Judging Someone on Their Past

A political candidate changing their platform to appeal to one side, is not the same as growth. Political flip flopping, is not growing. Public "belief" and actual personal conviction are two different things. We will never know what he REALLY believes, because dang it...he's a politician. He needs votes. (This goes for any politician, really.)

As long as someones old self doesn't include abusing people, animals, and children...or being OK with those things EVER...I'm usually pretty cool.

There is a huge difference between me and a politician.

Looking at someone's past and how it evolved into the present does tell you a lot about the person. It shows growth, if nothing changes it shows they are dogmatic, rigid, really not open minded.

Now with a politician it means none of that. It means they polled and found this opinion is more popular with who they are targeting for votes. So that they change their opinions goes to their credibility. That they do it a lot shows they don't stand behind their own opinions and really aren't fit to lead.

The thing I feel people are getting at with the Obama quote is not so much he believed this in the past because lets face it, we have no idea what he believed ever. What they are getting at was it was accepted then by the same people that are now bashing Chick Fil A and the reason it not that those people evolved. The reason is they were told to be mad now and no one told them they should be mad back then. :(

I believe every day we have the opportunity to be a new and better person. A decision I made yesterday may not be the one i make today -- given any new info or circumstances.

Thus, I believe it is brave when someone can change their mind or their position. Especially if they can admit to a change.

Have a great day.
jilly

While I agree with 99% of what you have just said, I think when it comes to a POLITICIAN saying it, there is room for debate about their sincerity and intentions.

Did they TRULY have a change of heart? Did they TRULY hold that position in the first place? Or, are they just pandering because they see their poll numbers plummeting?

Politicians across the spectrum flip-flop on issues, and I rarely trust them when they do.

There are things that I believed when I was 18 or 25 that I don't today, but I think when someone in their 50s, who has spent his entire career in Leftist organizations claims that he didn't KNOW enough, or have enough exposure to it, that's a bunch of BS. It is as ridiculous as Donald Trump saying last year that he didn't know what he thought about Roe v. Wade: that he was still weighing the issue and would have an answer in a few months. Really? A court decision that was made 40 some years ago and you STILL haven't formulated an opinion?

there are a few things that factor into it for me. i do think we learn and grow and change our minds about things. i sure have. what sets off red flags for me is when i hear someone passionately espousing a POV that is a 180 of a former POV while insisting that THIS is how they've felt all along.
there has to be a) an admission that this is a changed stance and b) a reason for it (other than 'i'm lying frantically to get you to vote for me.)
khairete
S.

It's funny that you bring this up. Just tonight I was remembering a few backwards conversations that I had with my mom as a kid.

Today she's almost an entirely different person. I mean, too, she's exactly the same, like she's become MORE herself. Do you know what I mean? Like instead of changing or becoming someone else, or loosing herself completely, she just blossomed into this wonderful super-her. It's neat. She'll be sixty this coming year, and she's the kind of woman who won't stop growing as long as she's alive. She's always becoming richer in spirit.

But, ideologically, she's a vastly different person. When she went back to school, her world blew open and she found this new awareness of inequality and oppression. Suddenly, she went from being (unknowingly) somewhat ignorant (her words), to being this champion of equality. I'm so proud of her. Every day she becomes a stronger and more compassionate. She does profound work in this world.

Me myself? I guess I'm still somewhat of a baby. I mean, 20 years ago I was in my single digit years. So yah (chuckle) I've changed quite a lot. Still same old Ephie too. My teenage years and the first few years of my twenties got pretty hairy. Pretty dark. (understatement of the year)

It's actually tough to think about, remembering who I was, how it was to be me, where I was at. My ideologies have shifted and expanded, but in fact, it's my actual person (not my identifiers) that have really undergone a sort of metamorphosis. Before my daughter came into this world, I just didn't have a sense of who I was or what I was. I was very lost and very fractured. I've changed a lot. Especially in the past 5 years.

The older I get, the more conservative I get on some issues, the more liberal on others.

It seems there are a whole lot of people on this board who can read minds. I wish that I had that skill.

The ability to change one's mind based on past experiences and newly gained wisdom (and, yes, wisdom can even be imparted by children) shows that a person can evolve and grow. Not changing your minds about anything over a 5, 10, 20 year period seems to show a distinct lack of ability to grow and evolve.

That said, changing your mind back and forth throughout a primary season and a campaign does not reflect growth. And I'm not referring to Obama here. Etch-a-sketch anyone?

Let's hope we all change our opinions as we live and gain experience. Can you imagine having an opinion, and then never being willing to change it no matter how much evidence to the contrary you encountered? Although there are people who do this.

What President Obama and what you are talking about are not the same thing.. In the 2004 quote he was talking to a conservative audience. Later he realizes that he will lose his base if he continues to say that. That's not personal growth, but pure politics.

My thoughts and feelings about stuff have defiantly changed. I would be a little upset if someone would bring up something that I used to feel 5-10 years ago. I believe I've matured and grown up enough to really look at the world and look at what I thought and now think.

I believe we all have personal growth especially as we mature. There is a difference between personal growth and politics. I believe President Obama is a very calculating politician and plays to his audiences, as most politicians do.

My core values have not changed. His did. That is what I question. He was against it before he was for it before he was against it. Make up you mind already!!!

Definitely . . . nearly all my life I believed I would be a working professional, even after I had children. Somehow I got the impression that being a wife and mom was a "lesser" thing to do.

Little did I know that I would not only be a stay-at-home mom, but also a homeschooling mom!

Yes, people do evolve and change their thoughts and feelings on certain issues. I'm just glad we didn't have Facebook when I was a kid and young adult LOL!

I believe that people change.... I know I have changed my stance on several topics. I may be uneducated about something (or think I'm educated...) and have one opinion, but that opinion evolves as I learn more about the topic.

But I find it fishy that Obama suddenly decided to publicly change his stance on gay marriage RIGHT before elections....

Totally agree. People change and so do opinions usually based on experience. I have found that the hardest people to accept change like this is family (for me at least, living far away.) People like to think that they still "know" you and if you express a something that is not the norm for you... look out!

I don't get upset about it though. I have reasons for my views that I can back up with information that makes sense. I don't necessarily feel like I have to explain my old self/new self. If someone wants to hear why I feel the way I do about a certain subject I can talk about it without a war.

I think that sometimes when people don't have to deal with an opinion other than to just have one, it's easy to judge. When all of a sudden you have to deal with opinions and see the difficulty involved, in being responsible for how it affects people's lives, then things DO change. And having a personal opinion and a public opinion aren't necessarily the same.

Dawn

Oh hell if someone judged me based on who I was 10 years ago I certainly wouldn't have much in my life. I think it goes without saying that as we age and experience life, our values change and appreciation for what we have. 10 years ago I didn't have kids, didn't really want any. Now, I have 3, and would give or do anything for them, and put them first. I would be much more bothered if someone didn't grow and advance their opinions. The only way we can do that though is through time and life experiences!

People change their minds as we get older.
Some more liberal, some more conservative.
We all do - we grow and change and we have more information and life experience.

But if someone tells me a child sex offender has grown or changed - I'm sorry but his past makes a difference and I'm still going to judge him on it.
He can be different all he wants - but no where near MY child.

It would be so..... so.... boring, if everyone was the same now as they were decades ago.
Can you imagine?
I am not talking politics etc.
But just the fact that, YES... most people do change per age and per whatever they have gone through in life. For good or not.
Imagine being at a High School Reunion....
would you want... everyone to be the same now, as they were then?
I wouldn't.

I don't need permission to change my mind or opinions nor to explain a new self or old self or usual self.
I just am, and I know that. And if someone from my past... say like 15 or even just 5 years ago, expected me to be the SAME now as I was then.... well that is their, expectation.
Not, mine.

Yes, people are human and we ALL have done this. Changed our minds. Or ourselves.
For whatever personal reason it was.

People are constantly changing and growing (hopefully for the better). If someone tells me that thier opinion on topic X has changed over time, then unless given a particular reason not to I usually believe them.

What is important is the motivation for the change / context of the statements. Both can be red flags and should be considered when determining whether or not the change is real.

yes i have changed over the years and some of my opinions have changed as well. :) change can be good

For common people like us, I'd say if we didn't learn to change our opinions and question our previous assumptions as we progress, then we are being stuck.

Politicians, well. They are humans too, and we could cut them some slack once in a while. But certain times, their job doesn't call for switching opinions without just cause. So, any job-related opinion reversal doesn't sit well with me. If its about something that isn't going to cause a split amongst the Congress, heck, I don't care. :)

In my opinion this is not judging someone on his or her past. This is pointing out a change in someone's opinion and on some level asking for an explanation.

For me there are a few layers at work. On the larger level involving personal opinions we are entitled/allowed room to grow and mature as humans. In turn our opinions have the potential to change as a result of this growth. I believe most of us accept changing opinions over the years due to growth/maturity/life experience because we have personally experienced these changes.

On a finer scale, though, we have to recognize changing personal opinions can and do have an impact on and within relationships (platonic, marital, etc.). These shifting opinions can create problems among the parties involved especially if there is a feeling of betrayal, shifting values or change in other larger investments between the people involved in the relationship. For instance, if you marry with an agreement to raise your children on a farm and then your spouse changes that opinion over the years indicating he or she wants the children to have city exposure, then needless to say there is going to be a potential for problems which will have to be resolved. Another example is if a person indicates he or she wants a traditional burial and then at the end of his or her life decides to change to cremation with a no frills ceremony. I have seen firsthand how this scenario can play out – well, Grandma’s dead so we’re doing it the traditional way and since the old bat is dead, she won’t be any the wiser. So much for Grandma’s opinion I suppose. In my mind these examples and others have the potential to leave people feeling like they are left holding the bag so to speak. You’ve traveled the path with one goal or view in mind and then suddenly that shifts. I don’t think it is unreasonable for people to become upset and demand an explanation or to hold the other person accountable for that shift.

With the example you have given, though, it is not a personal opinion per se. It is a public opinion which a person used as part of his or her campaign for election. This politician appealed to his supporters on certain topics in certain ways. The supporters cast their votes in support of how this politician portrayed how he or she would operate on behalf of his supporters. After all we vote to have our voices heard and to ensure our government operates as we deem fit. I don’t think it is unreasonable for the supporters to be annoyed/angry/upset when their chosen elected official changes his or her opinions. On a basic level we may attempt to understand how the change came about but it is doesn’t change the fact the politician’s stance changed. If you as a supporter haven’t changed your opinion and/or if you feel the politician’s change was not motivated by the best of intentions/experiences/reasons, then undoubtedly there will be a gaping hole of betrayal. I would say the angst for these changing opinions is even greater because there are elements of both of the personal above involved. However, there is also the deeper issue of the politician’s supporters feeling lead astray in terms of having their government function as they believe their vote should indicate. Politics are political and as such I don’t think it is entirely reasonable to expect a politician to be able to act exactly as he or she feels on every issue. However, the politician needs to be able to translate how he feels, how politics really works and his public opinions into a more cohesive unit. For me that is not an unreasonable request from the voters – say what you mean, explain when/why you change that and stay the course with loyalty. Idealistic perhaps but what most people want I suspect.

Yep, I have a lot more insight and wisdom now than I did at 18....of course my opinions have evolved.

absolutely. life is about growing and changing. opinions change, as they should.

from the title of your post i was prepared to defend my right to not associate with people based on how they have treated ME in the past. i have a right to remove myself from the possibility of being treated like that again (or my child)....but opinions? absolutely can change. SHOULD change.

i never think we should hold politician's broken promises or former opinions against them TOO much anyway. they don't get to really act on their own feelings most of the time. just saying....

I have found since growing up, maturing and having my own thoughts that I am happy that my opinions and beliefs have changed. We learn and experience new things everyday that change how we feel and think. Change is a good thing.

Oh, yes, the thought process and attitudes have definitely changed. Change wasn't easy, but it happened! I don't hate it when I'm reminded of how I thought/felt years go. Let's me know that I've learned, and grown!

ABO, no matter how many times he flip flops