My husband and I lost our home with the first recession in the Clinton years. We both got laid off that same year. This year, I lost my job and he just lost his largest contract. I can tell you that it's not easy and it only gets tougher. You must act quickly. If you can save the house, do it. If you can't don't worry about the house. Many of my friends lost theirs and put alot of money into saving it, in hopes they would be able to. They failed. One is working again, but I'm not. You can actually live in your home for up to two years without paying mortgage at all. But I only knew this because my husband took real estate courses years back. Be willing to relocate at some point in the future by renting if you must. Can't tell you what to do with the retirement. It's hard to say without looking at the entire picture. If it means no more payments EVER, I'd say it's pretty tempting to do it. You can always rebuild a retirement but how quickly depends on your discipline and the amt you put in with the new job. So, much will depend on what you don't know at this time. You know your husband will likely get a job. What you don't know is what day. That's a disadvantage in planning. In the meantime, here is my suggestion to you. Sell all your worldly posessions. Sell your furnishings to a consignment store or recycler.com or pennysaver or craigslist. Sell anything of value that you can get later when things improve. It helps to downsize for many reasons. We sold our boat, our trailer, our tractor, tools, clothing, everything. We sold it quickly to bring in money. We cut down our lifestyle and did without alot. You don't need everything you have. You do need food and shelter. Your objective is to buy time. You can do it, trust me. And keep your husband happy. If he yells it's his stress speaking, not him. Don't stress him out. Keep him fed, and go to a discount theatre, go to goodwill for clothes, play music in the home more, have more cheaper dinners, be creative as to how you do it. And call your cell company and see if they can reduce the bill. Call cable to see if they can reduce the plan. You still have to have entertainment. In Riv county they have a "level pay plan" for utilities. I don't know about the OC. And Sprint has a new plan called "seasonal standby" that is $8.99/mo to keep your phone number and not accrue more minutes. It's kinda like freezing your account. You can do it for up to 6 months. Have him sign up with lots of headhunters to help him find work, even when he's depressed. Indeed.com, careerbuilder.com, yahoojobs, monster.com, volt technical, etc. Stay positive. God be with you.