JFF..sorta! Mother-in-law Question

My MIL uses baby voice for everyone. Baby voice drives me up the wall. My Grandma does the same thing, and even though I love both women, hearing them talk for extended periods of time is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

They just know EVERYTHING, right?
As though they are the only one, who knows... everything.
And what's worse, is if their Son, thinks they walk on water.
L.O.L. right?

I figure it's a good chance I'll be a mother in law some day, which makes me the person my daughter in law will refer to as "your mother" when she talks with my son. I hope I am kind, helpful with the grandkids if any, and not annoying. I hope I don't drive her crazy. I hope that she is kind. However, given that what goes around comes around, I'm going to pass on the snarky comments.

My MIL exaggerates things. She loves the word 'devastated'. Eg. "Your poor little brother Greggy (39 years old by the way) was just DEVASTATED that you didn't visit yesterday!" People in her life are always 'devastated'. Unfortunately for her, they don't usually know it!

Speaking as a mother-in-law, I strongly resemble that question....

Mine hasn't spoken to me or my kids or my husband in almost 2 yrs. She's petty. I'm over it.

Stays forever, and when we had an apartment and she had to sleep in the living room, went to bed at 8 pm every night and shut the household down.

My MIL is great. My FIL? Everything drives me crazy about him :-)

I love mine, but she has a habit of saying things that are insensitive and then blaming it on "the language barrier." I "chose" to be bothered or annoyed or upset over something she said "knowing her English isn't so good." Mmmm hmmm.

She also has a habit of discounting me and things I say as being important. She does tell me she loves me like a daughter, and she's happy her son married me. She adores my children. She's not showy with affection, but if I show it to her she'll return it. I have immense respect for her in spite of our rough spots, and I do know she respects me most of the time. I also know that as judgmental of me as she is, she's the same way with her own daughters and their spouses. I think she's actually easier on me because I'm married to her only surviving son.

Breathe!!! Live!! Exist!!

She wants everyone to do things for her.

my mil is 88 years old. and if she were to come over today....it's 66 degrees out she would have my 11 year old son in long sleeves and a winter hat. she thinks if she is cold everybody is cold and should bundle up!!!

she was not good to me or our kids in the past. finally, my husband realized and made changes. now, our relationship is good, and she is building a relationship with our kids. i won't ask for more.

I think you might be opening up a can of worms here.

But for me: My in-laws openly smoke pot around me. They know how I feel about it and that I don't want anything to do with or have it around me and my child. Granted I understand at times that I am in their home but still.

During the summer my husband and I went camping and we were all outside when his parents and some of their friends decided to light up. My 18 month son was nearby and I took him away from it all and at the time I was about 7 months pregnant. They did not see a problem with lighting up around me.

Maybe I am insensitive on the subject, but why should I move to accommodate them?

She treats my kids different than the other grandkids depending on whether she likes me that day or not.

EXIST!

Actually, my MIL, I would like to think, has no bad intentions. She just happens to be one of those people who do things and say things before they act.

"Oh, I thought you lost weight. I guess it was just pictures (apparently, the pic made me look slimmer)."

"You need to have another kid. A boy for my son." I guess my girls are not for him. "To preserve the family name." I'm sorry I did not marry into the Kennedys. There is no preserving last names through me.

"I would never put that light in my foyer." My husband actually responded on this one with, "That's why you have your house and we have ours."

Huffed and puffed and complained "I can't believe they moved without even telling me." I'm sorry but their daughter just got molested. Etiquette is furthest from their minds. How about some empathy?

She also wrote me a letter that started with, "I'm sorry for ...(what she did)" but that became a segway to a litany of things she was upset about me. *sigh

She also bitched about a check I issued to her because the year was wrong. It just turned into a new year. I had to leave out of town and a family member from THEIR side of the family died back home. The wife was here and needed to go home fast. I guess I gave too much because she complained and told me she was just giving a 3rd of what I was giving. I said put it all together and say its from all of us. Her daughter told me she was bitching about me complaining about over priced oranges. This situation floored me. I don't care how hard money is here. It is still harder to find back home and I am not even helping my side of the family. ANYWAY, back to the check she called me 2 days later. I told her that it is not even back dated. In fact it was a year early. I told her to take it through the drive-thru. She was still adamant about it not being good. I told my hubby to drop the cash at her house. If the check does not clear, the she has her cash. (Of course she took the cash). The check cleared and she did not give back our cash. I had to ask for it 4 mos later. We had a 6 month rif about this. It had nothing to do with the money. I just did not like the character of the person that she was during this time.

The list is long... but she is trying to do better and for that I have to give her credit. =). Most of the stuff she says I just chuck to her having a foot-in-mouth disease.

My mother-in-law passed away before my husband and I met in person. She never got to meet her son's wife or his children.

Well, she called us a couple of weeks ago...and I totally couldn't place who she was...even after she told me her first name...finally she said, you know your husband's mother. Ohhhhhhhhh, yeah!!

Yep she has called us maybe three times in 17 years...I have seen her around 6 times in 17 years (that includes our engagement party and wedding and my SILs wedding)...she has met my son twice and our daughter once (when she was three).

I am not complaining at all...I think it is a wonderful situation...it is like not having a MIL.

The crazy thing is she calls her toy sized dog her one and only perfect son...when she has an amazing son (my husband) but just doesn't seem to care.

Everything. Actually she drives my dh a lot crazier since hes really the one who.has to deal with her. Today, she called dh and was asking 5 million nosy questions. She thought dd started school tomorrow, since dh told her that. Actually the preschool program doesnt start for 2 more weeks. He didnt know that before, so he explained it. So she got all rude and started telling dh that he needed to get his story straight. Then she got mad at him because he said he had a headache yesterday and he didnt tell.her that when they talked yesterday. And no I am not kidding. Lol. She is a total lunatic.

mine is a sweetheart. but she is a chronic worrier, and wants everyone to dive down the rabbit hole of angst with her. she's also pretty passive-aggressive. yesterday's was 'so, when are we going to lunch this week?' (we had no plans for this.)
me- 'oh! i dunno....i'll have to look at my calendar.'
10 minutes later (in stage whisper)- 'i didn't realize that david's off on monday. i know you want to spend time with him. don't worry about lunch this week. it's okay.'
me 'well, that leaves 4 other days, doesn't it? but i still don't know when i'm free. i'll get back to you, though.'
ma- 'it's okay, sweetie. i know you need time with your husband. i don't want to be a bother.'
me- ........................................
:/ khairete
S.

Everything! When my kids were babies/toddlers she wouldn't let them play with a butter knife but she would give them a fork or a plastic straw wrapper to play with. She doesn't think they should take their shoes off in the car and one time sat next to my frustrated daughter in the back seat who was screaming her head off because she couldn't get her shoe off. If a kid (or my husband) sneezes on a 100 degree day she is insisting that they put a hat and jacket on because they are cold. She gives more to my daughter than to my son. She insists that my husband drive clear across town from work to pick her up so that she can ride clear across town with him to pick the kids up from daycare. She will tell my husband that yes she will watch this kids one day weeks beforehand but then two days before change her mind because I didn't ask her to do it. She is constantly stopping everything my kids are doing to ask them to read something or tell her the letters on a sign. If they don't she lectures them on how they won't get smart if they don't read. She is constantly telling them not to jump/run/turn cartwheels/etc. because they might get hurt. She can't seem to start a conversation with me, but will walk up to total strangers and carry on a 20 minute conversation about where they are from and what meds they are taking. She can speakmEnglish, but she chooses to speak her home language (which I don't know) around me even when my husband or brother-in-law call her out on it. I could go on and on and on.....