awaken during the night in order to get enough nourishment.

Resources for Additional Information
In BREASTFEEDING ABSTRACTS you will find additional information about the work of Dr. James McKenna. Dr. McKenna also spoke at the 2001 International Conference and his session is highlighted in our donor newsletter as well as at the conference session reports.

These items may be available from theLLLI Online Store or through your local Leader:

THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING, published by La Leche League International, is the most complete resource available for the breastfeeding mother. (Softcover, 465 pages.)

The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
Many parents feel as if there are two schools of thought for encouraging babies to sleep through the night: let the baby "cry it out," or simply grin-and-bear-it. If you don't believe in letting your baby cry it out, but desperately want to sleep, there is now a third option, presented in Elizabeth Pantley's The No-Cry Sleep Solution. There is no strict plan to follow, rather ideas that you can adapt to fit your child and your family.

NIGHTTIME PARENTING by William Sears, MD
This newly revised edition includes the latest research on how sharing sleep may reduce SIDS risk. It also offers tips on safe sleep-sharing and an update on the benefits of breastfeeding at night as well as advice on other nighttime dilemmas such as how to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep; whether or not you should let your baby "cry it out;" dealing with toddlers who wake at night; and getting children to bed without a struggle. (Softcover, 201 pages)

Attachment Parenting by Katie Allison Granju
Looking for a practical guide for parents who want to be responsive and respectful of their baby's needs? Attachment Parenting is the book for you! It is filled with research and personal experience, and features extensive references relating to issues such as breastfeeding, wearing your baby, minimizing baby-parent separation, and co-sleeping. Foreword by Dr. William Sears. (Softcover, 312 pages)

Crying Baby, Sleepless Nights: Why Your Baby Is Crying and What You Can Do about It by Sandy Jones
What do you do when your baby just won't stop crying? How can you possibly know what to do once you've tried everything? This book may be what you need to regain your sanity and help your baby to settle down. Written in a warm, loving tone, this is a great book for frustrated parents. (Softcover, 162 pages)

The Family Bed: An Age Old Concept in Child Rearing by Tine Thevenin
This book explores the pros and cons of sharing a family bed and suggests that sleeping together will help solve bedtime problems and create closer family bonds. (Softcover, 195 pages)

R.,

At this age he doesn't need to wake up for a feeding. As long as your Dr. feels he is right on track nutritionally I would agree with him and let him cry it out.

One thing that will really help is to get him to bed earlier. 10 o'clock is way too late for a bed time. Over the next few weeks move his bed time back 15 minutes a day until he is going to bed between 7 and 7:30. He is probably having trouble sleeping because he is too exhausted. It sounds crazy but kids reach a point when they are so tired that really have trouble sleeping. An earlier bedtime should help.

Create a SIMPLE bedtime routine that cues him into knowing that its bedtime. Don't make it to long and elaborate because you will be doing this routine every night for years to come. Some kids like a warm bath (for my son it's too stimulating) and then a time to rock and sing a lullaby before bed. You could read a story or two, then nurse him a little. Whatever you think is best! I started using a lullaby CD when Jack was an infant. I turn it on as soon as we go to his room and then I change his diaper, lay him down in his crib with his blanket and lovey, and tell him Mommy Loves him and good night.

Make sure that your son has a Lovey too, something that he can cuddle or run through his fingers at bed time. Take sometime to make it smell like you put it in your shirt for a few minutes before you lay him down or sleep with it a few nights before you give it too him. Jack never uses his except at bed time and he just strokes the end of it until he falls asleep but without it he is restless and flails his arms so much it keeps him awake.

Also, feel free to go in the room and check on him if he wakes up.I would give him 3 min of cry time before you go in so that he can have a chance to go back to sleep on his own. Jack still wakes up and fusses a bit but goes right back to sleep. Checking on him will let him know that you care about him and that he isn't being ignored and give you reassurance that he is fine. Keep the lights off, (use a night light in the hallway if you can't see well) check his diaper, comfort him with a few pats and soft words, lay him back down and walk out of the room. If you make it brief (less than 2 min) and don't go back in, after a while he will realize that he needs to sleep and eventually he will learn how to self soothe so that he can go back to sleep. It sounds a little harsh but the longer you delay putting him back down and the more you go in the room after you have checked on him once you are letting him know that if he just cries long enough you will come to get him. Self soothing is a learned technique and just like you and I wake up at night and go back to sleep he needs to learn how to do this himself. When Jack learned this he cried for 45 min the first two nights and with each additional night the time got less and less.

I also began closing my sons door at bed time. We had the monitor on when we put him down and listened and if the door was closed he just realized, "ok mom closed the door" and he would settle right down. I leave his door closed at night because we are right next door and I still hear him just fine. Now the only time he has trouble sleeping is when hes teething.

Hope this was helpful!
M.

PS- I have heard great things about the book, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" if you can't bear to let him cry it out.

My first thought is that your son isn't getting enough food during the day and is waking up hungry at night. Or maybe he is sleeping too much during the day. At 9 months my son was taking a morning and afternoon nap and sleeping through the night. However, it wasn't always that way, my son had colic in the beginning and was refusing to sleep through the night. It was so draining. I finally read the book "BabyWise" and it helped tremendously. It teaches you how to get the baby on a schedule of eating, playing, and sleeping (and it can be hard because you have to let them cry it out). Some of the advice in the book wasn't for me so I just used the information that felt right for my family. And it worked, my son was finally sleeping through the night at 3 months and it was such a relief to get a good night sleep. You may want to consider checking it out, you can get it on Amazon.com for really cheap. Good luck!

Hey R., I know how you feel. My son isn't as old, but he still likes to wake up every couple hours and feed. He only eats a l ittle and then goes back to sleep. What I have found works for me is getting him on a strict schedule. I don't let him snack every two hours. I will feed him for 45 minutes if I have to, but do not let him eat a little and then fall back asleep. Do whatever you can to keep him awake, even if that means undressing him down to his diaper. It works for us. Good luck! C.

My little girl is 7 1/2 months and did the same thing, just the last 2 nights have been better. I read the responses below and I would NOT stop breastfeeding, you've made it nine months and it's so important the first year!

The nurse at my peds office recommended breastfeeding MORE during the day. So every chance I get I breastfeed her. Before naps, when she wakes up from naps... probably 5-6 times a day. I've been doing this for about a week now and the last 2 nights she has only woken up once... which is perfectly fine by me since she was waking every 2 hours to eat before. I'm hoping that the once will eventually fade too.

Also- I've read that babies should never go to bed later than 7 or 8:00. They just get overly tired staying up that late. I would try to bump the routine up earlier.

Good luck!!

Try leaving a radio on in his room so that he thinks someone is in there. Your doctor is right, you have let him cry it out even if it goes for a while. Try this, let him cry for about 15 minutes then go in and pick him up tell him he is alright and that he is a good boy. Put him back in his crib and leave. It will take about a week or so for him to realize that it is bed time and not a time to wake up and eat again. My son tried doing the same thing and I wanted sleep as well. I tried it and after about a week he realized that it is night time and it is bed time. Also try getting into a routine with him. It should help.

can you sleep while he is nursing? That is what I had to do when my daughter was that age. I would put her to sleep in her room then when she woke up I would bring her in to my bed let her latch on and I would just go back to sleep. Presonally I would not reccomend giving a formula substitute, the milk you make yourself is what is best for your baby. And try taking a nap when you get home from work, or before you go to work depending on what hours you are working. I know how hard it is to take a nap with a child that age though... you will make it through! We have the awesome power of being moms to help us out.

Well my daugher is also 9 months, she just stopped nursing. I tried to make her but once she starting to crawl FAST, she went on a nursing strict. Even before she stopped nursing she would wake up 2 to 3 times just like your son and cry until i gave her the breast. Since this was my second i really new she was just working me. He sould not need anything food in the middle of the night unless you can tell he is going through a growth spurt. My suggesting would be to give him a sippy cup with water. This way if he is thirty this will quinch his thirst and sooner or later water is just not worth waking up to. Also the crying it out is just something you have to go through, but you know your son's limit. oh yeah, a pasifer is another tool i would use. If she woke up that is all she would get. I will probably take 3-5 days before he knows you are not giving up. good luck

If you are worried about "starving" him offer a bottle right before he goes to bed. His stomach is big enough to keep him full for the night. I had this battle with my son when he was 6 months old. It lasted two nights. The first night I gave in after about 4 hours of intermittent crying and attempting to soothe him without feeding him. The second night he finally gave up, I guess he realized it wasn't worth all the effort. Be persistant, the older you let him continue this behavior the harder it will be to break it. Also, I would not recommend picking him up at night. Provide the least amount of physical comfort possible. I'm not saying to totally cut him off immediately, slowly offer less and less touching/comforting and take longer and longer between the times you go to him. He needs to learn how to comfort himself in order for either of you to get any sleep. It's not easy, but you'll get there. :)

Your son is old enough now that he does not need 3 feedings at night. As long as he eats breakfast, lunch, dinner and 2 mid day feedings, he will be fine. Your baby is more than likely getting plenty of food, and when he is full he will let you know. As far as when to feed him, you will want to start getting him on a schedule similar to yours, so that you are compatable and consistant. Have him eat his meals at the same time everyday that you do (if possible) and soon he will be on track. It will take some time at night to ween him from the feeding, but you can try soothing approaches: music, turning his mobil on, or rocking him in a chair, so that you still share time together but with out the food. Or, you can decide to continue to breast feed once in awhile at night, it has been know for some children to breastfeed until 2 years.........Consider yourself lucky that your son is sleeping through the night. From 10pm to 8 am is pretty good, and that gives you at least 8 hours of rest : )

My doctor also said the only thing you can do is let them cry it out (unless you don't mind continuing to nurse through the night). A nine month old can sleep thru the night if you feed them before bed. The only reason he is probably waking is because he'd prefer the comfort of mommy (also a very warm and cozy place-who can blame him). If you want sleep you'll have to let him realize he needs to stay in his crib. I think "Super Nanny" would say the same thing. I have 3 children (all very different temperments) and I let them "cry it out" in their crib starting at 6 months and they all slept through the night. They were all in our bed (and in the bassinet) until 6 months and I nursed all three of them until at least 11 mos.
Good Luck!

Hi R.! Do NOT stop nursing him, unless you absolutly do not fill comfortable with it any more. Like the other moms, try putting him on a stricter schdule and feeding him before he goes to bed. I would not be using a pacifier at this age, unless he has been using one since infancy. Good luck with this. Don't worry, you will get through it!

Your baby knows when he is hungry. He may be going through a growth spurt & needs more frequent feedings. I have never been real big on the cry it out thing myself especially when it is interupting my much needed sleep, even if it is interupted. My son up until 10 months did the same thing.Now at 11 months old he still wakes up twice a night to nurse. It won't last forever.

I was going through the same thing when my son was 7 months old. He is now nine months old also. My son would wake up once during the night. I was so out of it when he woke me up that I just nursed him to get him to go back to sleep. The pediatrician told me that he didn't "need" the food. He originally woke up for some other reason and got use to me just nursing him. I had to let him cry it out for a couple nights and then he was fine. Now I get to sleep through the night. I nurse him right before I lay him down awake for bed (9:30pm) and feed him when he wakes up (8am). Your baby might sleep a little less or more. He should sleep about 10 hours. After he cries the first time he will start to get use to the not getting fed and each time cry less. You can let him sleep longer because a bit of the night was spent crying and not sleeping or you can get him up when he wakes up the closest to his regular wake time and then he might sleep a little more during the day to make up for it. I don't recommend going into his room when he is trying to cry it out. I think this is confusing. Make sure he doesn't have a cold and is getting enough to eat during the day. You might also try giving him a dose of tylenol just to help him out. My son cried for alot longer than 15 minutes but he made it through just fine. Also I wouldn't stop breastfeeding either. And I don't think you should bring him to bed just because that prolongs ending the problem. Start on a Friday night and by Monday morning he should be getting the idea and sleeping a longer stretch of time. Hope this helps!

One thing that I learned is that at 6 mos old babies can go 8 hours without eating. I started with nap time getting my baby to go to bed on her own. I let her cry for 10 mins I go in there talk and console about 30 sec leave and repeat for 10 mins. It took about 40 mins the first time. Then at night time she was about 8 months old and I needed sleep so when she woke I set the timer for 10 mins then i would go back in every 10 mins tell her i love her and leave. I'll be honest I just wanted to nurse her it was breaking my heart. But I didn't it she cried for an hour 2 nights in a row and that's it. They just have to learn how to go to sleep on their own and they will figure it out. Now she is 10 mos old and sleep 12 hours straight. It'll be tough at first but you can do it, trust me it is worth it.

Hi R.,

I know exactly what you are talking about. At 9 months my son was still waking up wanting to be fed 2-3 times a night. And he wouldn't go back to sleep unless I let him nurse. I, like you, needed sleep, so on the advice of my pediatrician I quit nursing cold turkey. No more during the day and no more at night. He took the switch to formula during the day just fine, but night was a different story. He screamed and screamed, demanding to be fed. But I didn't give in. I stayed with him the whole night, comforting him as best as I could. He would fall asleep after a lot of crying, sleep for maybe an hour or two and then wake up and scream when I wouldn't feed him. As you know, eating at night at this age is not necessary, it's just a comfort thing. It's the way he likes to go back to sleep. Even if you're not ready to quit nursing completely, you can still cut off the nighttime feedings. It will be hard and he will protest a lot and loudly for at least a few nights (I think it took us almost a week before my son realized he wasn't getting anything and quit crying. Since then if he wakes at night he goes right back to sleep with a little cuddling or rocking). But you gotta hang in there and stay firm. He doesn't need to eat at night at all. If the doctor says he's healthy then he's getting enough to eat. If he wants to nurse after his meals that's fine. I hope this helps. Good luck.

I recommend reading the book Baby Wise and stick to it and you will be sleeping in no time and depending on when you have to get up you should give the last feeding 8-9 hours prior. So if you get up at 5AM then his last feeding should be at 8 or 9. As for always wanting the breast just stick a pacifier in his mouth. As you will learn from that book you start gradually like get a well organized eating routine like start out with every 3 or 4 hours and stick to it if he insist then you need to entertain him more then go longer like 5 to 6 hours feeding and so on again get a pacifier best if ortho pacifier. Then when you do put him to slepp make sure he is swaddled like what I called burrito or bundled nice and tight if he is the feely touchy baby then find something he likes to feel on like cotton or silk blanket. Don't forget buy the book and stick to your routine.

Give him a bowl of warm cereal before you put him down at night, and only offer him water if he wakes up. If you keep feeding him food or breast then he will keep waking up wanting it. At this age their tummies are big enough to go all night. I went through this with my son for a while. We changed the whole household routine to settle him down to sleep through, dimming lights, turning down or off the TV, taking away the stimulation. I would then feed him his cereal and offer him his bottle to top off if he wanted ( he wasn't breast feed because my milk never came in) If he woke up in the night I offered him water and with in 3 days he slept through. Also, if he does wake up at night, keep stimulation to a minimum, no lights or use a night light, don't talk a lot to him etc. I'm not saying give him the cold shoulder but if he thinks is play time or cuddle time he will continue to get up. Have you tried a binkie with him?

can he use a sippy cup yet? If you can train him on a sippy cup then start offering a cup of water with the first waking. He may decide it isnt worth waking up for anymore if you just offer water. Alot of the times at this age if the baby gets enough to eat during the day he shouldnt wake over night to nurse. So many babies wake up purely out of habit.

R.,
I had the same problem when my daughter was about his age. My pediatrician told me I needed to let her cry it out. After they begin eating solids, they get enough nutrients to hold them through the night. I started giving her a bedtime snack (something with protein) to hold her through the night and then I had to let her cry it out. It took about 2-3 nights but eventually she stopped. Now she is 15 months and goes to bed without difficulty around 8:30 and sleeps until 8 am. He probably is getting full if he is eating 3 square meals a day, the breast is just a comfort thing. A bedtime snack will help ensure he is getting enough. I hope this helps!

I just wanted to say that it is awsome that you are still nursing after 9 months. Keep it up!! My daughter is 10 months and up until recently, I was also worried about if she was getting enough baby food. My pediatrician told me that she should be eating food 3 times a day and nursing only 3-4 times a day. Right now, I have cut down to nursing her first thing in the morning, once mid afternoon and once late at night. I feed her food once in the morning (about 2-3 hours after I nurse), once in the afternoon, and then once in the evening before her bedtime routine). If she is full before putting her to bed, she sleeps much longer. Good luck!!

R.-

I went through a similar thing when my now 4-yr old was the same age. The best thing I found was to just let him cry it out. Cut back one night-time feeding at a time. If he fusses, give him five minutes, listen and see what he does. He may just fuss and go back to sleep. Don't give in to his "demands", but try to be gentle yet firm. Try it over a period of a few weeks' time to cut out all the night-feedings. He's probably getting enough to eat during the day, he's just looking to you for comfort, since he likely has no self-soothing ablility. Just hang in there. Eventually you both will be able to get a full night's sleep. Best of luck to you!

Hi R.,

I went though this with my son. There are a couple of things that can be happening. First, he may not be getting enough to eat during the day. Also if you are still breast feeding you need to make sure what you are eating so that you are producing enough nutrient based milk to satisfy him. The other thing to look at is that he may just need you. This is way of staying attached.

I am a nutritionist and if you would like to go over what you and the baby are eating, to make sure it’s enough, give me a call. I will give you a free evaluation.

Hope this helps

L.
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