Joint custody...hungover!

Yeah, sometimes we dont have a choice.
And it could happen at home too even if you were married, something to consider.
Lots of times when parents dont live under the same roof they change the rules, when in all reality most of the same stuff would happen if you were married and living together.
Kids dont even notice, they are usually too busy being kids.

Its no different if you two were still together and you got a babysitter to go out and he got drunk and you behaved yourself because you knew you had to go to work today.

You would have gotten up and got ready to go to work and would have walked out the door leaving your little one with thier Dad who was hung over. And probablly never gave it a second thought. At least he didn't get a sitter on his time with his child to go party instead of spending time with his child. He still took his child and Im sure will still take just as good as care of them.

All parents who drink at one point or another and have had too much and had a hangover the next day... we still take care of the children. It will probablly just mean until the his headache goes away its going to be some calm activities like watching tv. IMO it doesn't make him a bad parent. He had a little too much fun on his time. Knowing he had his child the next day he probablly should have mellowed out some... but that was his choice.

If he knew the kid was coming and got himself a headache, well, stinks to be him. As long as he's not drunk, he could still take care of the kid. His headache is no more important than if you got a migraine on your time. It's called parenting.

it's not as though he was drunk. he did something stupid and got himself a hellacious headache - his problem. he knew he had kiddo duty. he will have to suck it up and be a good dad anyway. hopefully he won't take his discomfort out on the kiddo. but hey...life happens. if you have no one else to take him, he takes him. and he needs to be a grownup about it. sahm's still take care of kids even if they are sick as a dog. you deal with it.

My first thought was what do you do if your married and the same thing happened? Not knowing of any other issues with the ex, most people probably cut their spouse slack and are ok leaving the kids with the parent who overindulged (though I've never gotten that drunk). If there were OTHER factors to influence the decision, that would probably get more sway. Parents have to parent when they don't feel well, that's just how it is.

If there is a court order you have no choice. He can call the police and you will have to surrender the child no matter what.

Everyone gets headaches now and again, that is not a reason to not let his child see him. He will feel better in a while anyway. If it was an every visit thing then I would address it next time you went to court.

You would probably have to the first time, as there wouldn't be any other plan.

But only you know his behavior towards his child in this kind of hungover condition. Not all men will rise to occasion and yes, it could leave the child in a dangerous unsupervised way.

Let me tell you story of a dear friend of mine....many years ago, he worked nights, his wife worked days...they made the classic switch off, he turned the TV on for the little guy while he went back to sleep on the sofa next to him, and his little boy climbed up on the kitchen counter, into a cupboard where he found a bottle of liquid drain opener and was able to open it and drink it.

The poisonous drain opener basically disintegrated this child's esophagus and he died in his father's arms on the way to the hospital in the ambulance, choking on his own blood.

It's funny to say in other's post that they hope the child whines and throws tantrums. But honestly, your child is not being left with a coherent and responsible adult at that particular moment.

I would recommend you make alternative plans or some other back up solution if this ever happens again. But again, you know him best..how likely is it to happen again?

Did he know that he was going to have his child, and got wasted the night before anyway?

That's the difference to me. If it was a last minute thing, that's a bit different. Regardless of the drinking aspect, we've all taken care of kids with splitting headaches, migraines, splitting headaches, or pulled muscles.

Dawn

I would wonder how many moms go through a day watching their kids with migraines so why would you even question a hangover?

Think about it, if he didn't mention it your wouldn't even know. I mean you are not one of those people from Fringe that can actually feel someone else's pain, right?

Yes, I would. And it might teach him not to do that again.

Yeah I guess I would, as long as 1) he wasn't still falling down drunk, and 2) he promised not to drive my child anywhere. That much alcohol takes a long time to fully leave the bloodstream so he should not be driving, at least this morning.

I would expect your child to watch a sizeable amount of tv today.

As long as he doesnt mistreat the child I say it serves him right and I hope the child fusses, whines, cries, throws a tantrum and bugs him non stop all day. Maybe he will learn a lesson from his stupidity. Perfect punishment if you ask me.

I suppose I would do it if I had to. But I would document the incident a long with any others and I would choose a time when the girl is not present and he's not hung over, to tell him that if he doesn't get his act together, you'll have him back in court asking for supervised visits only.

I am sure no one knowingly would do this, but by the same token if you do know it and he seems incapable of caring for the child then I suppose you would have to make a decision. If it is a hangover in all likelihood he will survive the day (dad) that is and if he has always been responsible there is probably no one reason he won't with or without a headache. I have had blinding headaches, took care of my children and it wasn't a hangover. Now if you see he is falling all over drunk, unable to drive, etc. etc. it is up to you to protect him. I wouldn't run around with a breathalyzer and test him, if he is at the hangover stage and at home you might discuss with him what should happen. Obviously he shouldn't have gotten drunk, but if he makes it a habit and your child is neglected you need to step up to the plate.