Joining Us in Bed & Milk Supply

My 7 month old sleeps with us. We are getting ready to transition her to a crib, starting out with naps first. My theory is to allow the baby to be with you as much as possible. It might just be me, but I'm not one to let my little one get stressed out, hollering just because I want a few more winks, plus since she sleeps better for those 45 minutes, why not. Hopefully things will be okay when she gets in a crib, as she sleeps anywhere we lay her anyway. I have to make adjustments for her. I don't get as much sleep at night, but I rest when she takes a nap after I get home from work.

First - it is not a bad habit at all. (My oldest slept in bed with us until he was 6 months old.) I think it is perfectly fine. I do the same with my 2 year old. My husband leaves for work at 7:00 so if he is up before 7:00 he either hangs out with Daddy helping him get ready for work or he's in bed with me. As long as she's still going down in her crib for you at night, I don't see any problem with it.

Second - I had similar issues with breastfeeding. Neither of my kids could latch so I pumped with both of them. I could feed a third world country on what I was able to pump with my oldest. With my youngest though I was lucky if I could get 3 ounces TOTAL. Sadly, but for my own sanity, I stopped pumping with him long before I stopped with my oldest.

Good luck to you!!

K. - SAHM of 2 boys, 5 and 2

No advice, but I wanted to commisetate. My 3 month old son does the same thing--wakes up around 2:30am for feeding, goes back to sleep beautifully, then wakes up around 5am and will stay awake unless I bring him to bed, where he will sleep wonderfully, often for a couple more hours. I've felt like I probably shouldn't bring him into bed, but decided to continue until fall, when I'll have to get up around then for work anyway. How does your little one do for naps? Mine will eventually nap anywhere BUT his crib--and even then it's with a huge fight. Good luck with the transition!

Why is letting her get into bed with you a bad habit? It probably allows both of you to get more much-needed rest and if she nurses during that time, all the better. It just helps to increase your milk supply. Every family is different--my husband I did not plan to do the whole family bed thing but our son has slept with us since birth (he's jsut turned 2) and it just feels right. It is a glorious thing that we all get plenty of sleep and spend quality time together (especially me because I work out of the home and so am gone all day--my husband works part time in the evenings so he sees our son more).

Nursing often is really the best thing you can do to boost milk supply. I know I always pumped very little milk while at work but I never had any trouble providing enough through nursing even though I felt sure that my son was never getting enough milk from me. It is hard to trust your body to have control in that way but if you are nursing frequently and drinking plenty of water maybe it is all psychological. Because I could never pump very much I always felt like that must mean I just wasn't producing but my body just got used to nursing mostly at night and the early morning so those were the times I produced the most milk.

Just do what feels right for you--not what the books say you should do--and it will be fine. Good luck.

I have done the same thing with both of my little boys-now ages 2 and 4... It really wasn't hard to break them of it. In fact the just started sleeping later on their own... However if I want to sleep past 7:00am they come crawl in my be sometimes, but they let me sleep which I am pregnant and need the extra rest someday to get through the day. My boys call it mommy time if they get to sneak into my bed without the other one. Dad doesn't mind either so it just works out. When the try to crawl into the bed any earlier then 5:30am I snuggle them for a few minutes then take them back to their own bed and they do just fine...

Your little one is just not quiet use to being on her own for such a long period... she needs some snuggles and comfort after such a long night, however she is not ready to be awake for the day either or she would not fall back to sleep.

Good Luck-\
L.

Hi,
I do the exact same thing, I have my son sleep in his crib until he wakes around 6 and then I take him in bed with me and he sleeps 2 more hours.Don't feel guilty, as long as your baby sleeps all night in her crib, there is nothing wrong with getting some snuggle time and some more sleeping time for you !!It is hard enough not getting uninterrupted sleep, which already starts in pregnancy, I haven't slept through a night in over a year and I am sure you are there, too.So cuddle up with your baby and get some extra sleep, which makes you happier and more patient and your baby is less cranky, too. A win-win solution and don't listen to anyone telling you it is bad !!!!!!!Sorry can't help you with the milk supply question.Keep snuggeling !!!!!

M.-
I'm facing the same milk supply issue and am taking fenugreek. I'm not able to pump enough to feed my daughter from so when I go back to work I'll have a hard time even giving her 50% so I'm hoping fenugreek works. I was offered Reglan (sp?) by my OBGYN which is a chemical prescription but opted not until we see how the fenugreek works. So maybe Reglan might be your next step?

Best of luck and working moms (all moms really!) needs that sleep I say if you're getting 45 more minutes and you need it take it. You can work on it once she starts sleeping through the night.

J

Sleeping with your is not a bad habit and it may be thing to help with your milk supply. I would contact La Leche League regarding your supply. It is normal for babies to have a growth spurt at about 3months. I would not give formula that will interfere with increasing your supply. I would nurse on demand for a couple of days and that should build your supply up to meet your child's demand. If you have you baby in the bed with you for all or part of the night then you get more sleep and a well rested mommy is always a good thing but since you are working it also gives your baby all night access to you which can help with supply without you having to loose sleep. If you want great information on infant sleep try Sweet Dreams by Dr. Paul Fleiss. It is a quick easy read loaded with good clinical information on what realistic expectations are for infant sleep.

First of all, I am not you. :D

As someone else mentioned, LLL might be helpful.

Have you looked at kellymom.com? She has a list of foods that are useful for drying up supply--you might want to make sure those foods are limited in your diet. She also has really good info on milk stimulators.

*fenugreek + blessed thistle is better than either of them alone.
*Eat oatmeal--not instant. Cookies are a really easy way to get it down.
*Add alfalfa sprouts to your salads. You can also take alfalfa supplements, but you need to be careful how it's processed. One kind causes weight gain; the other doesn't. I can't remember which is which.
*Brewer's yeast is supposed to be helpful as well, in part because it's high in B vitamins.

Unfortunately, I cannot comment on your second question as I did not have to return to work after my children were born so I was able to continue a breastfeeding schedule without problem. BUT I do have some thoughts on your sleeping arrangement. I don't think you need to worry at this point. Your baby is only 3 months old. You have a toddler at home as well AND you work full time. You NEED your sleep. If bringing the baby into bed with you gives you that extra sleep time -- GO FOR IT!!! I have a 4 year old and 3 year old. I absolutely loved that snuggle time with my children and did it every night when they were both infants. In fact, my husband and I still have a snuggle time with them each night before bed and that has never caused a problem with them going to bed on their own at bed time. Both of my kids were nursed in bed until they were at least 9 months old. Now at 4 and 3 - they go to bed when they are told and they do it without even as much as a wimper. I found that if I give them that special time with us when they are getting sleepy (it is usually for 30 minutes at the most - often my 3 year old asks if she can go to her own bed before snuggle time is up) they are happy to go to bed because they are not missing anything from us. So, give your babies that snuggle time AND give yourself the extra sleep. A rested mommy is a happier mommy, which makes for happier babies! Plus, the time that they are this small goes by so fast so why have to put limits on it??? It won't hurt in the long run!

I don't see anything about about bringing your child into bed with you.

As for your milk supply, by three months your milk supply is demand driven. Before this it was mostly hormonal. If your milk supply isn't as much as you want and you haven't started any medication that could be influencing it, then you need to be adding more nursing sessions with your child. While pumping is good, a lot of women do not get enough stimulation from the pump and need the baby's stimulation to increase milk supply, particularly night time feeding. Feed her well before bed, during the night and in the morning when she comes to bed with you.

I wouldn't worry about her forming a habit at such an early age. I do it with my daughter who is 5 months so I can get some more rest and so she doesn't wake up her 4 yr old brother. We have read that you can't spoil them enough under age 1 and as she gets older and sleeps longer she will more than likely break that anyway. So enjoy your sleep and shower while you can.

Hi M.,

Bringing your baby into bed with you is not a bad habit. As you see your are getting some extra sleep. The baby will not be with you in bed forever--after all she has to leave for college! LOL! Many cultures co-sleep. I suggest you read any of the parenting books, especially Nighttime Parenting, by William Sears, MD and Martha Sears RN. Dr. Sears is a pediatrician and he and his wife have raised about 8 kids of their own. You may also want to check the research done by Dr. James Mckenna on co-sleeping.

As to your milk supply. Usually at 3 months, moms find their breasts are softer and think that they are losing their supply, which is not the case. First, you need to rule out---have you started any new medication? Hormonal birth control can also deplete milk supply. Are you pumping often enough during the day. If you work a typical 8 hour day and do not see the baby to nurse, you should be pumping at least 3 times per day. Do you have a good pump? You need a professional pump, such as Medela Pump in Style or Ameda's Purely Yours. These pumps are good and mad for you to succeed. Anything else, is not good, will not keep up your supply and can actually cause damage to your breast tissue.
Also, when you are home with the baby, you need to be nursing, not pumping.

As far as herbal help, I suggest a combination of Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek capsules. Three of each, three times a day as recommended by Dr. Jack Newman (http://www.breastfeedingonline.com/24pdf.pdf).

Hope this helps.
G. T.

Hi M.,

You know the answer to your first question. You just have to grin and bear it for awhile

The second question. contact your la leche league advocate.

Get into a mom's support group and take some parenting classes.

www.lllusa.org or 1-800-525-3243

www.kidspriorityone.org or ###-###-####

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.

Dear M.,

for the first part of your letter I would say that it's a loot easier to break the habit now than when they are 5 months old or more. Let her fuss a little in the crib for a day or two and she'll forget the habit. If she doesn't - move her to the crib after falling asleep with you so when she wakes up - she will be her crib - think might help.

Second issue - you just can't fight mother nature! Don't be upset that you are running dry - accept it and move on. It's important to keep putting her on the breasts as much as she's willing to stay there - most of the cases is as much as there is milk :) and if she seems still hungry and unhappy - feed her some formula. This way you are trying to improve your chances - but if you are running dry - can't fight it - accept it and be happy so you can keep your baby happy too!

Hi, M.,

Just one thing about your first question: I've been bringing my 8.5-month-old son into bed with us for 30 min to 1 hour every morning since he was born, and it works great for us! I wouldn't worry about stopping if it allows you to have a few more minutes of sleep (which we all so desperately need) and the possibility of showering in peace (be sure she isn't in danger of rolling off the bed once she gets to that point). We love it too because it gives my husband and I some time to cuddle with him before my hubbie goes off to work! :) As long as it hasn't affected her night or nap time sleep, I wouldn't worry.

I don't know what to tell you about milk supply, because when I had problems pumping worked.

About bringing your baby into bed with you. IT IS NOT A BAD HABIT. This is a great way for the two of you to have some quality time togeher and you both sleep! They are babies for such a short time enjoy this time together. Besides sleep is important for both of you, and if you can slip off and get a shower, terrific. Just make sure that as she gets older you use a side rail. They make ones that slide under the mattress so that it is easy to only put it up when she is in the bed. I have co-slept with my 21 month old son since the second day he was home from the hospital. It has been such a rewarding experience that I plan to do it if we have a second.

I agree with Andrea. My 8 month old wakes around 5:45 or 6:00 and I then bring her in bed with us. Sometimes she sleeps, sometimes we all just lay there and play. I love starting our day this way. She is used to it, but if you start letting her fuss in her crib for a little longer each day, she'll be fine. Do what you feel comfortable with, but don't feel pressure that you've started a bad habit. If it makes you all happy, its not wrong!

First about your "bad habit". I don't see it as a bad habit at all, I did the same thing with my DS and didn't have any problems with transitioning him out of our bed as he got old enough that he needed to stay in his own bed, in fact some morning I miss him and go get him and put him in bed with us for the last little bit so that we can all wake up together and talk and play a little until we get up. If you really think it's such a bad thing then just stop, she'll get used to it faster than you think if you just don't give her the option.

As for milk supply, try pumping WHILE you're breast feeding along with the usual times that you pump, the extra stimulation while your breastfeeding could really help you get more milk. You might also need to get a different pump, some manual ones can be better than the electric ones because you can control how fast you're pumping, it's just tiring. If you need to you can rent a hospital grade pump from your hospital or LaLeche League for about $40 a month which should also bring your milk supply back up because it is the only pump you can use if you're not breastfeeding directly and still keep your milk supply. My sister had a son with a cleft palette and couldn't nurse him and after trying almost every pump on the market she rented one and had so much milk that she ended up with over 5 gallons extra in about as many months.

I hope this helps, sorry for being so long. Good luck.